Chilly

What did I do this past weekend? Nothing. Ate food. Bought a game. 2 games. Cut some fabric. Spent a lot of money on dog stuff. Worried about Liana who ate her giant chicken jerky and then Gable’s too and ended up having bad gas and constipation. And DIDN’T GET MY DOUBLE QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE AND FRIES. I ended up with a bacon egg and cheese biscuit and hashbrown which is good too, but NOT A HAMBURGER. Also I chopped off my hair.

This is all silly because I should have been doing sewing stuff. Instead I’m too terrified to do the rest of it because I’m an amateur and don’t really want to mess it all up. I did manage to draw a few things though. RW has been painfully quiet for months on end. I’ve got to do more creative stuff!

Basically did not sleep Monday night. Plus Liana comes into my room and is super loud, and so I awoke feeling completely awake like I never slept to begin with because, it’s true, I really didn’t. Just some surface napping. Then I realized it was October 16.

I’m so fat these days. I have to get back down to doing workout stuff, but so many distractions…and my mom decided she wants to try and sew the final stuff for me. Normally I’d be like, wut I want to do it myself (even if I’m procrastinating), but I really want her to do something and want to do something again instead of sitting around watching TV and brain-mushing all of the time, so I’m more than happy to hand it off.

I wasn’t going to buy any games, but the new Phoenix Wright had come out and I’ve gotten every single game since I tried out the series. Then I downloaded a bunch of demos and the Monster Hunter Stories was such a good demo (despite being based off the terrible, terrible anime) I couldn’t help but buy that too. T-T It really is good, though. I have no regrets. Except maybe a bank account regret.

I’m not sure why Liana has been spending the night in my room lately. As repeated before, none of my dogs start off in my room (except occasionally Gable will plead with me and I’ll give in, but I usually regret that), but the door is open so if they wish to come in, they are allowed. They’re both so adorable. Yesterday I was sitting with her and she put her head on my lap–something she would never have dreamed of doing just 2 years ago. Even last year she didn’t do that. I remember when I first got her, anytime I sat next to her, her eyes would go wild like she was afraid and even if I put her head on my lap she would pull away. If I took a paw she’d pull it back. She was never snappy or growling or anything like that, just fearful and untrusting. THREE years to get her to fully trust me. That’s a long time. He’s always trusted me, but he had a problem where if you even sort of leaned on him, he’d growl in panic, being severely claustrophobic. Ever since Liana let me do that, he decided he wanted loving too, so now I can lean on him for a sort of extended period of time without him growling. He’s always put his head on my lap if I sit next to him. Such a goober.

On our grocery run on Monday I went to get a scratcher because one was calling out to me on the screen ($40 off that $10 scratcher…gut instinct wins again!), but then realized that someone had left $3 in it. I looked around, asked around, and when no one seemed even remotely interested in what I was doing, got a mega millions and a powerball ticket. I’m wary of any semblance of good luck this year, so I’m keeping my eye out for the massive karma fall.

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Weekend

This past weekend? Well, it was heralded by coming home from work to a very hot house. Which meant…wait for it…NO A/C!!!! It might be fall now, but it feels like summer and will continue to do so until the end of the month. So I get home and tired and start arguing with my mom about not servicing the unit which I’ve suggested and she knew about for years now, season after season. We yell back and forth, me knowing that I shouldn’t have said that and she knowing she should have indeed done it, because it’s not my house after all and yet I’m living in it. WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO LITERALLY DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE. Everyone else is afraid to? I DON’T GET IT. I have to do stuff for my grandparents because my uncle and my brother don’t want to and then fight over responsibility until I just get fed up and do it because the only person losing here are my grandparents. I don’t even know anything, THEY do, they just don’t want to be the one responsible for it all. Then at home, not my house and I actually go to work on weekdays, still have to do everything. Once again, all the other adults are too afraid. Then in MY HOUSE which I’m not even living in, I still have to do everything and can’t rely on them for a single task because they literally just don’t do it. Straight up. But that’s another rant that will make me angry to post about.

