Monday and yesterday had me on my vacation high. Nothing fazes me during that time and things just roll off my back. Started coming down on the commute home yesterday when I finally got mad at someone. It’s amazing how every single time I forget about what it’s like to come back to driving up here. Especially during the school year. Everyone’s crazy, terrible, inconsiderate. I was trying to walk into the grocery store, mindful that around here instead of waiting for you, it’s everyone for themselves and they try to “beat” you so they don’t have to wait which translates to 10 points for running that pedestrian down just so that you can later see them in the store, so I stop and wait as 2 cars come barreling from either direction. They both end up stopping for me, but one so close into the crosswalk and impatiently waving me along. Might as well have just gone. They can’t even be patient, patiently. Defeats the purpose of doing a courtesy when it’s begrudgingly. It just puts into perspective how much stress it is to live around here; little stresses, but it’s constant. It turns you into an insensitive jerk too, because you have to be to survive, even if it’s not your nature.
Maybe that’s why I ate so much on the trip. LOL. I was relaxed. And, yes, I truly was relaxed. Slept well, hung out, no worries about work or traffic commuting, or being anywhere at a certain time. It’s crazy, too, when I realized how being relaxed opens up my brain. It’s like stress of work focuses it too much, like looking down a narrow hallway straight ahead, while relaxation (TRUE relaxation) broadens my perspective. All of the sudden I noticed that words come to me much easier, I’m not nearly as negative at work, looking to the good of people more than before. Less pinched-feeling overall. In the last 2 days I’ve been back to work I noticed people saying things to me that before the trip I’d be all gossipy and negative about too, but I’m less inclined to think that way now and they’ve noticed (body reading at it’s finest).
Won’t last much longer, I’m afraid. I do have a 4-day weekend coming up since I worked on Monday, which means I can extend my good mood a little longer, but alas, I’ll be back by next week. Sigh. This. This is the exact feeling and lifestyle I miss. People are nice, laid back, and considerate. I can shrug my local persona and just let my natural inclinations out. It’s a happier life with lower blood pressure overall. You just forget about it until you have it again.
Sigh. Gotta put my extra skin back on soon. Boo.
In other news, fall is coming! Or is it already here? The tree is coming down on Friday if it doesn’t storm too badly. I’m excited! When we got home the entire top of the tree was bald, and brown leaves in a massive pile on our deck. None of the other trees look like that. This one has given up. I still think it was Gable’s nitrogen poisoning causing all of it. Also why I can’t grow grass back there. Dogs…
LOVE shopping for fall décor and costumes and such. Speaking of which, gotta get moving on the costumes! Oh man, that’s another thing I miss! There are fabric places in the south!!! There is literally ONE place around here that sells fabric. Why? Because people just don’t have time for stuff like that.
You know, I read somewhere that people who are always “bored” and are always booking their lives full of events tend to have lower IQ’s, because those with higher IQ’s tend to think about things more. Not sure how accurate that is, but I do know that I hate overbooking my schedule, or booking it at all. It always amazes me when I meet people (they’re everywhere and I’m related to some) who literally can’t sit still. It’s like they’ll die if they stop moving. Those people are always wound up and have no clue how to relax. If they had to sit still in quiet for 30 minutes, they’d freak out. Anxiety. I’ve learned as I get older, how precious it is to find someone who is comfortable in their own skin and comfortable with their own spirit. Meditation is just that, isn’t it? But there’s fake mediation and there’s true meditation. Mindfulness, whatever you want to call it. Be comfortable with yourself. Believe me, I had lots of practice with that this vacation and I’ve always loved it my entire life, so I’m no stranger to it. Drove up and down all by myself with my dogs. And what is being at the beach if not relaxing mindfulness?