RAGE

Friday! Well that came quick!

I spent yesterday morning in a rage because Idiot at work makes me SO ANGRY. Actually it was an unfortunate chain of events.

  1. My first patient was strangely grumpy (I’m starting to see why people like to see the same hygienist every time they come as opposed to different ones…I’ve been getting back some of mine that had been seeing other hygienists and they all exhibit the same mannerisms that I’m not used to: usually chill patients are suddenly nervous, especially when I come to certain areas in their mouths, they tremble a little when I’m working, they’re impatient and intolerant. This is all in opposition to the ones that have remained on my schedule with me) and nervous. That makes my life much more difficult when patients don’t trust me and don’t readily give me full reign of their mouth. 
  2. My doctor was taking her sweet time. What’s the difference here? She does this often and it annoys the heck out of me. However…
  3. Idiot was busy doing her chair jump habit which meant that I have no extra chair to go to. Things were going OK because our 2 patients were in the waiting room together still.
  4. My patient’s wife was already being seen. I hate when couples come together. I really do. When one spouse is seen, it makes the other one really impatient, a what-about-me mentality. Stress level and anger level greatly rising.
  5. 15 minutes in, doctor has JUST started doing the exam. 
  6. Cue Idiot who despite the fact that she’s getting an exam done in another room goes to get her next patient back because the assistant is too nice and always cleans her room even though she’s constantly using both rooms. That leaves just my patient in the waiting room.
  7. Finally done with my exam, but now they’re standing there, just talking. 
  8. 20 minutes late. I run into the room and start speed breaking down. Very upset now because no one has any respect for my schedule in the least. And who’s going to clean MY room, huh? I have to do it myself.
  9. I head to the back and ready myself to come back, since I always make my tray while waiting, I go to grab it. IT’S NOT FREAKING THERE. Guess who decided to take it? AGAIN. Rage level is almost at breaking point. I grab the tray that’s not mine and run for it.
  10. I run back to my chair. My previous patient and doctor have made it to the door but are still talking. Clean clean clean, make sure to slam as many things as possible. Trying to vent as much of my anger and quickly as possible before I bring back the next patient.
  11. I go to get him, but my patient is STILL THERE AND BLOCKING THE DOOR.
  12. She opens it and continues to talk to my doctor. I see my next patient who has gotten up and is about to ask the front desk about his appointment. I raise my voice above my prior patient’s back and call him back before he can say anything. I’m pretty sure it comes out as a bark and a command.
  13. He strolls back and I’m struggling to bring down the rage inside me. We start the appointment quickly and luckily for me he does something unintentionally hilarious and it helps me calm down.
  14. Idiot has been spouting idiocy nonstop the entire appointment. I don’t have time to get more upset with it, but it keeps my anger and rage simmering. My patient is a great patient. Large mouth, easy to see.
  15. Finally I’m almost done, but the floss that was on the tray I very rarely ever use because it gets stuck on some people. Unluckily for me, I manage to fray it and get it stuck in 2 of his teeth. Anger and frustration return instantly and I’m unable to maintain my relative calm attitude. I carefully solve the problem, and then go back with regular floss and remove the frayed pieces stuck.
  16. OK, done, finally. Idiot is still not doing work at all, just yakking. I’m about to leave and wash my hands of it all because THANK GOD I made it through without killing anyone, when my patient turns to me and asks my name. Not an uncommon question, so I tell him. Then. Then. He asks me the questions I LOATHE, DESPISE, HATE people asking me: “No, what’s your REAL name?” I give him a blank stare and a “huh?” So he asks again, “What’s your Chinese name?” I knew it. I must have given him a withering look (I have my mask on so you can only see my eyes) because he starts to falter a bit. ONCE AGAIN, I’m struggling to control my anger (i can feel my hands shaking and my chest is going to burst) as I respond with a shrug that it’s my real name. So then he asks once more, “what’s your family name?” I pause again for effect and the snarl behind my mask. “Oh you mean my last name?” He says yes so I respond and  get the HELL OUT. With speed.

I am SO ANGRY so I find my closest target, friend coworker and start griping to her about it. Apparently I was getting loud because she told me my patient was looking at me and then told me to go eat cheesecake. I rush into the breakroom, find my other coworker and start venting again, this time I could care LESS who hears me, in fact I want her to hear me, the entitled ass cow. Another coworker arrives and they manage to calm me down by volunteering food. I start thinking about doughnuts and fries and instantly I’m calm. Crazy, huh? I was fine the entire rest of the day.