Well. I ended up feeling bad. She called the guy who installed the HVAC and I already knew he wouldn’t respond because I couldn’t find him anywhere online, so I started looking up other people. By this time it was so late it would’ve been worthless to call anyone, so we settled down to endure it through the night. It’s nothing new, we endured this back then in much worse conditions like dead summer. We as humans can adapt. I left the window open and curtains open the entire night. The sound of crickets, traffic and neighbors talking filled my ears, but that’s not what was horrible about it. The humidity was present, but once again, not extreme as it is autumn now. I usually have to have some sort of covering on me at night, but I found myself spread-eagle on the bed with nuthin. It didn’t feel bad. Until I woke up around 2am because Gable was dying of heat. He was breathing hard and heavy right at my feet, so I had to get up and set up a fan for him. Took a little while but he finally tried to sleep. That’s when I realized that as humans with no fur we can take it, but dogs (and these are greyhounds with very little fur) can’t. Plus, they’re both elderly. I proceeded to have bad dreams (ie a cat peeing on my face because I didn’t feed it) until I awoke. Thankfully it got much cooler toward morning to the point where I thought the A/C had kicked back on. Took the dogs to the park because I knew we didn’t have air (where dumb people with little children were hanging around. One dad in particular let his toddler chase after my large, strange dogs from the bridge all the way through the parking lot where I’d parked far out until I got to my car. I guess he only got the kid because he was afraid I’d kidnap him. This is why I don’t go to the park late or do anything late on weekends) and then back home to call the A/C guy. He came rolling in around afternoon time and proceeded to not only diagnose and fix the problem, but service the unit and take it upon himself to inspect our utility room, pointing out wrong and illegal things. He went above and beyond what I expected him to do. He explained things very well too which was the best part. Hallelujah for chemically treated air.

Took my mom the next day on a ride to a large Walmart where they sell fabric! Very excited to find another place with more fabric to choose from. In the end I did no sewing that day (did a little the day before, trying to keep the temperature down in the house) because I didn’t know how to do what my mom recommended and I am terrified of messing up the finished product. So I played Tales of Berseria the rest of the weekend. Man, let me tell you, there’s a reason why I don’t watch anime…I get caught up in stories and my obsessive tendencies take over.

 

Sunday!

Came back from a Saturday of marathon yardwork with a killer sunburn! Woohoo!

When I came down I was immediately overwhelmed by what a disaster it all had become. Weed-choked beds and weeds galore. The mulch I worked hard on last year? Completely overrun. The plan was to take advantage of this one beautiful Saturday that wasn’t raining to try and at least get the grass killing down because the fence doesn’t rely on heat and sun. And glorious is truly was: gorgeous high of 83 with a moderate breeze and just enough clouds. So I started by commandeering the lawnmower to do it right this time by cutting the grass down as far as it would go before laying down the mulch and landscaping fabric for maximum heat damage. That lawnmower is awesome! Except that the batteries last a total of 10 minutes or so, less if the grass is really thick. Very frustrating. Good thing I don’t plan on owning the house longer than the beginning of next year, because a riding lawnmower would be necessary, and subsequently the dreaded gasoline. The lawn being all weeds didn’t make me feel too terribly bad because if you looked around the neighborhood very few lawns survived this year, but the unkempt factor was annoying. Whatever. I set to work right away (traffic had been so bad it took me forever to start and I had planned on starting earlier before the sun got too high), rolling out landscaping fabric, lofty goals in mind. Ran out, so I made the mulch/fabric/pin run. A guy looked at my items and said to me, “heck of a job for a Saturday,” and I was like, “it’s a nice day.” Same guy smiled knowingly and pityingly at me during checkout. 19 bags later I went back out to finish landscape-fabric-ing and uh oh, the sun was getting bad. But it was OK! Because I didn’t have much of a choice! And there was a breeze!

