Friday again

Woke up with the song Paradise by Love & The Outcome in my head

Catch your breath and close your eyes,
You and me forever after,
Lets let our plans and dreams collide,
We are a beautiful disaster. (Yeah.)
Never thought life could be this way,
Even thought we change our love will stay,
Stronger then the storm in me every day,
Cuz even when it bad its good.
Me with you
In our own paradise, its paradise,
Only with you
In our own paradise, its paradise,
(Paradise, its paradise.)
Made a mess but here we are, (here we are.)
Broken pieces fit together,(yeah,)
I hold your tears you heal my scars, (heal my scars)
Now I know you more then ever, (yeahh.)
Never thought life could be this way,
Cuz even when it bad its good.
Me with you
In our own paradise, its paradise,
Only with you
In our own paradise, its paradise,
(Paradise, its paradise.)
Forever I’m yours forever your mine,
I need you like mad its true,
Only with you in our own paradise, its paradise
More then we ever asked our imagined,
Live in the moment, I handle open,
More then we ever asked our imagined,
Live in the moment
Me with you
In our own paradise, its paradise,
Only with you
In our own paradise, its paradise,
Forever I’m yours forever your mine,
I need you like mad its true,
Me with you… Its paradise,
(Paradise, its paradise, its paradise, paradise.)

I really like their music.

So. It’s Friday again. I’m definitely PMSing again. When I get depressed, then happy, then lonely, and mad x 3. The last one is the real definitive indicator. Idiot at work is really setting me off and while it impedes my ability to work well, when it starts messing with my patients and making them uncomfortable or irritated, then I can’t deal with it anymore. I snapped and started going off about her to one of my bosses yesterday. He was completely taken aback and was like, who what when where huh? Grrrr. I’m getting very close to discussing this with my other boss. It’s gone far enough to the point where I was thinking of working here only 2 days a week and then somewhere else instead the other days when she’s there.

I was watching a Facebook video of a different method of doing cosmetic veneers, and made the ultimate mistake of reading the comments. Like a dummy I was like, huh, I wonder what other dental professionals think because I, myself, saw many problems with the way the system works. Well. Let’s just say that the video and subsequent comments are proof perfect that people on the internet (and therefore regular people) know very little about how things operate and yet still wish to squeeze their irrelevant opinions into anything and everything. The comments were mostly how dentists are crooks, then there were those who marveled at the idea of veneers (except they’ve been in dentistry for quite some time), then those who complained about why their dentist didn’t do that and instead took out their tooth, then the religious zealots in broken English that said Jesus will fix all your problems, those who shared dental stories about something not even remotely related to veneers….at the time I saw no input from any other dental peeps and it boggled my mind at how these people were missing the point of this video. It was a DIFFERENT way to do veneers, not introducing veneers as a new concept, or saying it was the end all restorative. In a way it was a fascinating research piece for sociology, or for how humans overall react to anything on the internet. If I took all the comments (being in the dental field, myself, and knowing a bit about how things work in it) and made a pie chart of the types of responses from this particular population of those who commented from the Facebook Channel, it might be very interesting indeed. Then you could compare it to other types of videos and see if the population of answer-types remain consistent across the board, or if it changes. Then if it differs greatly, then explore why and how and the different variables attributing to the discrepancy.

Huh.

Well the plan tomorrow is to do yardwork. Whoo. Stumps to be ground out today.

 

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Without the Tree

Busy trying to sleep on a fall morning and realizing that the airplanes flying to the airport are much more noticeable now. It’s amazing how much trees benefit us, and of course we rarely notice anything until they’re gone. On the bright side, I have since stopped waking up with inflamed eyes, coughing, etc.

This week is sooo slowww and it’s about to go even more slowly because S is going to be gone today and tomorrow. B will be in her place and we all know how that goes…basically means that you have to start taking care of yourself.

Saturday will afford me some time to do yardwork for my place. I’ve been entertaining thoughts, again, about houses even though I’m well aware that it’s not going to happen anytime soon. One can dream.