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Dislike

I dislike. Loathe. Dread. Weddings. I feel strongly about this. Especially now that 2 of my co-workers are engaged it’s really irritating that I’m always hearing about it. I’m not even sure exactly why I hate them, but there is just no doubt that I quite despise weddings. 

The planning. Everything leading up to them. The dresses. The people. The speeches. The presents. The attention. The money. Going to them. I just abhor weddings. 

Call me a humbug if you’d like. A buzzkill. A killjoy (my patient told me I was one today). Doesn’t change my opinion or my mind.

Maybe it’s what a hoopla weddings have become. Money pits. And for what? Free gifts from people? Attention? Oh look at me? I feel like it’s all just for show. Is there any meaning amymore to them? Brides wear white for purity. Exactly how many brides these days are actually pure? For tradition’s sake? 

You could say I’m jaded. You could say I’m jealous, that just because I don’t currently feel unbridled love for someone right now that I say this. Well, yes, I am jaded. I’m cynical. I’m scarred. But you can also translate that as realistic. When I was in the throes of love and passion, I still did not wish for a wedding. I just don’t like them. I get what they represent. I get that they are celebrations of a supposedly lasting legal commitment in the relationship of a couple. I have no issue with the ceremony or the celebration. 

I just don’t like weddings. Period. 

Now try to tell anyone that and see what kind of reaction I get. 

Livid

So. Guess who finally got back to me about my email? Only about 3 weeks later. On her own birthday. And just as I had anticipated, it was just as scathing and rollercoastery as I thought it would be, as well as somewhat mirroring my own basic email outline.

As I keep telling everyone, you have to understand my sister. People keep giving me advice on what to do, how to approach things, from the beginning, middle and currently. That’s great, but it only works if the other person is overly reasonable and objective. In this case, it’s not. She’s easily offended and becomes defensive almost instantly, lashing out and making a general fuss before switching emotions altogether. I only know because 1) I grew up with her and 2) duh, she’s related to me. I’ve spent much of my life trying to rein in and control my tendency toward those Dark Blood outbursts. In my opinion I’ve succeeded over the years, for the most part, in keeping things rather neutral at least initially and in in person, waiting to vent later. It’s very helpful when dealing with overly emotional patients as it is my job after all to deal with fearful, anxious persons day in a day out, all with various manifestations of the same emotion. Not to mention my failed relationship was rife with it. The best way, I’ve found in dealing with it all is to try and remain as objective as possible. Thanks to dating my ex, I’ve had some good training on how to approach a relationship argument, the choice of words, mindset, etc to keep it from blowing out of proportion as possible. In dealing with patients, it’s the exact same. Depending on my mood I may let some emotion in, but it’s all measured to the right amount as to jostle but not tip the bucket. There are nice things to say, then there are inciting things to say. The hardest part, of course, is to brush aside the pride, consider their side of it, agree with what should be agreed with, then get my own point across. By lowering yourself, you’ll be able to convince the other relax their shield arm.

Ironically, being a neutral 3rd party can be even more inciting than being emotional. Why does that infuriate people? You know what my siblings used to tell me when I was little? They said I had no logic and no common sense. I was purely booksmart and that was it. I dunno, I think I’m pretty reasonable. I’ll listen to you. I’ll think about your side of it. Then I’ll make a decision.

She accused me of many things, but what got me, was that she said I know nothing about her. Hah. You’d be surprised, sister. I know lots about you, but you know what’s more than knowing? Action. You can be all sorts of things, know all sorts of things, have all sorts of awards and accolades. What speaks higher than all of that combined, is action. You know something? Great. Prove it me. Utilize it.

It’s absolutely amazing the stuff that was in that email. So amazing, in fact, that I spent the next hour yelling about it to anyone in the house who would listen. Un-freaking believable.

Then again, I got exactly what I expected. It’s not uncommon especially in this day and age. People can’t have healthy conversation when every social media post or even newscast is about inciting emotional outrage.