The difference between this year and last year’s workings

Guhhhhhhhhhhh. The weeds are choking out a tomato plant

By the time I got to spreading the first load of mulch, I was already done for and the expansiveness of the yard hit me hard. Not only did I have but 1/4 of the mulch I actually needed, I could tell my strength was fading and fast. Extremely hot and tired, I came stumbled in around 3pm (I started at 10:30am) and while downing my 2nd Vita Coco stolen from the fridge (water wasn’t anywhere near cutting it), and told my brother in law that I really and truly needed them to buy mulch and spread it for me before the side I prepped turned into the other side. Then I made my way tiredly out to my car, not caring what the heck I was wearing or how I smelled, to buy the second load. This time pushing the cart full of mulch bags was much harder and much less fun. While waiting for my turn at checkout, a couple behind me asked me what case my phone was in. I turned slowly, Ganado-style, and slowly reached for my phone which took 2 tries (I usually stick my phone in the left back and my wallet in the right back), and showed them. He asked if I could sit on my phone without breaking it and I joked that I’ve been sitting on it and we all laughed. The whole time I was frantically hoping in my head that they wouldn’t think I was drunk, possibly having a stroke, but not drunk. Then it was my turn to checkout. Driving home slowly, I unloaded 2 loads, smaller ones because I knew I was quickly fading and still had to spread it. Took some time to put my rocks down around the drainage thing, and frustratingly realized in my addled state that of all the rocks to choose from I chose the one size that would slide willingly into the drain. Figures. I might as well be drunk, holy crap.

Only one more load left (5 bags) I went into the house because I thought I was going to die and needed to rest for a little. Grabbed a new Vita Coco, and went over to my dog’s bed to just lie down for a quickie. I felt my eyes close as my butt hit the ground and as I lay back, Gable barked hard at me before coming to lick my face–something he never does, ever. I could feel Liana lay down on my other side and he wouldn’t stop licking me until I sat up. Right then and there I was revived. I had a surge of energy. It was powerful, having my dogs attentive to my health like that. From 2 dogs that I suspect are ailing from old people stuff. Gable just the other night and morning was displaying more dementia-like symptoms. Liana, I think is intermittently incontinent. I told him that I only have one more and I need to do it so we can go home because otherwise I would crash and never make it back. Like the little engine that could, I kept saying to myself, you can do it. 5 more bags. That’s it. Let’s do this. When it was over, I summoned the last of my strength to take the last wagon-walk back and then grabbed my stuff (slowly) to leave. Talked to my brother in law for a bit and then left. Made it home, finally, and took my long awaited shower ( I knew if I had taken it there I’d never want to drive back). That’s when my next task came: go take care of friend’s cat.

Thankfully, my family called me then to ask what to have for dinner because I hadn’t even thought of food. See, in this instance I am very glad to have someone take care of stuff like dinner and dishes for me. It occurred to me I hadn’t even eaten all day long.

Then we found out about my sunburn. Ouch. Spray sunscreen is great except for on your back. Lotion FTW there. Geez. I hadn’t worn a tank top in years and BOOM there you go. These days I’m so much more comfortable with shorts and tank tops, all thanks to the IPL and possibly old age. Haha. So exhausted, I went to bed around 9pm and ended up on my phone with my brain in full alert mode for an hour. Of course.

Woke up exactly the same time I wake up every day and I could feel my body was going to me unhappy. Ouchies. Not NEARLY as bad as Old Rag, though. I am so proud of myself and glad that my physical state has not deteriorated like that again. Phew! It’s tired and achy, but I can walk and put on my underpants. Definitely could lose some fat, however…

Sunday! A good day to veg out! Or do crafty stuff!

Tuesday again!

Making homemade fried chicken tonight. We can’t drink milk, and what makes fried chicken so good is the fact that it always has buttermilk in it. I never knew what buttermilk is so I looked it up and basically it’s spoiled milk. Milk that is sour. So began my Sunday quest for almond milk which meant that ended up buying 10 more items than I intended which is exactly why I try not to go to Target. -_-;; Anyways, as I’ve learned over the years of cooking, chicken and poultry in general does not absorb marinade quickly like beef does, so it has been in marinade for the last 48 hours. I am excited.

