Happy Year of the Dog!

Wear red! Be Happy! Eat good food! May you have a joyous and prosperous year!

I should speak ill of the departed, but that chicken/rooster had to have one last parting shot at me. Honestly I was waiting for it, but became complacent. All week I was trying to be careful because I knew the New Year was coming, but what better time to strike than at the very end? Right in my own neighborhood, less than 30 seconds from my house, I was involved in a car accident last evening coming home. After sitting in terrible rush hour traffic and getting out late from work, one wishy-washy girl later and CRRSSSH. I was really rather lucky, however because while the girl herself was literally hysterical, her dad was very calm, collected and fair. She wouldn’t talk to me at all and didn’t even jump out of her car to meet me, so I was awkwardly standing around by myself until her mom came out (it was right in front of her house). Nothing terrible, just scrapes and a dent on the side of my car. Unfortunately for me, however, no one would ever rule that accident in my favor and I’ll admit that it was due to assumptions and trust that this driver was going to do what she indicated she was going to do. Dash cam shows it, but all legal powers viewing the footage would agree it was most certainly my fault. No one wanted to call the cops, so we let our insurance handle it all. I ruminated it over all night and now, of course, my insurance is going to go up, I’m sure. Long and short of it? I was driving in behind her on our neighborhood road (I was super chill today which is not normal, but I was really tired), going rather slowly. She slowed down and signaled her intention to turn into her house driveway, so as she came to a stop (you can see on the dash cam that she had crossed the double yellow to turn), she’d left enough room that I could go around her in consideration of the rush hour line behind me. I made sure no one was coming up on the merge and proceeded to go around when for whatever reason she DIDN’T turn and decided to go straight, right into me. It was like a dream and for a little bit I wondered if this was at all real. Oh it was real enough when I opened the door and saw the dents and scratches. I tried to be as fair and impartial as possible, and while it is as I always say: nervous and wishy washy people are always the cause of accidents, not confident people, I should never had made any assumptions as to her intentions. The more I look at the footage, the more I realize what she was trying to do, which was make a U-turn to park on the street in front of her house. Explains why she went not only forward but to the right. She should not have done that on such a busy street and I should not have tried to go around and waited to see what she was going to do. And because we didn’t call the cops, the only clear loser is me. At least no one got a ticket, though. I would have gotten, at minimum, failure to yield, passing on the right, etc. Ruminating all night and evening on it, I kept wondering how it could have been different…if I’d stayed one more minute at work to talk, if I hadn’t run that yellow, or if I had decided to be more aggressive instead of as chill as I was yesterday, if I’d been more impatient and made a turn onto a different route home, if there were more people at the stop sign, if she had stayed more to the right instead of the left. I guess…someone else might have gotten into that accident, not me…given how everyone drives around here, I’m 50% sure that another person would have done the same thing I did and made the same assumptions. I’ve lived here long enough to know. Maybe that other person would have been much more nasty and I saved her that. All I know is that she acted very strangely: wouldn’t get out of her car, wouldn’t talk to me, wouldn’t even go into her own house, screamed and yelled and cursed her father out, adamantly refused to leave the safety of her car the whole time I was talking to her parents. It was a minor accident, but I guess in her head it was this monumental thing. He told me that she had JUST had an accident in the same place not 2 weeks ago, so I guess this was horrifically traumatic for her.

Well, no matter where the fault lies, that girl is fighting some terrible demons right now. I’m not unscathed psychologically because I’m mad that my perfect record is dead and that now I have to deal with my car and insurance and WHAT A PAIN. And my plan for doing house stuff next week? GONE. Again. I don’t know why every time I want to go down and do house stuff I can’t. It’s like something is telling me not to, to wait, not to finish, not to sell. Not yet! WHYYYYY????

It’s very warm today and the dogs were unable to sleep all night long it was so stuffy. 70 degrees in the middle of February…and snow in the forecast for tomorrow! Now that I have the window open, Gable is napping. My golden dog. Well, I hope this whole thing gets dealt with easily and quickly so that I can maybe enjoy some of my week off…instead of sitting around moping. That’s another lucky thing: that it happened right before I take a week off work.