Q and I were talking about S and her boyfriend and if he’s going to propose at the wedding they’re going to. It should have happened last year this time, but I don’t know what’s going on in his mind. She’s been waiting and waiting and waiting. We’ve discussed a few times about how she doesn’t deserve someone like him, despite how much she loves him, because she’s so vivacious and positive and happy, but he’s a bit of a reluctant stick in the mud. Being his hygienist, I learn a lot about a core of a person and I can glean and extract information in a wholly innocent way. He’s better than he was, much more mature now than at first, but he’s still got the give-up attitude where he’ll say anything, agree to anything you want him to say as opposed to being true to what HE wants and HIS own feelings. The bamboo syndrome that affects so many. That drives me crazy. They just moved into a house (2-year rent) and she was so excited about it given the fact that they can save money and mostly for their dog (he’s so proud and loves the dog so much) but he really didn’t want to, preferring instead to rent an apartment, despite the numbers and overall advantages and benefits of doing so. It really bothered me that he couldn’t see it, and I’d posited my suspicions to S, where she got upset at me, but hey, I say it as I see it. Eventually, of course, he told her (after some furious back and forth) that he was really excited to be moving into a house. As usual, it left me wondering what his true feelings are. Q and I discuss, but it’s not our life, so we just hope for the best.

Anyways, all that discussion had me jump into voicing to another person for the first time what exactly went wrong with my own relationship. I explained to her that I feel like it might be a little bit like that where it’s a one-sided relationship, but how much of that is the difference between females and males? Mine was so purely one-sided, I’m sure no one else can beat that. Except maybe my dad. Huh. Well…he resembled my dad in so many ways it wasn’t funny. S’s bf does care for her, though, that much I’m positive. It’s the little things, you know? I just, couldn’t be with someone who cared so little about me and so much about himself. I explained to Q that I wasn’t trying to get in his way, but if I did matter at all, it would have worked because he would have made it work. And that focus problem he claimed he had, you can’t get around it because it’s going to be like that forever. I guess you either learn how to balance priorities or you don’t. And the worst part is: if he knew he just didn’t love me anymore, why prolong it? Why extend the lie? Who else benefits but himself. Why not just tell me? It’s always been about him. All 2 years. On both sides.

It feels good to let things out. I do it plenty on here, but in person it’s even more therapeutic.

I wish I could forget. But I can’t. Damn brain.

Gorgeous gorgeous clear sky!

It’s the time of year to feel lonely again. I’ve been super talkative to my patients too. I guess I’m back! Haha. It’s amazing what vacations can do for you.

Vacation High

Monday and yesterday had me on my vacation high. Nothing fazes me during that time and things just roll off my back. Started coming down on the commute home yesterday when I finally got mad at someone. It’s amazing how every single time I forget about what it’s like to come back to driving up here. Especially during the school year. Everyone’s crazy, terrible, inconsiderate. I was trying to walk into the grocery store, mindful that around here instead of waiting for you, it’s everyone for themselves and they try to “beat” you so they don’t have to wait which translates to 10 points for running that pedestrian down just so that you can later see them in the store, so I stop and wait as 2 cars come barreling from either direction. They both end up stopping for me, but one so close into the crosswalk and impatiently waving me along. Might as well have just gone. They can’t even be patient, patiently. Defeats the purpose of doing a courtesy when it’s begrudgingly. It just puts into perspective how much stress it is to live around here; little stresses, but it’s constant. It turns you into an insensitive jerk too, because you have to be to survive, even if it’s not your nature.

Maybe that’s why I ate so much on the trip. LOL. I was relaxed. And, yes, I truly was relaxed. Slept well, hung out, no worries about work or traffic commuting, or being anywhere at a certain time. It’s crazy, too, when I realized how being relaxed opens up my brain. It’s like stress of work focuses it too much, like looking down a narrow hallway straight ahead, while relaxation (TRUE relaxation) broadens my perspective. All of the sudden I noticed that words come to me much easier, I’m not nearly as negative at work, looking to the good of people more than before. Less pinched-feeling overall. In the last 2 days I’ve been back to work I noticed people saying things to me that before the trip I’d be all gossipy and negative about too, but I’m less inclined to think that way now and they’ve noticed (body reading at it’s finest).

Won’t last much longer, I’m afraid. I do have a 4-day weekend coming up since I worked on Monday, which means I can extend my good mood a little longer, but alas, I’ll be back by next week. Sigh. This. This is the exact feeling and lifestyle I miss. People are nice, laid back, and considerate. I can shrug my local persona and just let my natural inclinations out. It’s a happier life with lower blood pressure overall. You just forget about it until you have it again.