I know I promised to stay away from the fried chicken in respect for the Chicken this year, but I think I figured out why it’s angry…I had gotten a little greyhound statue and put it on the porch and named it…Boubar. Boubar is rightfully a chicken’s name. I am currently on a quest to find a legitimate and appropriate chicken statue to place out there and assign the proper name, but it’s amazingly difficult to find one.

One of my scores from Target, however, was Ever Oasis, a new game for 3DS. It’s not an established series and honestly I don’t even know the company that made it, but the premise sounded great and I am desperately in need of something new and exciting. New indeed! Finally an original game not based off of anything, with a new world, new gameplay, new everything! So far I love it. It’s like a mix of Rune Factory town micromanaging, real time monster fighting like Children of Mana, you can have a team up to 3 players and there are dungeons to explore! A bit like Golden Sun too where you need certain abilities to access areas in the map. I think I’m about 70% done with the game.

This PMS this month has been ridiculous. I must be super fertile this go-round. Not only emotionally am I feeling it, but I feel FAT, I want fried food, and my skin is secreting a crazy amount of oil which means, pimples. Everywhere. My desire to forage and gather is also tremendous!! And let’s not mention my temper. Good golly.

Speaking of temper, I find it absolutely amazing, if not short of a miracle, how much I’ve chilled out. Part of it feels like, I’m too old and it requires too much energy to care about so and so, and the other part of it is simply, it really does not matter. My life fire is starting to burn evenly and looks like it’s only going to diminish from here on out. 30. Such an interesting year so far.

Ever since I organized my room yesterday, my skin stopped crawling as much and the allergies mostly left me. Darn dust mites. It’s weird, as I get older, I find that I’m less allergic to pollen as more allergic to dust. Still allergic to mold, but the dust is the real killer for me.

I was very productive on Sunday as I resolved to be: baked things, made Jello, cleaned my room, spent a frustratingly long time trying to fix the shelf in the kitchen which was literally being held up by a sandwich container (my shoulders are much too wide to fit in tiny spaces like that anymore…10 years ago that would have been easy…it’s amazing how much you grow in your 20s…not up, though, only out, lol), spent money, marinade, found my DS, aaaaaaand…then played Ever Oasis. lol.

Did you know that TeeFury sells posters? Really cool ones too.

Cystic type pimples are the worst. They are so PAINFUL.

Beach in one month!

Exhausted

I tells you. It doesn’t get much better than physical labor for my house. There’s something about accomplishing something by my own blood, sweat and tears. Starting with an idea and seeing it through myself. So much of this life we live in now it handed to us or automated. If we keep consuming and not creating or accomplishing, how can it continue?

Yardwork, crafting, cooking, training, growing plants, raising dogs, writing…

Getting my hands in the dirt, getting dirty, soil under my nails, being in the sunshine, covered in paint, working my body…

Going to sleep happy, satisfied and exhausted. Knowing that I did something and seeing/enjoying the results of it. To be proud of it, and to have others enjoy it too.

To me, this is life. This is being alive.

Me, my dogs, the earth, the sun.

I am one with nature, with my nature, with life itself. Like the birds, the bees, the grass, the plants.

If only I had someone I can share this amazement, this love of life with. Someone who understands it…no, not just understands it, comprehends it. Like my dogs, who can appreciate a good day of work and sun. Who can sit back on the grass, watch the clouds go by, appreciate the birds flying and the bug crawling on my foot, and ponder our existence in the great scheme of things. No words needed, just awe of living.

Then back inside to cool off and relax with some video games before heading out in search of foods.

I love this house, but our time is short. I’ll have to find another to love in the future.

Will I ever find my man?
Searching for one who can:
Enjoy a day of work and sun
And then when it’s said and done,
Sit back and relax on the grass
Observe as the clouds pass
Watch the birds fly and swoop
Note the bugs passing underfoot
Gaze upon the mountains in the distance
Ponder our role in this brief existence
Retire to bed feeling satisfied,
Forever in love with being alive

 

I’ve done more in this past weekend than most of the year so far

And the year is halfway done. WUT. June crept up so silently I can’t believe it’s already the fifth.