C’mon year of the dog!!! Help me out here! Some good events please! It’s Friday everyone! Enjoy it!

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I’m Rather Convinced it’s Spring

Considering how the temperature high is going to be a steady 50-60 degrees for the next 2 weeks with rain and sunshine, I feel like it’s safe to say the groundhog was wrong and spring has arrived. The birds are singing, the trees are budding and my bulbs are growing. Came home to insulation all over the front porch where squirrels are busy forming nests inside our neighbor’s attic. While it’s not unheard of to get snow in March, February looks done for in terms of winter. Dashed are my hopes of one good snow this year. That’s year 2 that there hasn’t been anything to write home about. Figures that 2 years ago we had so much snow I decided to get all geared up in the event we have another one. Hah. Snow blowers everywhere collecting dust in my region. I won’t complain too much because this is exactly what I wanted since I have off next week in order to accomplish anything at the house. Speaking of which, I may decide to have a pallet of mulch delivered to the house so I can get a head start on that. I do need to sell after all and I can only do that in the spring time. The earlier I can accomplish that, the better, and it seems mother nature has made that possible. It’s go time next week to do marathon fence staining!  …I think I’m going to have to ask for many more days off of work this year to deal with the house selling.

So many things to accomplish…Things cost too much and yet I keep buying crap at every turn. I need to pay for materials to fix up the house. My car desperately needs maintenance, but I’m trying HARD to wait until March so I can get it all done at once and wait for the credit card statements to close and have yet another month to pay it. I very strongly want to book the beach vacation, but I need to be able to pay the down payment for that which is half of the price and holy moly that’s expensive. Gable’s checkup is due in August, so Monday’s visit wasn’t too terribly expensive. At least my miniscule tax return is something to look forward to. Hmm…I think I’m going to try and do that on Saturday before I leave for South.

On top of it all my doughnut belly is driving me batty. It’s really very big.

You know what’s interesting? Gable and Liana’s duties as dogs in my pack. I’ve begun to notice again their mannerisms when we’re on a pack walk. Gable’s job is lookout. Both of their jobs (and I think I’m supposed to do this too…) are lookout when others are busy being vulnerable (ie pooping and peeing), but Gable is the primary on that because Liana is always sniffing something. He’s the low dog in the pack and she’s higher than him. I’m supposed to be the highest, so technically if there’s a threat, I command them and protect them because I’m supposed to be the most powerful. I really hope I come across like that. Anyways, Gable is extremely active with his lookout duties and I’ve never ever been afraid with him. All I have to do is watch his movements to know where people are and how far away they are. For instance, the other night he was staring…STARING…at a man standing in front of his house smoking as I was waiting for Liana to choose a place to mark, and I hadn’t noticed his presence. Then last night I noticed that as I was navigating the mailbox, I turned around Gable had situated himself  with his back to us, facing the sidewalk and path to the extremely dark area between and behind our houses, ears up and on high alert. Liana does it too when Gable is otherwise preoccupied, but she seems to be more alert to other dogs and distracted by small animals. She takes great responsibility in alerting and protecting us from other dogs, though, no matter their distance. Gable doesn’t care as much about dogs unless they are very close. At home, Gable has no protective duties unless it deals with the front door (whereupon he stands there looking big), but Liana is very active defending the home from passer-by dogs and squirrels. She gets loudly upset and barks like a mad dog, hackles up and all. Typically, though, if a stranger knocks on the door, everyone just lays there until someone decides they want to get up. LOL.

Crazy Weather

Iiiiiiit’s Tuesday again!!

