Happy New Year!! It is the year 2019! My birthday is fast approaching again and here we are, doing it again!
My first impressions? This is probably going to be a repeat of last year. Usually, I can hear the highway outside my window, but for two days of the year: Christmas and New Year’s. Well. This season is different. I heard nothing the day after Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve. It was loud already this morning and Christmas day was already busy too when I awoke. Funny how it changes. At least it didn’t rain this morning, but it’s damp and squishy outside from all the rain yesterday.
Liana has been lying down, standing up, lying down, standing up for the last 30 minutes. I think her leg hurts because the first thing that happened this morning as we were going for our walk was Gable ran down so quickly he knocked her down again. At the time I was juggling whether or not to stick with my long standing tradition of going to the park as soon as I wake on New Year’s. It’s wet, soggy, and I’m afraid of driving with her in the car these days. On the other hand, it’s not too far, and a little mud has never stopped us before, plus…tradition!! As soon as that happened, though, it was like an omen. A message. And so, our New Year starts off with a normal, slow and somewhat depressing walk.
Turns out she wanted the bed Gable was lying on and not the one next to my bed because it has more room and is less fuzzy and therefore hot. Ah, yeah, that’s the other thing: it is HOT for the New Year! I walked out in my big coat and beanie and good grief it’s muggy and hot. Figures.
I should do a 2018 overview, but let me discuss briefly Christmas. First off, it was too quick. I mean, I go back to work tomorrow! I can’t believe that an entire 11 days has gone by already! Where did it go? I had stayed to wait for my mom and ferry her down South (Christmas was on Tuesday). When we got there it was a whirlwind of cooking because my sister was coming. I was tired from watching Liana refuse to lie down on the entire ride down, and braking so hard because of a squirrel that Gable gouged my armrest as well as my thigh (nice scrape and bruise there) but life doesn’t stop! We needed more things, so my brother and I drove around looking for any store that was open. South is not like North. NOTHING WAS OPEN except for CVS. Other people were driving around looking, too and everyone ended at CVS. Then they finally came and stuff happened, aka, the baby happened. He ran ran ran everywhere like a monkey. The food turned out not as usual, since all we had was pork this year (beef was expensive! More than double the price of the pork), and since the time was so limited, there wasn’t nearly as much food as Thanksgiving. Before we knew it, they left to go represent us at my relative’s gathering, though everyone was tired. The next day, my brother and I got to witness first hand Target apprehending a shoplifter. It was pretty awesome. We stayed 2 nights before coming back early Thursday morning. Interesting ride back, there: we forced Liana to lay down because I knew she wouldn’t on her own, and my mom took it upon herself to basically immobilize her the entire ride. Funny to think about. The rest of the time was a whirlwind of video games, eating at Hibachi buffet with relatives, and last-minute oil change. Nothing too crazy, but still managed to be too quick. I guess I usually like these holidays to be video game filled routine days. Let me tell you, this is the most I’ve ever slept, I think. Waking up at 9am every day? That’s insane! I never wake up that late. Every time I wanted to try and take them to the park, I just could not get up! I have that much sleep debt? Anyways, here I am. It’s 9:30am, the earliest day I’ve woken up for a week! Exactly! Christmas was the last time I woke up before 8am. The size of my belly probably has something to say about that too. LOL.