Talk about keeping  busy…Saturday I went to hang with an old friend of mine who currently moved a few minutes up the road from me. Got to meet her kitty and boyfriend (his house she moved into), both of whom were great! Sweetest kitty I’ve ever met and he is so very interesting and nice! Took a tour of the place, got to talk and play with cat. Then we went to a nearby park that I personally have never been to and wandered around there for a bit. Tried honeysuckle for the first time in my life, avoided mud, then backtracked because she’d dropped her phone. Turns out it was, thankfully, not found by anyone else/run-over/or in mud. Then we went a little bit more, saw lots of dragonflies, a toad, and deer tracks. We were being obliterated by bugs so turned around to come back to her place. Did lots of catching up with her and somehow managed to volunteer myself to come back the next day to help clean out her apartment. haha. Not like I have anything better to do with my time. Spent the rest of the night with the family, played video games.

Sat through another painful Father “screamer” homily and mass. I realized that day exactly why I do not like him: he is just like dummy from work! He was doing some long-winded thing (thankfully without too much screaming, even if it was still realllllly hard to concentrate on the latin I was trying to read) and the congregation was done listening so he could feel the tension and negativity and started flipping out. Over and over I’ve seen how desperate he is for everyone to like him (he’s a newer priest and actually said it once that he wants “you to like me” *cue eye roll*) and yet he has that annoying Look-at-me-I-know-a-lot-please-respect-me attitude that’s unnecessary and that obnoxious nasal singing!!! Anyways. I can’t respect people who are always pining for others’ approval. Just be confident, be yourself, be humble, and people will like you. No need to fake it, just show people you can be respected. Plus, why do you need everyone to like you? Not everyone will. It’s life. Dummy at work does the same thing. Stop being fake, shut up, and just work. Everything else falls into place. It’s painful. Absolutely painful to experience.

f88a91fff5525bf32ec5a8907e34fa60     al-inspiring-quote-on-self-acceptance

Sunday! Woke up earlier because I promised my dogs that we’d go to the park. Decided to go close to home today and what a good decision! The trees have filled in now, teeming with wildlife. The day was not to hot and not to cool. It was early enough that not many people were out and given the muddiness, more reason for less people to be there. Pictures were taken, dogs were unhappy with that, but they got to jump in the water a bit (lower than I’d seen it in the past), crossed some stepping stones, talked to old guys who like dogs, got to see the pond now filled with lily pads and not algae. Then we went off the trail a bit and found a gorgeous little enclave next to the water with a beaver dam at the end (at least I think it is, given the dogs’ inclination to smell ferociously at the greenery and water). Snapped a few more pictures and I would  have loved to sit there and take it all in, but the dogs were tired, and I had to get home since I had other obligations. Will certainly have to revisit! It’s funny Gable was being dramatic on the way over there (it’s a little tricky walking around the tree roots) and noisy as usual. In the meantime Liana who was afraid of water the first time I attempted the stepping stones, this time wanted and was the first to jump in. In fact, instead of being like Gable who followed me across the stones, she decided to venture further and was taken by some smell on the rocks (that’s what inspired the old man on the bridge to start talking to me). She…I don’t trust off-leash because she has a mind of her own, but I let her off there because it’s more dangerous to cross dangerous terrain with leashes than without. Plus her recall is at times better than Gable’s. Him I do trust for the most part because I know for a fact he won’t leave me. That greyhound in him sometimes side-tracks his mind, though. Plus he likes people and does that scary suddenly-lunge-at-you-thing because he’s so excited. Even over at the little enclave she wanted to go into the water. Silly girl. I’m excited to see her at the beach this year then!

Came home, mowed the lawn, shower, food, more games until my friend texted me and off I went. Hung out a bit there, helped unpack the car, busied myself with the cat, who decided he likes me (I think) while they were eating lunch. I kept forgetting myself and treated him like a dog. Then off we went! Spent several hours there scrubbing, cleaning and packing stuff into the car. Got to know her bf very well. Got back around 6pm and after helping unload the car, ran home to my unhappy dogs. Tired but happy and fulfilled.

