Month: July 2017


I woke up like I do every day, around 6am. Usually I just end up lounging or napping for another hour before I pull myself out of bed. Today I got a jumpstart because Liana somehow managed to make herself fall into the little tiny crack among my bed, the dresser and the dog beds…I was afraid she’d be unable to get up in that strange position and hurt herself. So I decided to get up anyways because I’m already up. And also because I don’t have to work today. Makes a lot of sense, yeah?

This is the time that I usually get on to write in here, the blog, right after showering and morning potty. My body’s on time at least….gotta have that routine. I tell you, time and time again, it doesn’t matter at all when I go to sleep, I’m guaranteed to wake up between 6-8am. I remember in college staying up until 7am and then tried to sleep and ended up just giving up on that at 9am. Oh well. There’s always nighttime. The nice thing about laptops is that you can take them into the bathroom with you. TMI, yes. :D

I am so glad I dropped the cash to buy this computer. I really very much like it. Just enough power to play games, expandable memory, but it already is pretty good. I like the full-sized keyboard with number pad. It looks nice, the screen is wide enough that I don’t have to squint. It’s heavy, but if I wanted it light, I’d have just gotten a tablet and a keyboard. Yes, in the long run playing games will be difficult given that it is a laptop, but for my purposes, it’s great. I’ve talked to people who are like, wow you still have a computer? I’m like, um, yeah? I use it almost every single day, except maybe on Sundays. I hate mobile anything. Convenient, yes, but I usually end up casting it to the TV or dragging my laptop down anyways.

I was recounting an experience to my co-worker from my past (I also recount my dreams and other past stories. I’ve known her for 9 years now) and she remarked, “Wow, you remember that?” I waved it off and continued my story (basically as a kid I had a hygienist just like idiot at work and now it makes sense why her coworkers acted how they did too. It really stuck with me as a kid: that unsolved mystery because I liked her but the other hygienists didn’t seem to). Later with more time to think on things, my mind came back to what she said and I then had a thought: so. Does that mean that other people don’t remember things like that? Which then opened up a world of possibilities in my past and present. I mean, I know my memory is better than the average person, but how can I possibly know if it’s better or better better without something to compare to. Then things like, me talking to my patient about her teenage daughter’s want to wear super short shorts. I found myself saying, “It wasn’t too long ago that I was a teenager,” except that’s not true because that was half my life ago, but in my defense, my brain doesn’t feel like it’s been very long. I can commiserate and still understand for my kid and teenager patients…the memory thing again. I remember. So much. Always remembering, never forgetting. Even when I talk to my family about past events, they don’t remember things like I do. Smells, sounds, feel, taste. All the sensory information is there.

They say that our brains don’t actually remember and just make up information that it thinks it remembers. Is that true? Because I truly feel like I remember these events in the detail that I do. I watch old videos and it’s exactly like I remember it, but those are videos and unless you carry a gopro with you everywhere, you can’t record everything. I do know that memories are most strong when emotions are high. It’s a survival technique to remember things that affect us strongly. Maybe I’m always high strung? ahhahaha….

So, should it be strange that I remember events like the dynamic between old coworkers that are guaranteed to no longer work together anymore?

Then it blows another hole wide open for me: I accuse my ex of never remembering anything he said. It’s true. He told me things in the beginning that turned out to not be true or he refuted with another statement later. Promises that were never kept because he didn’t remember them. I remember most of the things he told me, and yet he remembered nothing. Probably remembers nothing now, having literally erased everything about me from his life physically and in his mind. I’d remind him that he said this and he’d be like, no I didn’t. So. Is it wrong for me to expect people to remember? Because remember. I expect it more of people I love or should love me, because I mean something to them. The same thing has happened to my friends. 2 months ago, they said this, but 2 months later they have completely forgotten, while I haven’t, and I’m a bit miffed that they couldn’t remember what they told me. For my ex, I know it’s true that so and so was said because I’d record it and if I go back, there it is.

So it’s me, all along? It’s unrealistic to expect people to remember as I remember?

This is why I must record, btw. I’ve had a habit of journaling everything since 1st grade when they asked us to start writing in journals because we were learning how to write and spell. Otherwise I remember too much and it clogs up my brain. I have the propensity to dwell on matters because, well, it’s hard to forget, but I’ve found that if I put it down somewhere, whether it be typing or handwriting (handwrite is much more effectively therapeutic, fyi, and saved usually for the very powerful emotions) things are easier to deal with.

Ironically, forgetting is also my biggest and deepest darkest fear. That’s my weakness. If I found myself forgetting everything that had happened, I’d lose control pretty quickly. You know what that means? It means I’m going to get Alzheimer’s. That’s how it goes, isn’t it?