Now that I’ve calmed down a bit to be able to dissect it all, it’s interesting how many of the wrong things she employed when it comes to argument/discussion. I hope she doesn’t use that on her husband. That’s how you create rifts. Like the one between us right now. Though, honestly, I don’t actually feel much emotion about it all at this very point in time. I was busy being furious earlier, but once it’s done, it’s gone now. Now I still have that throbbing resentment that’s been in me all this time, but that’s about it. Almost robotic. If she wants to stay in that Dark Blood pool of not-letting-things-go, then more power to her, but I’m not like that anymore. I try very hard not to let it get me down any longer. I may feel one way about a person, as survival would have it, but I do try and see redeeming factors in people. It’s just those like Idiot at work who make it almost impossible to think nicely about a person, but you know, if she has a good point, I’m not about to refute it just because I dislike her. If she has a point, she has a point. Doesn’t make me like her more.

That’s one thing I like to think I made an impact on my ex with: not devolving into emotional breakdown and pointless screaming matches. Especially when everyone’s egos are at stake (cue the eyeroll). It was like that at first, passionate arguments, but eventually it became very understanding on both sides, as we tried to work things through. Obviously it didn’t work, but at least we didn’t have full on rage matches. And when I told him it was over for good, I didn’t want to leave it petty and stupid, so I wished him a happy and peaceful life. It wasn’t sarcastic, it was true and heartfelt. If he took it as sarcastic, then I feel bad for him because then it is indeed true that he knew nothing about me at all.

My mom is taking it all rather hard, though. She thinks it’s all her fault. It’s not. My sister should be more cognizant of people other than herself. I don’t know if that will ever change, given that it’s the major downfall of my dad. That and being able to set aside that ego to see the truth. Maybe it will now that she has to think about her son. Not to say that my ego is tiny, haaa because it’s like a hot air balloon. But I try hard to swallow it and at least consider other people’s feelings. In the end, though, who’s losing the most here and who’s gaining the most? Think about it.

Sister Trouble

Remember how when this whole business started I hoped and prayed that it wouldn’t strain our relationship? Well. There you go.

So last week I sent another e-mail to her about moving out. Mind you this is October. I sent the e-mail back in January telling her she had one year to leave. It wasn’t a nice email but then again I didn’t mean it to be because guess what? It’s, well, October. 10 months from the original notification. While yes I did tell her that she had until January, there has been plenty of time to move out. This was before even the whole baby thing. When they came up and announced they were having a baby back in April/Mayish, I took the opportunity, in person, to recommend they really think about moving before the baby arrived because there’s no way anyone would want go move with an infant around. Their response? Oh but we don’t want to change doctors. We’ll move right after the baby. Already a dumb decision. Then I started on to recommend if they can’t afford a house yet then at least rent. Oh no, we won’t rent. It’s a waste of money. We want a garage. So on and so forth with excuses and unrealistic wants. “I only want to move once.” Stupid things like that. At the time I had given the 1 year time frame and I was seriously regretting having been so generous but hey, I had stuff I still needed to do before selling anyways.

Well. They bought new cars. One was practical, a RAV4, the other completely dumb luxury hybrid. A want, not a need. He drives a car given to him for work why would he need an expensive car? They have no money for a down payment right? What about the baby? Student loans? A mortgage??? Then they wanted a dog. What are you going to do, subsist off ramen and pancakes? Owning a home is freaking expensive. Cell phone bills. Utilities. Personal property tax. Internet. Things go wrong. HOA fees. Owning a dog is even more unbelievably expensive and we’re not just talking money. Time. Patience. They need food. Vet bills. What are they going to do, dump the dog on me when they want to go somewhere? Dump the baby on my mom? They have no right to be picky about anything at all. They only sometimes pay me anything to live there and even then it’s not even half of the mortgage.

Do they have no consideration for others? How am I related to her???

I ask them to do me favors since I’m not there. For instance, I asked her to do the fertilizer for me since I already bought it but didnt have time to do it. Her answer (to my face here) was, “no you’re going to have to do it.” I asked her from the very beginning multiple times, in person (to both of them), in email, in text, to call someone about the siding. I will pay for it. She says, oh yeah, or doesn’t even acknowledge it. He says, “yeah yeah yeah I know.” Nothing happens. I asked him to do the mulch in the back for me. His mother does it instead. His only job is to mow the lawn. Now my neighbor is doing it. I HATE being indebted to people. I dont care how nice he is (and he is). What THE HELL does my brother in law do. Seriously. I buy a new fridge like a good landlord the day it went busto (which I still think was their fault but that’s not the point here) and all they do is complain about it. I don’t even know if they change the air filters for the HVAC once a month.