What a great feeling to be needed and to be able to help. I’ve always loved helping with anything and everything since as long as I could remember. It’ll never die. That’s my weakness and possibly my downfall. That’s the point of my life. My meaning of life. I need to be needed. To make people happy.

It was also very therapeutic to be around positive energy. New energy! New situations, ideas and places. She is very much in love with him, and he truly cares for her. It always amazes me how much I can gather from a person and quickly. I can’t help it, that’s just I do (another downfall of mine). He really is quite a find for her. What I noticed throughout the 2 days is that he’s rather much like my own personality. I hope I wasn’t coming off as too nosy or putting off any other vibes because felt nothing but curiosity about him.

Things I learned:

  • He drives an Outback (already a winner in my book, lol), and you can learn a LOT about someone through their driving. He drives…like me. Meaning he’s definitely got an impatient side to him and he tries hard to maintain a calm demeanor, but unlike me, he doesn’t suffer from true road rage (actually I’ve yet to meet many others who suffer like me). Sometimes I think it’s the car, but I don’t think so.
  • He has an extremely creative mind that is always working. Always. This means that he has the potential to notice things you might not think he notices. However, he is musically inclined, so how much of that working is music and noticing patterns? Maybe that’s what makes us impatient: that our minds are always working, and faster than most so let’s hurry it up, people!
  • He is extremely confident. This is a rarity amongst males but most people in general. Being comfortable in your own skin points to the upbringing you had and also your strength of spirit/soul. Alongside confidence is usually intelligence and the acceptance of your own strengths and weaknesses.
  • He is an erudite. Even though he is confident, it doesn’t go past to arrogance much. He (mostly) readily admits if he doesn’t know something. I brought something up and he bristled a little to have someone with a different view to his, but it didn’t last and he was able to think about it and apply it forward. Impressive.
  • Similar to above he is able to consider other viewpoints, and yet maintain his own in the face of it. Some people I call Bamboo People will in your face suddenly change their stance on something just because everyone else is saying that. Others cling so vehemently onto their own ideas they can’t even bring themselves to see a different viewpoint.
  • He has 4 older sisters (2 biological and 2 step). This means he knows how to treat women. Or he’d better.
  • A fellow DIY’er. You do something yourself, you learn how it works. You know how it works, then you know how to fix it. Also you save money.
  • He’s thoughtful. He was adamant that he didn’t want my friend to have too much to pack or do on the day she has to be checked out because she’d be coming from after work, so he tried hard to jam everything into the car. He cares. Caring is the all-important trait to me.

So all in all, I respect him. He’s earned my respect. That says a lot. My standards are high and he got it within an hour of me meeting him. Yesterday was the surefire fill-in-the-gaps day. Grilled him. Make sure he’s a good guy. Sometimes I feel like I notice things that other people don’t. I don’t know why I’m always reading people like that. It’s unnecessary and adds layers of complications and stress to me, knowing too much about people and judging them. Well, it’s been spot on for the vast majority of my life, so if you ever need to know about someone, I’m here for you. Haha. Get them in my dental chair and I’ll really know. Nothing like fear and loss of control to bring out the real you. I also gleaned other information about him, some of political stances, stance on the occult (and therefore possibly religion), nerd interests, aaaand in watching my friend with him, how she feels about things. She’s always been a little bit of a harder read for me, because she good at keeping things in.

Anyways, it was really good to feel alive and not depressed and honestly in terms of relationships for me, proves that there really are people out there that could be good for me. That there exists those that share similar traits, interests and intelligence levels. Never a “perfect” one, but that they do exist. That maybe this is the type of guy I’d like? I dunno yet. A confident man like my own confidence. Would that clash? He would definitely need to know things that I don’t know, otherwise he would be bringing nothing to add to my life. No matter, it highlights the things I value in a person and I am extremely happy for my friend for finding such a winner! She really is happy and lucky. And so is he. He’d better know that. I really hope it works out.

I’m also really happy that she’s so close now.

 

Weekend!!