In other news, check out this article.

Yesterday I decided to start keeping a list of video games that I enjoyed over my life. That would include most of them. Haha. So many “reviewers” hate on games that I thought were perfectly wonderful games. Don’t take reviews too seriously. Just go and give games a chance before you make a judgment. Just like I hate mushrooms and seafood while others would love them, someone will always hate and someone will always love a game, with exponentially more who think it’s good and decent and worth the time. I think I will put it as a menu item on this blog.



Boy! That was lots of rain yesterday! And then the wind! I was proud of myself: it thundered and lightning’d at work but I held my cool. Being focused and having to be professional about something is really helpful in dealing with fear. I keep telling my patients that if a bee got into the operatory I would leave and someone would have to kill it before I came back in, but I think I’d be forced duty-wise to hold my terror in check as much as possible.

My two fears-that-are-almost-phobias.

So another one of my friends is married. It’s interesting: you always know within a year of seeing a couple together if they will end up married or not. Now…whether or not it stays that way in the long run is yet to be seen…I haven’t lived long enough to see bitter ends like that yet. At least not too many…there was one who had a nasty divorce because her husband was found to have forcibly sexually assaulted people. There’s just…something between them…and so you just know. Apparently, though, aside from on this blog, I appeared that way too because when it was over literally everyone was appalled. Hah…I mean…I was so certain myself after that first year that he was the one I wanted. My heart was devoted and dedicated. It would never have worked out, no matter how right I did it, though, because it takes two, and there were warning signs everywhere. But. Hindsight is 20/20.


My old pups. Took them out to a trail today. No aquatic rodent, but neither one wanted to go home! Even the old lady who gets tired so quickly these days. She saw the car and didn’t want to go to it. They’re so  happy just being in nature…you should have seen her face, her nose going a mile a minute taking in the scents, the breeze, the sun. Yes, we had sun this morning. Hard to believe now, but there was. Mud, rain…none of those bother my two in the least. I…don’t know what I’m going to do when I don’t have trail buddies anymore after they’re gone. Someone not afraid of getting their clothes or shoes dirty, someone whose company is more than enough on a trek like that, someone who can get up early, someone who can appreciate little things like that caterpillar or that mushroom…someone who can walk in the peace of the trees and is hit by how infinitesimal our existence is; suddenly our worries and problems matter so little in the grand scheme of things.

Ah. The dreams of a dreamer.

Another relaxing Saturday of video games. No money spending this time!!

Damn HOA

OK…if this tree falls over onto our neighbor’s house it’s not our fault. They need to get back to us about it. I sent it via email since we’re in the 21st century but if they want it by snail mail instead, then that’s fine, let us know. Very annoying. HOAs are in theory, great, but ours is a huge pain in the butt. Don’t do this, you can’t do that, oh here, let’s just increase the due every single year because we don’t do anything anyways but we like moar monies. On top of it all, the person writing the newsletters is straight up annoying. There are nice ways to say things and not nice ways to say things. How come my HOA down south is practical and nice and to the point? I’ve lived where there is no HOA and where there’s a civic association and I’ll take the latter any day.

My friend tells me that there’s an 80% solar eclipse coming to the US on August 21! I need to get my glasses. Except that I’ve been spending money out the wazoo. UUUUUGGGHHH. I just want to live a normal life but I can’t, can I? Haha…I used that saying the other day on a teenager and it belies my age, for one, but as I increasingly find, my non-native status. I’ll say things that I heard often as a kid but people in general around here find foreign and funny. I used the term “hooligan” with my patient the other day and he thought it was absolutely hilarious. There’s something to be said for “uneducated” people huh? I dunno. I miss it. The little things like that. They make life less uptight, kinder, somehow. I feel like I always have be politically correct and proper around here.

I was texting and messaging up until 11pm last night. Given that my bedtime is 10pm, my conversations ended up melding into my dreams so I hope I was making sense to my friends…probably was half asleep at the time.

The section on paranormal stuff ended today in my potty book, but the last entry was about haunted objects. The “experts” in the field consider “energy” responsible for things like residual hauntings. Apparently hauntings are either intelligent or residual. Residual is described as an oft worn path of energy that continues to replay, kind of like a burnt on image of a movie or TV show to the screen. Have you ever seen the show “Haunted Collector?” That was the first time I’d ever heard of items being haunted…though I thought the show was a bit of a sham. It stopped airing a long while ago.

Hmm. Time seems to have escaped me today. Happy Friday!


I woke up to the group chat from work going bonkers. Apparently a ton of bad things are happening like people being out, people being late and things not working plus no temps.