You know, I felt bad, ok, when he was being a deadbeat and they were subsisting solely on my sister’s wages. They had to buy generic everything. I felt awful. I asked him a couple times why he didnt apply for a part-time job at least and he would say boredly, “Oh, I applied at Best Buy….” Is that it? Just one place. Now he has a job. Ok then, take charge of your family and chop chop let’s go. Nope. Lots of excuses and I still don’t see much to show from it all. Just poor buying practices.

I really feel like I’m being taken advantage of by my own sister and they’re very ungrateful. It’s not my house anymore. It doesn’t feel like it. The only place that feels like mine is the backyard which I love so much. Heck, none of us want to go down there anymore. We used to go all the time and now it’s just excuses to not go. I hoped so badly when everyone warned me in the beginning (friends, coworkers, patients, relatives) about this arrangement that it would never become this because she’s my own sister. God knows that I would never dream of doing this. If I was down on my luck and needed to, you know I’d be grateful and out of their hair as quickly as I could. I just thought that because I was helping her out that she would think of me too. In the beginning it was mutually beneficial but not anymore. Hasn’t been for a year now and the more they make poor decisions and act entitled the more resentment builds within me. It shouldn’t have been this way. Now I know to never rely on them ever if I can help it.

They’re stubborn, demanding, and unreasonable given that they literally can’t afford to be.

And now she’s upset at me although she has no right to be. They have no leg to stand on. And she wants me to be able to talk to her? The one who is so easily offended by everything? Yeah that went well the last time we were in person. They told me they’d get a realtor in September. Guess what darling, it’s not September anymore.

The resentment keeps growing and of course their birthdays and the holidays are creeping up. She hasn’t graced me with images of the baby in a week now. Ooo she’s mad alright. But my mom is still getting them.

She knows I’m right. Even if they won’t and can’t admit it. Any 3rd party can see it. The only people who can’t are them.

I said it before, but I’m tired of taking care of people and getting nothing in return. When is someone going to take care of me? I’m grateful to my mom and brother for their help and support. I guess it’ll always just be me. At least I’ll always have myself. These one-sided relationships are not all that fun.

I’m not looking for repayment. I don’t want their money even if I’m in debt myself. Heck, that’s why I agreed to all of this in the first place: to help them out financially. I just want to be able to finally think about my own future again. Great you started a family. So act like one and take responsibility. Let my life move forward too.

It’s petty, negative and depressing to deal with this. Can’t wait until it’s finally over.

Weekend

This past weekend? Well, it was heralded by coming home from work to a very hot house. Which meant…wait for it…NO A/C!!!! It might be fall now, but it feels like summer and will continue to do so until the end of the month. So I get home and tired and start arguing with my mom about not servicing the unit which I’ve suggested and she knew about for years now, season after season. We yell back and forth, me knowing that I shouldn’t have said that and she knowing she should have indeed done it, because it’s not my house after all and yet I’m living in it. WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO LITERALLY DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE. Everyone else is afraid to? I DON’T GET IT. I have to do stuff for my grandparents because my uncle and my brother don’t want to and then fight over responsibility until I just get fed up and do it because the only person losing here are my grandparents. I don’t even know anything, THEY do, they just don’t want to be the one responsible for it all. Then at home, not my house and I actually go to work on weekdays, still have to do everything. Once again, all the other adults are too afraid. Then in MY HOUSE which I’m not even living in, I still have to do everything and can’t rely on them for a single task because they literally just don’t do it. Straight up. But that’s another rant that will make me angry to post about.