Sigh. Gotta put my extra skin back on soon. Boo.

In other news, fall is coming! Or is it already here? The tree is coming down on Friday if it doesn’t storm too badly. I’m excited! When we got home the entire top of the tree was bald, and brown leaves in a massive pile on our deck. None of the other trees look like that. This one has given up. I still think it was Gable’s nitrogen poisoning causing all of it. Also why I can’t grow grass back there. Dogs…

LOVE shopping for fall décor and costumes and such. Speaking of which, gotta get moving on the costumes! Oh man, that’s another thing I miss! There are fabric places in the south!!! There is literally ONE place around here that sells fabric. Why? Because people just don’t have time for stuff like that.

You know, I read somewhere that people who are always “bored” and are always booking their lives full of events tend to have lower IQ’s, because those with higher IQ’s tend to think about things more. Not sure how accurate that is, but I do know that I hate overbooking my schedule, or booking it at all. It always amazes me when I meet people (they’re everywhere and I’m related to some) who literally can’t sit still. It’s like they’ll die if they stop moving. Those people are always wound up and have no clue how to relax. If they had to sit still in quiet for 30 minutes, they’d freak out. Anxiety. I’ve learned as I get older, how precious it is to find someone who is comfortable in their own skin and comfortable with their own spirit. Meditation is just that, isn’t it? But there’s fake mediation and there’s true meditation. Mindfulness, whatever you want to call it. Be comfortable with yourself. Believe me, I had lots of practice with that this vacation and I’ve always loved it my entire life, so I’m no stranger to it. Drove up and down all by myself with my dogs. And what is being at the beach if not relaxing mindfulness?

Tuesday Morning

In just a few days, we will be on our way to the beach! On the day of, it will just so happen that the remnants of hurricane Harvey that devastated Texas will be hitting us, but hey. Tropical storm rain isn’t so bad. Speaking of tropical storms, we are being rained on by a tropical storm too, which meaaaaaaaaans……NO SEALING AND PAINTING. So once again, all that frustration and scrambling and people parking illegally on the street is all for naught. Walking around with the dogs this morning, I’m wondering if it’s feasible to wait until 7am tomorrow to move my car because lots of spaces open up now that school is in session and everyone is back to work.

Rainy, cool, late summer morning…a good time to be listening to Karen Carpenter. Where do I go from here? Tell me where do I go from here? You said you’d take me through the years, so where do I go from here?

…I like having a good memory, but it really is a burden when you want to forget something, except you can’t because you just don’t. A promise said, a moment of laughter, the feel, the smell, the pain, the anger, and the wonder and realization of things you purposefully overlooked.

I’m reading through some Reader’s Digests and it’s amazing to me how many times I’ve eye-rolled at the things I’m reading. Things that aren’t excessively detailed like a research article, but are stating information that, to me at least, seem like common knowledge or at least an easy inference/conclusion given the information readily available. My mom is a good example. She told me a few months ago that we shouldn’t keep things in the pantry or the fridge past the expiration dates because they can make us very sick and that she read it in Reader’s Digest. I’m like, it took READER’S DIGEST TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND WHEN I’VE BEEN SAYING IT FOR YEARS ON END? Every single time I would go to clean out the pantry of expired items or the refrigerator she would balk and say she doesn’t understand why I would throw out perfectly good food even though they were all on average 5 years past expiration date. Not to mention that the logic of getting rid of something well past the expiration date is very clear and reasonable, I don’t understand why you would question that. I mean…maybe because I do have a deeper understanding of why things work the way they do that I don’t question things?

I guess I do assume a lot…I tend to assume that people understand things like that because I get it. Exactly why you shouldn’t just eat expired food and what it would do to you. Why gay people are just normal people and why nature would allow homosexuality. What certain medical symptoms mean and why your body is reacting the way it is. Sometimes I try to explain my way of thinking as spherical or round. I think most people think linearly. What function of that is learned or innate, I’m not sure. It was already apparent when I was in college where my professors all stressed critical thinking and half of the classes couldn’t do it, but it was blatantly apparent when I went to hygiene school and I was literally the only one in our immunology course to pass the exam because it was 3/4 critical thinking and not just rote, spit out information. I remember the indignation of my fellow classmates and how I had to hide my test grade, but they found out anyways.