And it’s also cold again, only to jump up past 70 degrees on Thursday how exciting!! I noticed buds forming on the plants outside today. That’s bad because I know there’s ice coming in the forecast. Buuh. My bulbs were starting to sprout out back too. Eh, what can you do? Well, as for me, since I HAVE NEXT WEEK OFF FOR MY BIRTHDAY WHOOOO, I’m going to try an take advantage of the weather to do outside work finally. Please stay warm through that for me so that I can actually do something.

heh heh heh…every single year I take off work around my birthday because that’s what I really want: to not work. People take off of work to go travel and stuff but I take it off and lounge around because that’s what makes me happy. Especially in this area, people will look negatively on me for not wanting to make exotic trips or for excitement filled vacations, but I like them. I’m not a frills person. I don’t care at all for anything super fancy. I DO want to visit some picturesque locales and see the grandeur of nature, but the other stuff? Not so much. If I went, that’d be nice, but I don’t feel the absolute desire or need to do any of it. I understand other cultures, and other socioeconomic backgrounds. I am well aware that our culture here is only one of very many throughout the world, that other countries go about things differently. I don’t judge anyone for anything in that aspect. Many of my patients are world travelers, have lived all over the world. The vast majority of those residing here are those types of people, one because of work (government, military) or two because they can actually afford to travel (money and time). When I tell people I just don’t have that travel bug people are genuinely confused. Once again, I’d much rather take a hike and visit all the national parks than go somewhere bustling and fussy.

Haha. I’m too different to live here. I don’t enjoy the fast pace, or the impatience, or the lack of space or the crowds or the emphasis on self and money or the entitlement everyone exudes. But. Here I am. And I’m not going anywhere any time soon it seems.

How’d this turn into that.

One thing I’m starting to enjoy quite a bit is cooking! It’s like any of my creativity projects, except edible! Making new flavors, exploring new dishes! It’s much more helpful to not have to cook for anyone but myself (and my dogs) but it’s also nice to be able to get feedback and share the taste and creation with others. Unfortunately for me, when I do cook for others they have very limited taste due to food allergies and such. No matter what, I’ve been cooking just for myself lately rather often and it’s great! Usually what I do is figure out what’s on sale at the grocery store, then I start looking online for said items and add the word recipe to it. Many times I don’t get good hits because of the particular set of ingredients I have to work with, so I’ll combine different recipes to get an end result, plus, of course, my own taste. The only limitation is that I have to be able to feed whatever it is to my dogs too. There have been some flops but last night’s was very good! I greatly enjoyed it and am already thinking about how to make it better. My success rate is much higher than my failure rate.

Ever since I ate that Texas doughnut which was bigger than my head, I’ve been struggling with the addition of several inches to my waistline. It’s been absolutely terrible. Add in the bloating of a certain time of month, and BOOM. My muscles are doing really well. The weights are staying constant, my leg muscles are limber as well as my ab muscles. This was all evidenced last night when I skipped the cardio for floor exercises and stretches. And there’s the problem right there: lazing out on the cardio. My body does NOT want to do it, I’m so heavy, the cardio is slow and my heart is not liking it. I can’t do the DDR anymore because of the addition of a mattress downstairs, Just Dance is also not doable because people are always upstairs and the TV downstairs has been moved down South. Mostly I’ve been doing my own dance routines and it works except I’m so lazy! Weights are more fun for me because I see results and quickly, but cardio feels BAD, my feet hurt and it never seems enough. Also, portion control has been awful because  I end up having to eat leftovers myself so I don’t have to waste food and throw them away.  The jiggles…THE JIGGLES.

But yeah, it’s bad when I can sit here and feel the stomach bulge squish together. I hate that feeling…

Gable’s vet appointment went well yesterday. When we came home he almost ripped off my arm running up to greet Liana who literally ran out to see him too. It was absolutely adorable. They really and truly do love each other. She was terrified that I’d take him away and never come back with him again, just like last year…

 

Wednesday!