Well. I ended up feeling bad. She called the guy who installed the HVAC and I already knew he wouldn’t respond because I couldn’t find him anywhere online, so I started looking up other people. By this time it was so late it would’ve been worthless to call anyone, so we settled down to endure it through the night. It’s nothing new, we endured this back then in much worse conditions like dead summer. We as humans can adapt. I left the window open and curtains open the entire night. The sound of crickets, traffic and neighbors talking filled my ears, but that’s not what was horrible about it. The humidity was present, but once again, not extreme as it is autumn now. I usually have to have some sort of covering on me at night, but I found myself spread-eagle on the bed with nuthin. It didn’t feel bad. Until I woke up around 2am because Gable was dying of heat. He was breathing hard and heavy right at my feet, so I had to get up and set up a fan for him. Took a little while but he finally tried to sleep. That’s when I realized that as humans with no fur we can take it, but dogs (and these are greyhounds with very little fur) can’t. Plus, they’re both elderly. I proceeded to have bad dreams (ie a cat peeing on my face because I didn’t feed it) until I awoke. Thankfully it got much cooler toward morning to the point where I thought the A/C had kicked back on. Took the dogs to the park because I knew we didn’t have air (where dumb people with little children were hanging around. One dad in particular let his toddler chase after my large, strange dogs from the bridge all the way through the parking lot where I’d parked far out until I got to my car. I guess he only got the kid because he was afraid I’d kidnap him. This is why I don’t go to the park late or do anything late on weekends) and then back home to call the A/C guy. He came rolling in around afternoon time and proceeded to not only diagnose and fix the problem, but service the unit and take it upon himself to inspect our utility room, pointing out wrong and illegal things. He went above and beyond what I expected him to do. He explained things very well too which was the best part. Hallelujah for chemically treated air.

Took my mom the next day on a ride to a large Walmart where they sell fabric! Very excited to find another place with more fabric to choose from. In the end I did no sewing that day (did a little the day before, trying to keep the temperature down in the house) because I didn’t know how to do what my mom recommended and I am terrified of messing up the finished product. So I played Tales of Berseria the rest of the weekend. Man, let me tell you, there’s a reason why I don’t watch anime…I get caught up in stories and my obsessive tendencies take over.

 

Sleepy

But I’m waiting for my whitestrips to finish.

Every night when I’m lying here, and really, every day, I hear fire trucks on their way to calls. It always reminds me of the time about a year ago that just hearing the siren of a fire engine, not a police siren nor an ambulance siren, elicited from me a deep sorrow and grief, moving me almost instantly to tears. At the time, I didn’t understand why it happened all of the sudden, just that it did and it started in the pit of my stomach. I mentioned it to my ex and told him that I hoped that  nothing would ever happen to him to make me feel that way. I didn’t say it then, but the thought crossed my mind that it wasn’t so much that something would happen to him as happen to us. To me. I’d pushed it from my mind, but it was always there nagging at me. Call it a premonition or a glimpse into the future. A foreshadowing of events to come. Then again, I always knew what would happen to us, I just…played my part, hoping that it wouldn’t be. Always the pawn, always the puppet. Interestingly now the sound has no lasting effect on me. I no longer feel a deep sorrow at the sound. It makes me a little sad and brings back some memories, but aside from that, it affects me pretty much like it always has in the past.

Sometimes my “future sight” scares me. Sometimes it’s just a plain nuisance. I don’t think I can see the future so much as I can make a very good educated guess from the surrounding events and circumstances. I’m usually right too. However, a part of me suspects a possible inexplicable hand in all of this. I won’t divulge because people always think I’m crazy when I do. I tend to know what will happen, but I go with it anyways…hoping…always hoping…that maybe, just maybe it won’t turn out like that. What’s the point of knowing what will happen if you can’t do anything to stop it? Little things are insignificant and can be avoided, but the major events are never able to be avoided by me long. Sometimes, my impatience gets the better of me and I make it happen before – at least I think – than it’s supposed to which makes for some serious stress on all sides, but it doesn’t matter because it changes nothing about the outcome. Then there are times when no matter how I know what will happen, I’m still surprised by it because it’s sudden.

Going back to the firefighter thing, it really bugs me now when people mention what heroes firemen are. While, yes, running into a burning and collapsing building, risking your life for the sake of others while everyone else runs away demands a ridiculous amount of respect, I don’t think it’s much more significant than police work or military work or teachers or even surgeons (though one can argue that their pay is several leagues higher than any public servant). Call me biased, but I think their work pales in comparison to police business. Most likely it’s because I have insight now into their lives. That one probationary fireman jaded all firefighters for me forever. He clued me into how sexist all fire departments are, filled with macho, pig-headed men who make and have chauvinistic comments, views and actions. Also, they have very poor diets for people who always need to be in shape. How poorly female firefighters are treated. He was telling me stories once and he was ranting about how dumb drivers are (and we all know this, so I agree, really). Per as usual, I try to temper out the rant by saying that people freeze when they’re afraid and there are elderly, autistic, etc drivers out there. I’m thinking of my grandparents, my mom with her vision problem, and countless patients that I’m like, omg they DROVE here??? for various reasons. Not to mention the bad traffic around here. The point is, I just wanted to remind him that people are people. He gets upset and says he doesn’t care if they’re disabled, old, autistic or nothing. When the fire engine has it’s siren on you need to get out of the way. While he is right, the way he said it really rubbed me the wrong way and I hope that’s not how other firefighters think. I always had this picture in my head that all first responders were cool, calm, collected and considerate of others, since their goal after all is the rescue and preservation of life. Instead all I could see from his stories and insight, were stressed out men wasting their time with repeat offenders and obnoxious crap. It was disheartening to them and to me. And on top of it all, when did the life of one person become more important than the lives of the rest of the population? You save one, but jeopardize the lives of countless others as you race to the hospital for this one person?