So, 2018 in overview: Well, not too much happened, really. Everyone got older, especially my dogs. I’d say that Liana developed lameness, but honestly, I think she’s always had it. Time just caught up and her body is not as it used to be. Gable seems to be doing okay, but he’s older, more incontinent, and his limbs aren’t as sturdy either…just not Liana-grade unsteady. Yet. I got record-breaking sick in 2018. The very first of the year I was already sick with a 3-week long cold. Then every few weeks after that I was sick again and again. I got into my very first car accident around my birthday, I got my very first tick bite. I stopped going to church regularly around halfway through the year because I stopped being able to stand Father “Screamer” and his ridiculous homilies. Right after my nephew’s Baptism. My working out and body improvement came back with a vengeance, though thwarted all year long by my varied and many sicknesses. It was probably the most healthy I’d been in a few years and yet I was always sick. Still, I managed to become very strong, my body much more efficient at building less bulky muscle while keeping the strength. My weight stayed about the same all year until the holidays (right now I have a serious pooch going on) and I’m afraid to weigh myself. My finances didn’t get that much worse, but it definitely didn’t get much better either. I had some seriously large expenses that would occur over and over, every time I thought I was done paying off things. Still working on it. I’m making good headway, but still struggling. It rained. A lot. Like, 50% of the year, statistically speaking. No joke. I decided once and for all to sell my house. I’d been on the fence for a long time because of Liana, but now that she’s the way she is, I am terrified to make the trip by myself and while both dogs still love that yard, I can no longer justify it any more. I need to sell before the market plunges too, and consolidate my finances so I can deal with the debts and save up for once. My creativity started blooming again, though technology still enjoys stealing me away. I started reading books once more, even if they’re kid books. 2018 mostly saw me depressed, though. I’m not sure if it made me depressed, or what, but I’m just not happy and carefree like I used to be. The state of my dogs, the finances, thinking about the future, everything. The rain. The government. Very depressing.
So, looking ahead, what are my goals and plans for 2019?
- Sell my house. This is probably the biggest and most important goal this year. I’m thinking around my birthday, just like when I bought it. Apparently this year, the entry-level home market is good, while the expensive homes are having trouble. First-time buyers are looking. There are things that need to be done before I can do that, and I don’t know what I can do because as I said before, I am terrified of driving down with Liana the stubborn lady that she is. Plus, to sell, you need to spend. Not just on the storage unit and moving truck and labor, but fixing things, mulch, trying to salvage my yard. That kind of thing.
- Get into and keep fit. This is going to be the goal every year. I’ve been so close to success with this, I KNOW it can be done. Gotta work of this holiday poundage!
- More creativity! Similarly to keeping in shape, I know this is doable because I was successful in 2018 jumpstarting this again. Do it more!
- More reading, less technology. I’ve been noticing that the more time I spend on Facebook, the more negative I get. Limiting that will surely improve my outlook. Reading opens my mind and helps tremendously with the creativity. Maybe I can dust off my library card again? I just wish the libraries around here were more focused on escapist fiction. They purge their books like crazy. I wonder why?
- FINANCES. Good grief, woman, do something about the money! Getting rid of the mortgage is going to help with that, but let’s think about that spending, shall we? My dogs aren’t going to last too much longer, so the death costs have to be taken into consideration.
- Positivity? Yeaaah, I dunno about this one. I’ll try, but my nature is that of a
pessimist realist. And if life would stop throwing curveballs at me, maybe it’d be easier to be happy. I know I spend an inordinate amount of time wallowing, but hey.
- Thinking about the future. Let’s face it, without the prospect of a husband and dual income, I’m screwed. I can’t continue the way I am and expect to retire at all. I mean, I can, but that would mean being a serious miser. Without my dogs that’d be easier, too, since I spend about half of my income on them, but what would life be for me? I need to figure out what I want and how to get to that. Selling the house will create a major crossroad in my life. Maybe that’s why I’ve been putting it off for so long. Not to mention, I don’t know what to do about my mom. If I go to dental school and slog through all of that, I will (eventually) be able to provide for her comfortably…but at what expense? My happiness now hinges on my lack of responsibility. I know exactly what that all brings and what stresses…the very thing I’ve sworn since a child to avoid. That is my happiness.
Bah. Looking back on last year, I did well with the physical fitness, the mind power. The spirit was an overall failure, though arguably successful too. My heart? Neither a success nor a failure, which irons out to be, success. I’m content and happy, with a few wishes, but overall my heart is steady and best of all, accepting. It has some iron in it yet again. I think I’ll just be a crazy dog lady forever. I give up.
OK, wish me luck!