I still can’t believe that it takes ME doing it for things to get done. All of 15 minutes. That’s all it took for me to pull up the website, pick a house and say, we’re booking this. Wow. I gave them since December to figure it out. It’s ridiculous how much people flounder when tasked to do things. I guarantee it will take me another 10 minutes to figure out the cable deal at the house too. Is this what they mean by co-dependency? Setting the rules, the boundaries and coming down to a decision. I know there are patients like that at work too, that refuse to make their own decisions regarding their care (and then the other end of the spectrum too) and rely wholly upon us as the office to make that decision for them. It’s infuriating! If I want something, I’m gonna get it done. Once I start, there’s no backing down until it’s through.
Don’t raise your kids like that. I mean, I understand part of it is nature, but that’s why you toss them into the deep end and make them make their own decision to survive.
Speaking of kids, I decided that I’m not going to be like my aunts and uncle and in the future when my nephew asks for something specific for Christmas or his birthday, I’m not going to make it a habit to give him exactly what he wants because that’s how my cousins are and were raised. By virtue of asking for something, they’re always going to get it regardless of price or necessity or integrity. That’s a horrible trait: expectation and reward. It’s entitlement. That’s how you create rapists and such. I always get what I want. You work for it. Things cost money. The value of money. And unfortunately in life, you won’t always get what you want and honestly what you want from life won’t come the instant you snap your fingers. Never expect that of others either. I won’t always deny him, but it was, sadly, something I had to deal with often in my childhood. My cousin who always got what she wanted couldn’t wrap her brain around it, but at least she saw it. All of my cousins here are like that and it makes it so that they get bored with everything since they always get what they want and then it just sits there. Always looking for something more, but not wanting what they have.
Humans have a natural inclination to want. Always wanting stuff. And it’s good to have goals and something to work towards because life would be boring, but once you finally get it, want it. Otherwise once you get married, the chase is over. It’s no longer exciting. Want what you have.
My co-worker is like that now that she’s married. She spent the better part of the year planning and wanting and building a ridiculous excitement for her wedding. Well, now it’s over. The fervor has died down. She was miffed at work, I can tell, that others weren’t as excited for her as she wanted us to be. I think she’s finally coming down off the high and I could tell she was grasping to fill that fever pitch she’d attained. She’d been living with him for over 2 years already, so honestly it wasn’t all that different for her or us. Just a ceremony was completed with pictures and stuff. Right now she’s got the honeymoon to plan and she’s excited about, but you can see that void in her. The 2 years earlier with all of the steps in a relationship were fun for her, the house, the living, the cohabitation, the trips, then demanding from him an engagement that he was hesitant to commit to, then the engagement, now the wedding. There’s a honeymoon and people asking about babies, but from here on out, it’s just normalcy.
Actually, thinking of that, is that why people have kids then? To make it more interesting? The next excitement step? The loss of static relationship, roommate-style living. The honeymoon phase kaput. Huh. Because kids is where it all starts going through a rigorous test. I should know, I’m watching my sister and her husband go through it. The time in between the marriage and the baby was already a trying time for them (given, also, that there was drama with me involved) because, well, it was boring, and he finally realized my sister’s true nature which is workaholic. Her odd hours, the fact that she’s never home and when she’s home, she can’t relax. You hit a time in your life (certain people at least) when what you want is normalcy. Routine. He’s that kind of guy, I’ve found. He yearns for that traditional routine of 9-5, vacations in the summer, raising a kid together: the Dream. But what he got is not. I’ll never forget the conversation I had with him when he voiced those concerns to me that she’s never home and I told him, gently as I could, that she’s always been like that. Since forever. He might be her husband for the last however many years, but she’s my sister. I grew up with her. His face at that has been seared in my mind forever. I feel bad for my nephew too, but oh well.
In other news, it seems that Gamer Guy that has been pestering me to come over to his house to visit him, which is not at all creepy, has finally moved on with another female. Phew!! I was trying to figure out how to tell him I’m not interested in anything other than friendship with him, but that going to his house by myself is kind of scary so I ended up not talking to him anymore. I’m really glad to see that.
I read somewhere that men are created to chase women and I’ve decided that there is truth in that statement. I have many single patients in my patient pool and for some reason all of the men seem off, like they’re missing something in their lives. They usually fill it with a hobby or something to chase, but there’s a portion of them that’s missing. They practically scream bachelor. My uncle for an amazing example. And my brother. The female singles don’t exude that same vibe as strongly. Or maybe it’s because I’m female that I pick up on it easier? The females don’t seem like they need a man in their lives, while in the men’s cases I always feel like if they had a woman in their lives, they’d be all less weird and uptight. And weird is the nicest and best descriptor here. Once again, maybe it’s because I’m a female not a male (though you wouldn’t know that given my current hair status lol).
I find myself in interesting positions of observation a lot. My nature, maybe? It’s fun though.