I dunno. I am so jaded about it all now. The firefighter career is, for me, forever ruined. It’s not worth the stress and lack of time, and the politics. Maybe a fireman with a better mindset, more optimism, better ability to think, more humble. They all seem so righteous. I understand that the pressure is high and the subject matter is psychologically tough. Why make it harder on the people than it has to be? The mind games and the bullying…you’re supposed to be a team. Buh. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

I think I left them on too long. My teeth are pounding.

I need to plug in my laptop

But it’s all the way downstairs….

Just finished scrolling through my newsfeed which I’ve been trying not to do as much of in Fbook for several reasons including the skew of social media (or any media really), dumb people’s comments and click bait spurring people into emotions. I mean, given social media and the life we live in now, running your life on pure emotion is encouraged, practiced, and honed to perfection. It’s important to care about people and things, but just like everything else in life, there’s a limit to how much to care. Too little and you become selfish and inhumane, too much and you become incredibly easy to be offended and outraged and jump to conclusions. Mix the two together and it doesn’t equal out, in fact, I feel like that’s what the internet is. Nature strives for balance, and humans are not immune, so in our own sometimes twisted logic, we “balance” our negativity with “reason” or “logic.” Now…is that logic sound? You can convince yourself of anything, really. Many times when I *shudder* read internet comments I find that half of the people merely read the headline or title but not the article itself and yet still wish to express their uneducated and uninformed opinions. This is already evident in product reviews. There was a funny “Amazing World of Gumball” episode yesterday parodying just this about the internet. People use their emotions to be outraged about a topic without fully understanding the gist of it, then when they are refuted, or their fallacy is pointed out, they pull on emotions again instead of stopping to think and admit that, yes, I was wrong to not probe more deeply into the matter. Now if that if it had been an in person argument, the internet flaming tirades would never have made it that far, because we are in-person, well, people, and missing that defensive, face-shielding barrier of the internet. I’m not even talking anonymity, just the disconnect and inability to read body and tonal language.

Hah…I should know. My failed relationship was 70% faceless, emotion-based, internet interaction, complete with misinterpretation, and volatile, impersonal arguments and comments that had it been in person would never have been said or felt. Interestingly, there was a development of persuasion and neutrality as it went on to prevent such volatile behavior, but that ultimately backfired too, because neutrality or perceived indifference can be (and was) even more painful than passionate flames.

According to this article I just read, an expert on communication reports that only 7% of communication is verbal. 50-some percent is body language and the rest is tonal. Well, there you go. Just backing up my argument with numbers. And staggering numbers at that. Even I was surprised at how little the verbal portion encompasses and I’m all about reading body cues. No wonder we failed and no wonder the internet flame wars will never end.

Speaking of which, this month is 5 months from my breakup date. It feels like it has been a year at least, but I’ve only hit 5 months. Guh. There was a cute new patient at work the other day about my age. He was half-Japanese, intelligent, calm, and judging by his body language, interested in me. He studied my ring-less finger, was unable to make eye contact with me for too long, and would steal glances at my face/eyes as I was working. I have to admit that my heart was racing a little too and feeling more giddy than usual, but I kept my professionalism because it is unethical for a professional to get into a relationship with a patient. It’s very much frowned upon, actually. And the kicker and somewhat proof I wasn’t making it up? As I lay him back to get started, he asked me if I was from around the area. Hey, man, that’s my line for my patients!! My patients never ask me that first and not that quickly that’s for sure. The funny thing is that I was about to ask him just that and it made me smile behind my mask. Damn professionalism. His calmness, intelligence, ability to admit that he doesn’t know something…that’s the kind of person I’m looking for. Oh well. He does live in MD, so eh. Sigh.