And no one asked me to work today or next week so it seems I’m just going to stay home, thank you. Not that it’s an issue except that I’m not going to get paid. I also took off Thursday and we already have Friday off, so that’s cool. The plan is to go South and do things but of course, as usual, it’s supposed to rain. WHY. Oh well. Don’t care, I’m just going to do things.
As I move closer to selling this house, and effectively closing up an escape route, I become more and more ready, while everyone else is the opposite: sad. My brother is basically living there part time now. I think he feels it’s his only chance to live on his own. I think it’d be best if he just saved up money for a cheap house/apartment in Manassas because unlike everyone else, he mostly just works from home, so what’s the big deal? I’m getting more depressed about trying to find a detached house up here in a location I want with a yard, but what are you gonna do? Nothing wrong with a townhouse except it doesn’t have much of a yard at all and the damn HOAs. But the idea of my own place for at least a few years is just amazing to me.
Did a good amount of yardwork on Saturday and that made me so happy. Not to mention it looks darn good if I do say so myself. Pictures never do anything justice. In person it looks quite nice, especially in comparison to my neighbors. This house easily has the most curb appeal on the street. The back yard…I’m experimenting with. I don’t think I’m going to be able to grow grass there, so I tried to plant some mounding plants. We’ll see what happens. I also planted all of the potatoes that were growing in the house, so we’ll probably end up with a jungle of potato plants. LOL. Though…I’m not sure if I want to eat them given the dogs peeing and pooping back there. >_< Thankfully Gable likes to pee on the hay I threw back there these days so hopefully he’ll just keep peeing there instead. Minor muscle pain! Almost gave myself heat exhaustion and only $50 spent. Niiiice.
^if you look you can see the purple muscari I planted in the fall in a path on my neighbor’s yard. Some chipmunk of squirrel ate my bulbs and then proceeded to poop them over there. My neighbors cut them down though.
Still on board with the finance plan, except that I’m not working 2 days this week. It’s all good, the stuff to be bought in the South are going to be on gift cards, so we’re still on track.
I ate way too much last night…I’d been doing VERY well with the diet, eating mostly at home and healthy foods, but the burgers, fries and pizza last night did not sit well in my tummy. Haven’t been that full in a long while.
Hopefully I’ll remember to head out to the library today. I want quite badly to have a book to read before going to sleep and for whatever reason I keep forgetting to go on Saturdays.
These days I stopped thinking about dating, husbands and marriage. Maybe I’m avoiding it all, turning down all invitations to friends marriages. Sometimes the thought crosses my mind that I’ll be lonely and childless the rest of my life. My nephew won’t know the joy of cousins, ever, on either side of the family. Possibly never know a grandpa for either side. Maybe never even a sibling. That’s sad, thinking back on how we used to talk about having kids around the same time so they’d grow up together, but the reality is it’s harder than simply “having kids” or “getting married” as kids think. Haha. Ah the innocence of youth.
Speaking of which, I was just thinking yesterday as I was walking the dogs about how much better it was when you didn’t know anything. Youth is idealistic and dreamy, while getting older means you’re more stringent and unyielding, simply owing to experience. When you have nothing to base anything off of, anything is possible. When you’ve experienced life, you realize that much fewer things are as possible. Or at least you understand the difficulty in getting there, and that in and of itself is limiting. The brain of a young person has no stops because it does not know that stops exist, while the brain of a more experienced person recognizes and has had stops, so therefore is much less likely to take risks. It’s an optimism, pessimism thing, a mental phenomenon. If I, now, pretend that I don’t know that hurdles exist, then I become idealistic again, however, there is much MORE on the line now. I have bills, houses, lives…responsibilities. If those responsibilities disappear or are lifted, all of the sudden my outlook on life is much brighter.
In conclusion, I am old and crotchety and on the path to become even worse.
Haha. This, my friend, is exactly why I continue to refuse a “higher” status job, and am fine with not working anywhere near full time. What I value in life is much different than those around me. Maybe I still am a dreamer. I want a life that is as stress free as I can make it and I want to be happy. I value my time, I value what makes me happy. This definition is different for everyone, so I detest those who would look down on how I’ve chosen to live my life as if somehow I’m doing them a disservice for having to look at me and know I exist. Maybe they’re jealous–jealous that they fell into the cookie-cutter expected life path everyone else took. We’re all different people, so why compare? There’s no point. I like short hair, I like video games. I don’t have a travel bug. I’d like to visit some places, but my heart isn’t shriveling up just because I’m not going abroad every few months. I don’t need a man to be happy, but I’m not going to shut that door either. If it happens, that’s cool. I’m a couch potato, I’m naturally lazy and I don’t like big crowds or uproarious events. I don’t mind them too much, I just don’t like them and then get bored. I LOVE doing yard work (though I have to be careful about not giving myself heat exhaustion like I always do) and I love love love animals. What’s wrong with having a tradition where I go to the beach every year? My patients give me a hard time sometimes about not going abroad or on a cruise or to NYC or to Cancun or the Bahamas. I enjoy it. Maybe it’s not overly exciting or glamorous, but it’s vacation to me. Also, I can’t afford that. And I still refuse to board my dogs. They’re like my kids.
Beh. What having short hair for years on end has taught me is how to have thick skin. The hair and also driving around up here for 7 years. Oiled, thick skin where things just roll off and away from me. I like what I like and nothing will change that.
Dang it Gable why you make my room so stinky?