Waiting

Sitting here, waiting for my 15-20 minutes to be up for the whitening. I really wouldn’t recommend this system to anyone. It’s pretty awful, especially when the Crest Whitestrips are much easier and much more effective. Then again, I am using a box that is at least 3 years old, so I’d bet (hope, really) that the new trays are of better quality. After a quick search of their uninformative site, it appears that the tray technology is better, but I have no certainty. No matter what, it definitely is true whitening agent because despite being expired, it makes my teeth throb like unexpired ones. Guh.

Welp. Tomorrow is back to work. My break is over for now. Nagging in the back of my mind, is the whole insurance thing (gonna give it a few days), and money in general. We got our first real tree today! It’s a small, tabletop one, but our first, EVER, real tree! I’m a little excited. I never wanted one because of allergies and how it’s such a waste after the holiday, but because I’ve been downsizing and consolidating and purging  excess belongings and materials, it’s nice to not have to worry about where I’m going to store it. Plus, it smells nice. We shall see.

The whole purging idea is really nice and it feels good. Thinking about it, I’m a little sad getting older and not wanting stuff anymore. It is depressing to me a smidge that this year I find that I really don’t want anything. In fact, I almost don’t want to buy anyone anything either since no one actually needs anything. While the thought process is a good one, it makes me feel negatively because I can’t make myself get into the holiday mood. I am always in the holiday mood, every year. Thanksgiving was hard enough. I wonder…is it…? Sigh. I bet it is. There’s something missing, something sad for me. Gotta try and shake it off, though. Everyone else seems to be really into the Christmas spirit this year! In my neighborhood, I mean. Last year, pretty much no one put up lights or anything, but golly, gee, lights are up everywhere! Already! Trees in windows! Decorations! It puts a smile on my face to see people into it this early in, even if I can’t get my act together.

…I guess I have been pretty negative lately. I can’t help it. This time of the year reminds me of him, especially now, because this time 2 years ago we were madly in love with each other and I was the happiest I’ve ever been in my life–people-relationship-wise. I have no one to buy things for anymore and buying myself things isn’t making me as happy as it used to.

Time to spit this thing out and get to bed!

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