Day: February 2, 2018

Friday now

This week has progressed rather swiftly. Not complaining about that. I was supposed to work out last night, but didn’t because I’m lazy. MUST. DO. TONIGHT. I really really really must keep up with things! This weekend…not much planned. Cat feeding for a friend. And hopefully getting on the RW bandwagon here. I don’t feel funny at all of late. No inspiration at all, even given that I’ve been playing different games. Doesn’t matter if I feel funny at all, I just need to do something. Overall my laziness knows no bounds and I can’t keep doing that! Actually, yes I can. I can do whatever I want.

My mom is sick again, and unfortunately for me, I think I’m catching whatever she has, which means I’m sick again too. Why. I was JUST sick. More reason to get back on the workout train. I actually was able to sleep last night overall which is better than it has been the last few days. Does anyone else wake up to a tune? It’s like my dreams get background music. My crazy theories abound again with the sleeping bit. Getting negative waves from the paternal front and it’s affecting my sleep tremendously. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it’s petering out and that the beginning of the week was spent with bad dreams and fitful sleep.

In the same vein, my coworker is no longer weirded out by it, nor are my other coworkers but others still give me that “you’re crazy” look when I mention things like, “I can feel when there’s major anxiety in the office.” I can though, and honestly I’m more weirded out that others can’t detect it because to me it feels normal to be able to do that. It sits in my stomach area and the lower chest. That’s how I can tell a truly anxious patient from a fake/self-induced anxiety patient. I don’t even have to be face to face with a person to feel it. There are several instances where I’ll call it before I bring a patient back because I can tell there’s someone freaking out in the waiting room. Yesterday was the latest occurrence where I brought back a particular patient once I moved my previous patient over to wait for a filling. I was about 10 minutes behind, but that’s not overly unusual in the office. However, during the course of the cleaning I became increasingly rushed, like, OMG I need to get this done FAST AND NOW. He himself is a naturally nervous patient (this week and last week have been full of these anxiety ridden folk…they always all seem to come at the same intervals) so I was trying to manage that and him by staying and exuding as much calm as possible, but I just could not shake the increasing demand to rush. I seriously thought that my appointment was taking so long that I was 15 minutes behind!! Rush job, didn’t even take xrays, got up to get an exam, made my new tray, almost brought it into room before remembering I’m still waiting on an exam, so I had to take it back, and then…I finally looked at my watch. I wasn’t late at all. I was 20 minutes early despite taking my patient back late!! It was then I found out what was going on and it all made sense: one of the doctors was very VERY behind because something went wrong with his appointment. Almost an hour behind. My prior patient had to leave and rescheduled her appointment, unable to wait for the filling, and the other doctor had to step in and help with exams. Makes SO much sense now. The rush-anxiety I was sensing was a mixture of my prior patient and my late-doc, but mostly my late doctor. He’s almost never behind schedule.

It’s useful to feel anxieties like that because I sense it before something bad happens, but it’s also very draining and I always feel like I’ve been sucked dry of energy by the time the anxiety-filled days are done. Just like yesterday. I got home and just didn’t have the spirit energy to get up and work out even though physically, my body was like, let’s GET IT ON!! C’MON!!!

I’ve yet to put a name on these sensory abilities. They’ve been extremely useful to me throughout my life because it allows me to read people and situations. I’ve had people ask me if I’m psychic. I can’t tell the future per se…I just get feelings, gut reactions that hint at what it could be. I can usually tell, if I’m at the height of sensing that day, if there’s a police car nearby looking for speeders…and I’m usually right. Some days are better than others, though. If my mind is clouded, then it’s hard. The best example of cloudiness was when I was in a serious relationship. I couldn’t read anything or anyone most of the time because my mind and soul were focused 95% on another person. When I’m sick, it’s messed up too.

Put the aura sensing, body language reading, and tonal analysis together and you have, Ta-DAAAA! I just judged you. My success rate is rather high too. In fact, if I can get you in my dental chair, I can usually tell quite a bit about you in a short amount of time. The harder person you are to crack, the more time and more visits I need. I’ve used and offered the service to coworkers and their significant others. One coworker refuses to let me delve in because it can be scary to know the real person underneath a mask. I use the same techniques when dealing with dogs. You read their energy/auras and body language. The very important flipside to detection, is how I react to it. Using the information to my advantage, and therefore, controlling my own aura. If I have an anxiety ridden person, I’m not going to counter it with anxiety, I  need to counter it with calm. If I can exude enough of it, the person will be lulled and anxiety decreased.

I’ve tried that technique in the car too, it does work sometimes if they’re being receptive. That’s another thing: if the other person is not receptive voluntarily or involuntarily, then it doesn’t work to control the situation.

I’m crazy, yes.