Should I stop assuming other people think like that? I tend, too, to assume that people remember as much of past events as I do. Well, I think more people should try to think spherically. I’ve tried, though, somewhat unsuccessfully with my family. I’ve had years to work on my brother and my  mom, but my mom can’t do it. She can do it for the instant I’m talking about whatever, but after that, it’s back to normal. My brother can do it, but he is heavily weakened by his overall lack of experience in pretty much all life experiences. Most of what he thinks and knows is straight information too, and on top of it he is prideful and pretty much will never admit he is wrong. And he runs away from conflict. If it’s not favorably or he finds it unpleasant, he’ll avoid it with a 100ft berth best he can. That’s not learning, though. Learning means to accept criticism and wrongness, because, well, even medicine likes to rescind information that is “common knowledge” because of new, breakthrough technology. My new biology textbook proves as much to me.

DANG Way out of time.

Tuesday Yet Again

It never fails: if it’s a work day, then all of the sudden I can’t get up. A significant difference from yesterday.

My dreams were annoying as I waited for my clock to count down the time, as usual. That low-sleep type of dream: realistic and headache-inducing. Ugh. I did, however, dream during REM sleep realistically and graphically about getting pregnant. I don’t know who the father was (it seemed to drift in an out of switching between male and female) but they were skinny and young. Very fertile to be successful on my first go at it because the next morning it became apparent that I was pregnant so I told my mom and dad who were conveniently sitting quietly at the table. I actually said to them, “Well, I’m going to tell you now since both of you are actually here together, which doesn’t happen often at all, that I’m pregnant.” My sister was really excited because then our kids would be growing up as cousins about the same age. Then I said, “I’m going to need to go shopping for toys,” and she replied that she has plenty of toys to share.

Damn biological clock.

I was thinking the other day about Failed Relationship (yes, it pops up at least once a day because it bothers me to no end that I failed something) and I wondered if it would have been different if we both were idealistic and young. The ridiculously obnoxious screaming priest said in his homily that older married couples say that they love each other so much more and deeply after all these years, more than when they were first married. Yes it makes sense because of the psychologically approved steps in romantic love that it would mature if you make it that far. That’s what got me thinking, because he had a failed marriage, himself. Besides his accusation of me always being 10 steps ahead of him in life, well, he was 10 steps ahead of me in the relationship-sense. New couples tend to be all over each other because you just can’t get enough. I watch married couples walk together and they really don’t touch that much. When I was with him, I wanted to be in skin contact all the time: holding hands, linking arms, etc, because I just loved him so much. That new, young love. I realize at some point that phase would pass because you are in such close proximity after a while you don’t need to do that. He was married for a year or two, before it went bad. I realized during the time that he didn’t like when I did that, like it was unnecessary. Maybe it was because he didn’t need that anymore. That’s why I wonder if we were both in the same boat relationship experience-wise, would it have been different? He wouldn’t have had other experiences to pull on, not like me. I dunno. Speculation is speculation. I wonder what it’d be like for me to go back into a relationship again? What would be different for me? I’m no longer a greenhorn. Maybe more bluish.

Castlevania the anime on Netflix? Really enjoyed it. They need to release more!

Some of my debts are almost gone!!!! Hallelujah! I’m so STOKED to be able to rid myself of these! That way I don’t have to worry about it anymore and dedicate those payments to SAVING MONEY. AWAAAAH!

OK…that tears it.

No video games today…unless it’s on my DS. As my late post last night proved, I spent the ENTIRE DAY playing Assassin’s Creed Revelations and finishing it. Then I watched that movie and spent an hour and a half writing about it from my phone (ugh) because it was stuck in my head. MEANING….I got zero sleep. And all of my dreams were annoying and scary and not restful at all (ghosts and pretty much assassin’s creed stuff). I went to sleep wide awake, and woke up wide awake. Kind of a good thing, though because I heard Gable and rushed him outside so he could pee. I hate having shallow sleep dreams, which is exactly why I don’t nap. My shallow sleep dreams are always disturbing. Always. Like it’s the wrong mental plane for dreaming…half realistic and half fake to the point where I don’t always know which is which.

