Just looked at my bank account, hoping for some extra cash to transfer to other accounts an the process of saving them, but…wow. I’m depressed. Just like the weather right now: damp, gray, sprinkly, and foggy.
Even more depressing is how the weather looks for the next few weekends. Rainy, thunderstormy and impossible for me to do any woodwork staining at all. Buh. I was down staining my fence (finally!!!) and I was pretty upset with myself for being unable to finish the entire side like I planned to originally. The weather was just no working out as usual. I knew it was going to be HOT and humid, but I was promised mostly cloudy skies which did NOT happen. I was dying of heat exhaustion after about 4 hours, and I ran out of stain, so when I went in to cool down and rest for a bit, the sun went away. Every single time this happens in the heat, my ability to return back outside decreases dramatically and I can only endure maybe 1/4 – 1/3 of what I was able to the first time. It’s not even a half-life! Then, when I was ready to maybe give it another shot, the sun came back out and I just gave it up because I still wanted to return north. In the end, I am glad I made the decision to not return back outside because on the ride home, my muscles were starting to cramp and I was getting light-headed and sleepy–all heat exhaustion symptoms.
I just am not young anymore, no matter how I look at it. Mostly it’s frustrating because I really do want to capitalize on selling the house, but life is telling me to just wait and hang on. I’ve already resigned myself to not selling until later on in the year anyways, so that’s not really it. Usually what happens is that I go down to do yardwork and then I come back the same day…well, I do that because I get tired and I know my muscles will start hurting too much to drive comfortably the next morning. My muscle-cramp risk is very high and on a longer duration of drive like that, nothing is more frightening to me than a sudden gastrocnemius cramp–or whatever deep muscle it is that does the cramping. So, if I get all the work out of the way, then I CAN go down and enjoy myself like I used to without worry of needing to do stuff like that. I like doing work but it’s different when it must be done for whatever end. I love the house, and I’m reminded of why I love it so much, why it means so much to me and my dogs whenever I go, but it doesn’t make me happy owning it. The amount of stress and worry that’s constantly on my shoulders in regards to it overpowers the joy of homeownership. My brother and sister actually enjoy(ed) it. I just own it. A source of pride, but not felicity.
On the bright side, I got some work done! It looks nice too. We planned a “surprise” grilling dinner for my mom for Mother’s Day. It was good. Then on Mother’s Day, I took my mom to Super Walmart and the Premium Outlets. It has been a looong time since we’ve been able to just go shopping like that. Our schedules just don’t allow for it. The only thing that was missing was probably my sister, though that would’ve added another layer to things and I get bored of shopping pretty quickly for a female. I personally wanted to go for the Merrell outlet. Bought myself shoes for the next year again. I’m so cheapo, I’ll need shoes, I go spend a fortune on them, and then keep them around for another few months in the box until I really have to replace my old ones. We go about once or twice a year. It was all around a nice day. Thankfully it was a little gray and rainy because everyone slept in a bit and driving wasn’t overly aggressive either…my mom (and everyone else) gets nervous and horribly anxious when I’m driving. It’s bad when the first thing she said while getting in the car was, “don’t make me scared!!!” haha. ha…ha……ha……
My inner fire is not nearly as intense as it used to be. It’s amazing what age can do for you. Honestly, I can’t imagine how I used to be, yowza. Crazy, spitfire, aggressive.
Sleepy day. I actually drew something recently!!! I’m super proud of myself for doing it too. Maybe I’ll manage to draw some updates to RW for once.
So here’s something interesting: one of these was taken with my phone’s new AI Cam and one is just the regular camera. Because I’m dumb, I can’t remember which one is which.