Yesterday, everyone was making a huge deal about the ice/snow/sleet we’d be getting this morning. We had patients call in asking about whether they should cancel and wanting to cancel. I, personally, had seen the forecast but thought nothing of it because it didn’t seem out of the ordinary. It was surprising and I can see how one person freaking out can cause almost mass hysteria (interesting story on the origins of the word hysteria…) because it started making me wonder if it was supposed to be bad. We looked it up, and it confirmed my earlier thought so we so called it when we said nothing would happen. There was this whole work exchange last night trying to figure out if I should come in early and do a 7-5 shift which I most certainly did NOT want to do. Different story if I lived closer, but I don’t and it requires me to wake up 2 hours earlier than normal and then be awake from 5 to 11pm or so…those who live closer get up around 6:15 and just roll into work and roll back home. It’s not super bad, so I do it occasionally, but in this particular instance, I’m fighting off a second wave of something and I just don’t feel very well. Waking up this morning my normal time, I was very grateful for the usual schedule because unlike last week, I’ve been sleeping pretty well with normal dreams.

Weirdest thing about this morning was that 66 is extremely quiet. I know that they don’t allow trucks on the road when it’s icy, which probably attributing to that, and that schools are all 2 hour delayed, but it’s really very not slick outside at all. My railing and the poop stations were all iced, but sidewalks and roads are just wet. Figures, after all the excitement with messages last night.

My patient told me yesterday that what I got during the New Year and what’s going on now is very much akin to what her 3yo granddaughter had and has. Nasty cold that doesn’t go away for 2 weeks, lasting cough, and now congestion and more coughing, basically round 2 of the same. It’s a lesser degree, but much more sinus involvement. The strangest part of it, though: My body feels fine. I don’t feel slowed down by it now or before. There are just symptoms that prove it, but I don’t feel miserable, just that I have something. Well. If it continues for another week, I think I’m going to have to go ahead and finally establish a PCP.

Speaking of which, why is it so hard to find a new PCP? I’m looking all around and I just can’t find one that seems to have consistent reviews…now, yes, I know reviews are a terrible way to judge any practice at all, but the resource is there, why not use it?

 

Friday now

This week has progressed rather swiftly. Not complaining about that. I was supposed to work out last night, but didn’t because I’m lazy. MUST. DO. TONIGHT. I really really really must keep up with things! This weekend…not much planned. Cat feeding for a friend. And hopefully getting on the RW bandwagon here. I don’t feel funny at all of late. No inspiration at all, even given that I’ve been playing different games. Doesn’t matter if I feel funny at all, I just need to do something. Overall my laziness knows no bounds and I can’t keep doing that! Actually, yes I can. I can do whatever I want.

My mom is sick again, and unfortunately for me, I think I’m catching whatever she has, which means I’m sick again too. Why. I was JUST sick. More reason to get back on the workout train. I actually was able to sleep last night overall which is better than it has been the last few days. Does anyone else wake up to a tune? It’s like my dreams get background music. My crazy theories abound again with the sleeping bit. Getting negative waves from the paternal front and it’s affecting my sleep tremendously. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it’s petering out and that the beginning of the week was spent with bad dreams and fitful sleep.

In the same vein, my coworker is no longer weirded out by it, nor are my other coworkers but others still give me that “you’re crazy” look when I mention things like, “I can feel when there’s major anxiety in the office.” I can though, and honestly I’m more weirded out that others can’t detect it because to me it feels normal to be able to do that. It sits in my stomach area and the lower chest. That’s how I can tell a truly anxious patient from a fake/self-induced anxiety patient. I don’t even have to be face to face with a person to feel it. There are several instances where I’ll call it before I bring a patient back because I can tell there’s someone freaking out in the waiting room. Yesterday was the latest occurrence where I brought back a particular patient once I moved my previous patient over to wait for a filling. I was about 10 minutes behind, but that’s not overly unusual in the office. However, during the course of the cleaning I became increasingly rushed, like, OMG I need to get this done FAST AND NOW. He himself is a naturally nervous patient (this week and last week have been full of these anxiety ridden folk…they always all seem to come at the same intervals) so I was trying to manage that and him by staying and exuding as much calm as possible, but I just could not shake the increasing demand to rush. I seriously thought that my appointment was taking so long that I was 15 minutes behind!! Rush job, didn’t even take xrays, got up to get an exam, made my new tray, almost brought it into room before remembering I’m still waiting on an exam, so I had to take it back, and then…I finally looked at my watch. I wasn’t late at all. I was 20 minutes early despite taking my patient back late!! It was then I found out what was going on and it all made sense: one of the doctors was very VERY behind because something went wrong with his appointment. Almost an hour behind. My prior patient had to leave and rescheduled her appointment, unable to wait for the filling, and the other doctor had to step in and help with exams. Makes SO much sense now. The rush-anxiety I was sensing was a mixture of my prior patient and my late-doc, but mostly my late doctor. He’s almost never behind schedule.