Last night I was complaining about my overly religious cousin in Alabama who is always asking for prayers about the dumbest things. Last night pushed me over the edge when she wrote, “prayers for the AC in [her husband’s, my direct cousin] car!” OMG. Stop asking for prayers about car seats and inane things like that!!! If there’s a problem, go fix it. No amount of prayers or faith is going to magically help the A/C work better in his car when it’s not life or death. If the car seat is broken, go get a new one. Let me get out there, that they are not poor. They’re not amazingly rich either, but they’re not poor. Prayer doesn’t work like that. You can pray, but go freaking do things instead of sitting around asking for prayers. My mom and I start arguing and she’s right that I’m flying a little off the handle about it because she means no harm by the statement, but to me, that’s the kind of person (unfortunately a pervasive type of religious thought prevalent in the south) who falls the hardest because in times of not great need they are asking for prayers and calling on God (unless you’re Catholic, you don’t believe in saints…it all goes to either the big guy or Jesus), what happens when something catastrophic happens and no help arrives? Kind of like crying wolf. My co-worker is Ethiopian Christian (which is super religious…my Catholicism is like a cakewalk compared to that) and she said something the other day which I thought was pretty awesome: she said (I don’t always understand exactly what she says with her accent) she doesn’t want to ask God for things because he’s already too busy with so many people and things much more important than our very minor issues. That’s the kind of caring thought I ascribe to. That’s the use of saints, btw, you don’t gum up the channel because there are other channels.

Prayer is a directly related to faith. Prayer is the vehicle to faith and hope and solace. Prayer in and of itself doesn’t accomplish anything tangible…which is why it’s usually about people’s well-being, for guidance, that kind of thing…not selfish, materialistic crap. Like a car or the lottery, though it doesn’t stop me from hoping. I don’t pray about it because that’s dumb, but haha. My mom used to work with a woman who truly believed and her church believed that if she asks God for money, he will give her money. She’s thinking cash. If you read the Bible at all, any mention of giving people cash? Hah. My mom eventually argued with her and she stopped believing that, but it just gives you insight to how people view religion. To me, that’s step one to religious extremism.  Things always work out anyways, and that “money, riches” you want will be given to you in some form but in order to receive, you need to what? Give. Do something that will make you eligible to provided for. You can’t just sit there and expect things to come to you on an conveyor belt while you watch TV, right? Faith can accomplish amazing things. No matter what religion you are or have. Even faith in humanity or life or time or existence. Because faith is hope. THAT is what Christianity is, btw. Love, faith and hope. Simple as that.

On the other end of the spectrum I freaking HATE another one of my friends on Facebook. I only know her through dog interests and I decided that aside from that I would greatly dislike her. Anyways, she’s constantly saying how glad she’s not religious and downing religion in every way. Which is fine in and of itself because that’s her prerogative and her right to believe whatever. However, it happens a lot with her and that’s getting annoying too. She could easily say that in a different way without bringing religion into it. These days I’m almost afraid to post anything regarding God or Christianity and God-forbid Catholicism, because it’s so taboo now and you’re immediately placed in the sheeple/weak-minded/anti-science category. So I stay away from it for the most part. So why is it then OK to shame, degrade, and flame?

Obviously I am really in my fighting emotional state. It’s like I have a chip on my shoulder.

Today I planned to do non-electronic things like crafty stuff and cleaning my room because I really am allergic to something really bad in this room. I would love to start something crafty again. Too bad I can’t afford anything. My ultimate goal with sewing is to make an Assassin’s Creed costume. That would be so cool. A Marth costume would be awesome too! Because I can make the armor and everything! This is when I wish I had more space to work with belt sanders and a workspace in a basement or a garage or something where I can spread out. What would I do with all of these costumes, though? Eh just the joy of making it is good for me.

