Scratch scratch

Itchy

Scratch all day and scratch all night
All these darn mosquito bites.
There’s just no way to settle the score
I walk outside and boom, there’re more.
Few others are as savory as me
Guess I’m just a delicacy.
Every year, it’s such a bummer
But without it, wouldn’t be summer.

~aowam

Figures the day I have to go back to work (had yesterday off) I slept reallllly well with favorable dreams. My extended weekend was unremarkable. Mostly video game playing (no costume stuff done at all….), entertained friend and her bf for a minor amount of time, took Gable to the vet, ate a ton of junk food, ferried my mom to her eye appointment, and spent money.

At least my patio debt is gone! WHOOOOO. Now the fridge debt is almost done too! On to the next one! Or better yet, let’s try and save something…though I might not be able to because my mom needs to go to the premier eye facility in the region…she has hereditary macular degeneration, specifically the cones are messed up in the macula. Explains why she confuses color and sees halos. They need to do gene therapy and no one takes her insurance, so basically we’ll be paying it out of pocket. I will be helping if it comes to it, which I’m sure it will. What this also means is that I have something really fun to look forward to! How exciting! This is an instance where I’d like more dark blood, thank you.

Stupid HOA never got back to us about the tree. If you don’t WANT to take it over email, then at least TELL US THAT. How idiotic. It’s still splitting at an alarming rate. More money there.

SO MUCH RAIN. This can’t be good for any of the plants (except grasses). Every week it’s rain rain rain. I’ve dumped water out of pots so often it’s crazy, and the spider popluation has exploded in response to the mosquito population.

Spent last night refreshing my information about the eye in the physiology textbook I bought myself last year. When my mom told me what they diagnosed, it amazed me how much I retained from my studies all those years ago. I really and truly was fascinated by the human body and how it works, so much of what I learned has remained with me all this time. I was able to explain to her in the car, what was going on, the difference between glaucoma and macular degeneration, what the macula is, etc.

It’s my creed: learn how things work and then you’ll be able to identify the problem, understand why something is going wrong and subsequently have an idea of how to fix them. Works for all aspects of life. That and my other creed of: Moderation in all things. That. Is learning. Always learn. Know. Analyze. Comprehend. But be willing to amend that information because research changes knowledge all the time.

Dangit. Time to go.

Advertisements

My love, a poem

My love for you will ne’er wane
Though we are split in twain
I told you that in our first days
And I always mean what I say.
Even now, a month apart
You still reside in my heart
The pain and torment persists
Though our break was my wish

I guess we were ne’er meant to be
In the eyes of the backwards see
The details, the nuances, the little bits
I’d always seen, yet refused to admit
But I remember our joyous times
The felicity when you were mine
Memories that from me won’t escape
Cherished and kept lest creeps in hate.

I wish you happiness in all you do
That’s all I ever wanted for you
Because you deserve it, you do, really
If you want, I’d help, in any capacity
Maybe one day I can defeat resentment
And just focus on my own contentment
But for now I’ll focus on the positive
Beatitude and peace, my prerogative.

Exhausted

I tells you. It doesn’t get much better than physical labor for my house. There’s something about accomplishing something by my own blood, sweat and tears. Starting with an idea and seeing it through myself. So much of this life we live in now it handed to us or automated. If we keep consuming and not creating or accomplishing, how can it continue?

Yardwork, crafting, cooking, training, growing plants, raising dogs, writing…

Getting my hands in the dirt, getting dirty, soil under my nails, being in the sunshine, covered in paint, working my body…

Going to sleep happy, satisfied and exhausted. Knowing that I did something and seeing/enjoying the results of it. To be proud of it, and to have others enjoy it too.

To me, this is life. This is being alive.

Me, my dogs, the earth, the sun.

I am one with nature, with my nature, with life itself. Like the birds, the bees, the grass, the plants.

If only I had someone I can share this amazement, this love of life with. Someone who understands it…no, not just understands it, comprehends it. Like my dogs, who can appreciate a good day of work and sun. Who can sit back on the grass, watch the clouds go by, appreciate the birds flying and the bug crawling on my foot, and ponder our existence in the great scheme of things. No words needed, just awe of living.

Then back inside to cool off and relax with some video games before heading out in search of foods.

I love this house, but our time is short. I’ll have to find another to love in the future.

Will I ever find my man?
Searching for one who can:
Enjoy a day of work and sun
And then when it’s said and done,
Sit back and relax on the grass
Observe as the clouds pass
Watch the birds fly and swoop
Note the bugs passing underfoot
Gaze upon the mountains in the distance
Ponder our role in this brief existence
Retire to bed feeling satisfied,
Forever in love with being alive

 

Hair, A Poem

Hair

When you’re long you’re so impractical,
But everyone thinks you’re beautiful.
You’re hot, heavy and use so much shampoo
You get in my eyes and irritate my face too.
When I had you, you were never down
What’s the point then keeping you around?

When you’re short you are intimidating
And other times you are humiliating
Not to me but to those who don’t know
The joy and liberation you bestow.
Driving with the windows down is a breeze
People are amusing when in a state of unease.

You’re just hair, but you affect us so,
For most of us, you’ll just continue to grow.
So what’s wrong with hair long or short
It’s mine to decide, and on my head to sport
Have what hair you like without fear of complaints
And strive to confound societal constraints.

An original poem written by me, aowam.

Robert Frost

I have no idea what I’m doing typing this tonight when I should have been asleep 30 minutes ago. I guess I’m still getting over my bout with whatever infection I had because yesterday I was just plain exhausted and even though I slept an hour earlier last night (and soundly too!) I still woke up exhausted. And let me tell you: you don’t want me driving or working with sharp instruments in your mouth when I’m sleepy. I couldn’t even see straight on the first 2 patients this morning. But I AM doing much better overall :) My boss told me that I have shown marked improvement since Tuesday and Wednesday.

OK. So yesterday I was raving to one of my bosses that I couldn’t stand that I can’t remember the words to my favorite poem: Fire and Ice by Robert Frost, so I went home and looked it up and attempted to memorize it, though I still mess up a few words. Anyways, I ended up finding another poem by him and I really liked it too!! I LIKE ROBERT FROST POEMS.

Dust of Snow

The way a crow
Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From a hemlock tree

Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued

~Robert Frost

It…it…it’s just SO COOL. Everything about it. The meaning however you want to interpret it, the rhyming, the meter, the simplicity, the picture. AUGH. I would analyze it here but I really must go to sleep. Maybe later.