It’s useful to feel anxieties like that because I sense it before something bad happens, but it’s also very draining and I always feel like I’ve been sucked dry of energy by the time the anxiety-filled days are done. Just like yesterday. I got home and just didn’t have the spirit energy to get up and work out even though physically, my body was like, let’s GET IT ON!! C’MON!!!

I’ve yet to put a name on these sensory abilities. They’ve been extremely useful to me throughout my life because it allows me to read people and situations. I’ve had people ask me if I’m psychic. I can’t tell the future per se…I just get feelings, gut reactions that hint at what it could be. I can usually tell, if I’m at the height of sensing that day, if there’s a police car nearby looking for speeders…and I’m usually right. Some days are better than others, though. If my mind is clouded, then it’s hard. The best example of cloudiness was when I was in a serious relationship. I couldn’t read anything or anyone most of the time because my mind and soul were focused 95% on another person. When I’m sick, it’s messed up too.

Put the aura sensing, body language reading, and tonal analysis together and you have, Ta-DAAAA! I just judged you. My success rate is rather high too. In fact, if I can get you in my dental chair, I can usually tell quite a bit about you in a short amount of time. The harder person you are to crack, the more time and more visits I need. I’ve used and offered the service to coworkers and their significant others. One coworker refuses to let me delve in because it can be scary to know the real person underneath a mask. I use the same techniques when dealing with dogs. You read their energy/auras and body language. The very important flipside to detection, is how I react to it. Using the information to my advantage, and therefore, controlling my own aura. If I have an anxiety ridden person, I’m not going to counter it with anxiety, I  need to counter it with calm. If I can exude enough of it, the person will be lulled and anxiety decreased.

I’ve tried that technique in the car too, it does work sometimes if they’re being receptive. That’s another thing: if the other person is not receptive voluntarily or involuntarily, then it doesn’t work to control the situation.

I’m crazy, yes.

MonDAAAAY

Again.

WHoo! Check it out! I finished my craft project yesterday! Super proud of myself for actually finishing a product. I you’re interested in how it was done, see this.

Now I have to do laundry. Blechy.

Got an eye exam this morning. Very nice doctor. Same exact prescription as I’ve had for years. No need to change glasses, but I might come back and order new glasses when I actually have monies to spend. Dilation just started totally wearing off, but I swear I’ve been chewing through anesthetic in the last few years much faster than I’ve ever done before.

Other than that…nothing else to report. Super proud of myself for finishing that flag. :) Won’t be displaying it until closer to the date, though.

Been eating a lot again… buh.

3 Minutes…GO

It’s…FRIDAY!! Whoooo!

I’ve been doing really well the last 3 weeks about food and such and my body is reflecting that too. My stomach seems flatter, my clothes fit for the most part, and my fat clothes are loose again. Unfortunately, I’ve hit a spot where my body is rejecting this smaller portions diet thing, and WANTS FOOD NOW. Monday was particularly bad where I ate cake, cake, cookie, 2 helpings and fries. I want fries and fried chicken right now, thanks.

Money hasn’t been so good…but because of that, it’s a strong motivator to NOT spend money on eating out. Expenses left and right, me trying to fund my craft project while trying to pay for bills and thinking ahead because 1) Eye Exam on Monday which means money for glasses, 2)Gable needs Rabies this year! Whoo! I can’t just flub up and not bring him!, 3) Been trying hard to put off bringing in the car which reallllllly needs it until March because I just can’t afford $1200 of repair right now, and 4) I want to rent a beach house for the summer, but I can’t afford the down payment. GAAAAAAAAH

Aaaand I’m 3 minutes over the 3 minute mark. GTG