A friend posted something in the Richmond Times Dispatch about how binge TV watching is ruining your life. Since my late teens, I made the conscious decision to not watch continuous TV shows or anime. I can trace it all back to spending an entire summer absolutely obsessed with Sailor Moon Super Stars. From the moment I woke up to when I had to pull myself away for dinner. Then I’d watch well into the night and wake up early and do it again. I was like a zombie. And then when it was over I was depressed, like, clinically depressed, for at least a week thereafter, looking for fanfiction, fan art, anything, to keep it going. When I finally shook it, it all hit me hard, the reality of what had just happened. I have an obsessive tendency. No more anime. No TV shows like that. I mean, when you’re binge watching, what are you accomplishing? Absolutely nothing at all. You really are like a zombie. No brain activity, no movement, a lot of times, you don’t even want to go to the bathroom. The movie tells you exactly everything: how the characters look, sound, act, how the world looks. Books do the same thing, but you are allowed the freedom and brain function of deciding and imagining on your own those details. Have you ever watched a live action and THEN read the book? You can’t get the image and nuances of the actor our of your head. The imagination is gone. Or even the other way around when you watch the movie and you’re like, that’s not how I pictured that at all. This is why I stick with books and video games. Video games mostly fall into a middle category where you’re told what things look like, but you control what is happening in your own time, and give an even more expansive story if you care to do side quests that expound on characters. They’re interactive books, at least the story driven ones. Some of the decision games allow you to shape the game to you liking. With movies and the episodic TV shows, I feel like I’ve wasted hours and days of my life with nothing to show for it. Books expand the mind because you used it. Video games increase hand-eye coordination and you still feel like you accomplished something. Movies leave me feeling like, yeah that was a good story, but I still feel like I could’ve been doing something.

Don’t get me wrong, I like movies, but it depends on what and with whom. Same with TV. I still love watching TV because it’s a good unwind, but I like shows where the episodes can stand on their own. Cops. Animal Cops. NCIS. Criminal Minds. And I love cartoons. Mostly for movies and TV shows I like tasteful things, though. I don’t like my mind turning into mush…unless it’s making me laugh. A good laugh. A silly laugh. Not a malevolent derision kind of funny. Also, I do watch anime, but only video game based ones. Those usually only have about 12-15 episodes. The OAVs. I guess manga fall into the mid-range too of the scale of brain activity.

Ugh. This is probably why no one likes me. Too complicated. Too critical. Too strange.

 

 

Assassin’s Creed Embers

Ugh. I should be sleeping right now but I made the mistake of watching this movie after finally beating Assassin’s Creed Revelations (and therefore clearing The Ezio Collection). So much about it was subpar to me and all in all I would have been perfectly happy (if not happier) having never have seen it at all. Especially the ending.

And the internet seems to agree with me. Except that I’m about 5 or 6 years late.

First off the graphics are really bad. My very first reaction was, this is going to suck. I don’t usually care about graphics because it’s the story and gameplay that matter to me but especially after playing through the 3 games this was just painful. Certainly doesn’t add anything to the movie…

How did it go from this…

…To these…?

But I kept watching. Thankfully they kept his voice, phew! It starts off well enough: Ezio is old now, trying to salvage what time he has left in life. He’s struggling to find the words to some letter he is writing. He has two young children all at the ripe age of 60 something…very old considering the time in history that this is…it’s amazing his kids don’t have autism or some such disability. Sofia doesn’t seem to have aged at all (though I’m not sure how old she was in Revelations) which means that retirement has not been nice to Ezio…though he seems happy despite a nasty cough. Pneumonia? Lung cancer? Probably pneumonia…though given how many ancient, sealed crypts he’s unsealed and broken into, it’s amazing he hadn’t died of some nasty mold years ago. Perhaps lung cancer it is.

Robbers? Nah. Templars and all enemies I’ve made will never find me here! You know…just the last of the Auditore’s. Da Firenze.

I’m grumpy, ok?

Then all of the sudden some young girl assassin from China shows up and almost wanders off with his daughter. Doesn’t she know not to go off with strangely robed foreigners?? Good job fathering, Ezio. He gets all grumpy and mean all of the sudden and it’s explained that he has given up the assassin life and wants no part of it in an effort to protect his family. Revelations ends with him stripping off his hidden blades and sword. That was annoying to me to see and completely unrealistic in spite of the relatove realism and logic of the rest of games so far. Even Altair understood that. By the time Revelations ended Ezio was so famous and infamous to Assassins and Templars and governments alike you honestly expected to live in a Tuscan villa outside Firenze, his hometown, without anyone ever finding you? Even if he’d dropped the symbolic weapons, I think it highly unlikely a lifelong killer would refuse to stock weapons in such an open and defenseless place like a villa. What about robbers and marauders? Bottom line is he was doomed from the get go of his retirement. He’d surely have known people would find him and come for him so he’d have a contingency plan ESPECIALLY given he had a family to protect. It doesn’t make sense.