Noticed on our walkies today that there were a BUNCH of dead/dying cicadas, bees, and other beetles, among cicada casings and things eating the dead cicadas. I tried to pick up a dying one. It fluttered its wings like crazy and so I dropped it, but it didn’t go far after that. Very dark green and red eyes. Is it time to mate again?

What did I do this weekend? Uhhh. Got to see M on Saturday. Very short amount of time but it did wonders for my heart. Then Zelda: BoTW and that’s about it. Sunday was Mother’s Day, so I slept in SUPER late and then we went to go eat with my uncle, grandparents and my great aunt. It was unbelievably crowded and it was just nice to be able to socialize. Went home and played Zelda again for a bit before my brother and I started tackling the kitchen light. My brother got her a new light for Mother’s Day to help her see the kitchen better. As usual everything in this house is complicated even though in theory it’s so easy. We ran into some major snags so after trying to get creative, digging around toolboxes (had to shut the whole house power), we ran off to Home Depot and came back to finish the job. A lot of doing, redoing, then doing that over again too. Eventually we got it to work!!! But then two of the lights don’t work. -_-;; Oh well. Until next time. Should be a ton easier the next time around. So glad my brother and I get along well enough to tackle problems like these. We’ve come a long way, that’s for sure. When things get stressful keeping the humor good, and staying calm, no blaming or anything is the best. I’m so proud of us for getting over and refraining from turning into my dad in situations like this. After all that we were a bit tired, but left again to look at different lightbulbs because the ones he had were crazy bright, like BLIND YOU bright. Took the opportunity to stop by my grandparent’s to help my grandma change a phone number in her phone. She proudly showed me her tomatoes and my grandpa was happy to see us too. Then off to Freddy’s for dinner and then finally back home to feed the dogs.

It was crazy to see my brother so upbeat and social. It’s like I’ve been saying all along: you gotta get out there and do something, with other people, to bounce ideas, get new perspectives, agree, disagree, whatever. The moment you’re in motion, you stay in motion. If you sit still, you’ll stay still. In one day he was social, physical (lights), mental (also lights), and so the energy ball keeps rolling and you don’t want to stop. The snowball effect! And it makes you happy because humans really do need that stimulation; physical, mental and social. And we’re not just talking simple yes, no, conversations either. Quality conversation where you ask questions, learn new things, delve deeper, and ultimately make those social connections with people by getting to know them better. Not every single day unless that makes you happy, but enough that you don’t get sequestered in your own head thinking the same thoughts and seeing the same walls. Not TOO deeply either unless they mean that much to you. I’ve made the mistake before at work of getting to know patients TOO well…I think I’ve finally learned  the ideal depth unless I really, really, like them.

Gable has had some UTI issues, but I’m too poor to address them. After this week I’ll be able to have some wiggle room, I think. In the meantime I’ve been trying to keep it at bay with cranberry juice. He feels better, even if he hates it (which I don’t blame him at all), but I know it’s not solving the problem.

Did you know that the way the market is currently, I could make $70,000 if I sold my house right now???? That’s how much more it’s worth since I originally bought it. I wish I could. Then I could help my mom out because I think my dad is being an asshole with the alimony. Either that or he died. Hah. Yeah right. He will neither die nor retire because the instant he does his retirement stuff goes right to my mom. She’s having a really tough time with it and I’ve been telling her since the beginning to find a way to stop relying on him. If it was me I’d cut every single tie I have to him if possible. I’d make it work, because that alimony is the last shred of control he has on her life and without it he has NOTHING on her. What the hell he is doing with his money is not my concern. He can have it all if he wants. Swim in it. Drown in it. I want zero debt or reliance on him.

Zelda: BoTW is seriously a 10 rated game in my opinion. Everything about it is just perfect and the little details make it the best. How they jammed so much content into such a little cartridge I have no freaking clue. Still have yet to find everything and still only halfway through the main quest line.

Mowed the lawn (amazing feeling, that), cooked. Not much else in life. Haha. I keep getting older, and time just keeps ticking away, but I honestly can’t complain about anything in my life. The negatives are there but overall I’m just blessed. I need to remember that.