Finally. I thought it was Friday since Wednesday. Never a good sign. Traffic has been terrible all week long. It’s the super slow grandmas mixed with the impatient work commuters and added roadwork on top of it all. Perfect recipe for disasters and car wrecks. Thank Goodness coming home yesterday was a relative breeze. Man. That’s the only reason I like summer around here. Because of the low traffic, I decided to stop by Giant to pick up some tomatoes and managed to run into my friend! Small world. Well, she lives less than 10 minutes down the road from me, but still. Nice to see her for a little even if I was in a hurry to get home to my pups. How come whenever I see people after they’re married they always look so much older? The burden of commitment? Soul-binding contract?
So then I continue on my way and a bag of shredded lettuce falls down. I decide it’s fate and that I was going to have tacos. I do NOT recommend the super stuffer shells from Old El Paso by the way (I’ve been eating their crispy shells for years). They are just way too thick to enjoy. I’m disappointed. It ends up working really well because Liana actually ate all of her food. I guess they’re old and like the burn of spice. Not too spicy, though, as I’ve learned.
After watching that 600lb show yesterday I was super gung ho about working out last night. I’ve been extremely lazy about doing a proper workout for about a month now, so last night was a light version of what I’d been doing. Oh. My. Gosh. I am horribly out of shape in the endurance department–both muscle and cardiovascular-wise. Strength was even bad last night. Sometimes that happens to me, where I feel like I’m not getting enough oxygen to my muscles and they’re fatigued. Need to open up those vessels again. I keep inflating and deflating, even apart from workouts. Right now I fit in my clothes again, and then soon I won’t. And it repeats.
I’m sad that I’m too poor to even buy games on sale. The list keeps growing, but I’ve been holding back to help salvage my finances. It’s been said before by me: I keep feeling like I’m holding back in so many aspects of my life–like I’m fettered. Handicapped and forced to rein in my true potential. It’s always been like that and with money to blame. The only time I didn’t hold it back, it didn’t go well and that ended up a pile of spent ashes. In light of the recent deaths in my life, it’s just not a good way to have to live. Imagine if I had to die tomorrow. There isn’t too much I’d regret, but…well…maybe in death I can finally unfurl these wings and let loose. hah! Maybe there’s a reason why I can’t! It would be too intense for this world! Hahahaha! I’ve certainly been accused of being way too intense before. People can’t handle what I truly am, so I hold back as to not scare everyone I care about.
Hmm. Maybe even I don’t know what it would be like to break forth from the chains of control in all aspects of my life. Anger and Love I’ve seen at their close to full extent. Huh. I wonder what kind of wings I have? Demon? Angel? Bird???? METAL????