Oh strange oriental female in robed costume and neato weapons wants to walk off with me? Sure let’s go!

On to the Chinese assassin. Interesting. But rather improbable. She didn’t even have a bag or supplies. A straight up foreigner expecting to live off the goodness of strangers? Haaaaa. And she travelled all the way from China, lost her mentor along the way, to meet grumpy denial Ezio and ask him to teach her how to save the Chinese Assassins. Chinese Templars follow her. Fight scenes. Old man still got some moves. He just tells her to love people. Then she just leaves and he gives her some mysterious item in a box but tells her not to use it unless she gets lost. Huh. Very anticlimactic. Apparently Chinese Assassins have hidden blades on their feet and not their wrists. Sucks. You travel on foot and horse from China to Italy and end up with basically nothing. 

But! That was the jumpstart he needed to find the right words to write in his letter. His coughing is very bad now and he insists on going into the city with his wife and daughter (wonder what they did with his son…no evidence of a nanny or anything…). He’s very tired and weak so they sit him on a bench and wander off to buy things. He watches them happily and then a strange young man crosses in front of his vision and sits down. This is where it gets weird. The young man complains about the ugly women here and how he wants to go to Roma instead of dumb old Firenze. Understandable. Youth. Ezio mumbles that the city isn’t the problem and starts into a fit of coughing. The young man grabs Ezio’s hands and smiles creepily at him. There’s this drawn out exchange of eyes and creepy smiling and the guy has this scar extending from his mouth. Ezio, to me, seems scared of the man. Then he claps Ezio on the shoulder and gets up. Ezio manages a small smile, looking at his daughter and dies much to the horror of the girl and his wife. But he didn’t die with a smile…I got the notion is was painful. 

Creepiest guy of the year award

Creepy eyes

Here’s the hand grabbing part. My initial inpression was he stabbed Ezio!! Omg!!!

I was…confused and shocked. Who was that young man? What was with the weird eyes and smiling exhange? Did he poison Ezio? That was my immediate conclusion, that the Templars got him in the end. The internet was ABLAZE with confusion and questions and arguments. Ubisoft officially said it was just a young representation of Ezio in his past juxtaposed with his aged self. However, the strange hand grab, the scary grinning, the fear in Ezio’s eyes, and the suddeness of his death, plus the unsettled looking pose on the bench as opposed to Altair’s peaceful looking death…all to me pointing yo foul play. I mean, the graphical quality as I’d mentioned was pretty bad so maybe the grinning was supposed to be a genuine grin? And the eyes, same thing? But the scar…and most compelling yet is this: 

Blatantly in the frame a red cross just barely noticeable. I claim foul play, no matter what Ubisoft says. Plus that guy is freaking ugly and since everyone else was depicted as good looking or cool (the ones fighting the Chinese assassin) I say there was a reason for his ugliness. That death was just too quick and his face too scared/knowing. 

It doesn’t matter in the end, because no matter how Ezio died (I guess a heart attack?) and I agree with some people’s thoughts that since Desmond, Connor, Edward, etc is decended from Ezio, that Ezio’s daughter became an assassin to probably avenge the death of her father which she possibly witnessed. Because otherwise how would she have known to become one? Ezio made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with assassins anymore and it’s very highly doubtful he would wish it on his daughter since he despised the life he led so much. 

Then again I guess she needn’t had become an assassin to pass down the genes…

Well. The truth is out there! Or not. Because nothing is true and everything is permitted.

I was glad to be done with the Ezio storyline though, because doggone it all he had 3 games to himself. Altair had only 1 and some screen time in Revelations. He was paramount to the Order, unlike Connor or Edward, influencing change, spreading the creed and giving focus to the assassins, but man he really did need that rest. Leave it to the young people.

I still wish I hadn’t seen that movie, but I feel better now.