I, myself, woke up this morning tired and feeling like I’m either fighting off an upper respiratory infection or my allergies are going crazy. Thought I had a minor fever last night. The pimples on my face are feeling better after the care I gave it yesterday, but I’m a bit worried because they’re just not healing as quickly as they usually do…like I need a round of oral antibiotics because my body’s immune system is elsewhere fighting off something more important than minor follicular intrusions. The one on my chin, the cystic type is crazy big and yesterday was spreading laterally.

Yesterday was very mild and beautiful out, almost like fall. This morning as I was walking out the door, I realized that it’s not as bright in the morning anymore and the sun wasn’t up as high as it usually is. Very fall-like indeed. The thermometer read 65 degrees!

…I just had a mental image of attaching large rockets across the earth and trying to change the rotation of the planet…

I’m a bit worried about Gable because I’ve seen him trip on our walks. Originally I thought it might have just been over some dips in the grass, but I saw him stumble on flat ground yesterday. You know, I don’t even want to know for sure at this point because I won’t be able to do anything about it except worry. And possibly Liana is incontinent.

The theme with conversations with my patients yesterday seemed to revolve around family and dying. About my sister and my grandparents and dogs and all that. It started with my patient whose mom had a mass in her lung biopsied in Hong Kong. It’s interesting to see the wide range of family dynamics amongst the population; whether siblings get along, work well together or not. One patient’s daughters seem to get along very well. When it comes time to make decisions regarding my mom, medically, will my siblings and I be able to get along and work together to come up with a plan of action? Somehow I think I’m going to have trouble with my sister. Whilst speaking to my patient with the daughters who get along, I realized what splits us apart: this inexplicable competition she seems to feel we are in. Nothing is a competition. I don’t get why there has to be a competition.

Then there was one patient who is being treated for severe throat cancer asking the doctor why. WHY does he have to go through radiation and therapy? It doesn’t matter, because he’ll never be able to eat the same way again. My God…I’m so glad I’m not the doctor…I wouldn’t know what to say. It’s true too: he looks awful. Just awful. Personally, I agree with him, but the problem as a medical practitioner (the dentist, the surgeons, radiologists, etc) is ethically we must do everything in our power to preserve life and treat illness if it is within our power. For a long time patient, too… With dogs, it’s relatively easy because if they are suffering you just put them down…not to simplify the process like that, but that’s how it is fundamentally. But with humans, you can’t. Not even if the patient wants to die. It’s just  not that easy. And then you think about it and it’s just not fair in many ways. It’s one thing if they want to live, but when they don’t? Shouldn’t we support that? To prolong and experience more pain and suffering than they already have for a 10% success rate. To be saddled with hundreds of thousands of dollars in bills…and worse, if you die and the probability is high, then who has to pay now? Your family members you left behind who area already grieving, stuck with dealing with your affairs and now an exorbitant bill.

It’s a lot to think about…especially moving forward.

Tuesday again!

Making homemade fried chicken tonight. We can’t drink milk, and what makes fried chicken so good is the fact that it always has buttermilk in it. I never knew what buttermilk is so I looked it up and basically it’s spoiled milk. Milk that is sour. So began my Sunday quest for almond milk which meant that ended up buying 10 more items than I intended which is exactly why I try not to go to Target. -_-;; Anyways, as I’ve learned over the years of cooking, chicken and poultry in general does not absorb marinade quickly like beef does, so it has been in marinade for the last 48 hours. I am excited.

I know I promised to stay away from the fried chicken in respect for the Chicken this year, but I think I figured out why it’s angry…I had gotten a little greyhound statue and put it on the porch and named it…Boubar. Boubar is rightfully a chicken’s name. I am currently on a quest to find a legitimate and appropriate chicken statue to place out there and assign the proper name, but it’s amazingly difficult to find one.

One of my scores from Target, however, was Ever Oasis, a new game for 3DS. It’s not an established series and honestly I don’t even know the company that made it, but the premise sounded great and I am desperately in need of something new and exciting. New indeed! Finally an original game not based off of anything, with a new world, new gameplay, new everything! So far I love it. It’s like a mix of Rune Factory town micromanaging, real time monster fighting like Children of Mana, you can have a team up to 3 players and there are dungeons to explore! A bit like Golden Sun too where you need certain abilities to access areas in the map. I think I’m about 70% done with the game.

This PMS this month has been ridiculous. I must be super fertile this go-round. Not only emotionally am I feeling it, but I feel FAT, I want fried food, and my skin is secreting a crazy amount of oil which means, pimples. Everywhere. My desire to forage and gather is also tremendous!! And let’s not mention my temper. Good golly.

Speaking of temper, I find it absolutely amazing, if not short of a miracle, how much I’ve chilled out. Part of it feels like, I’m too old and it requires too much energy to care about so and so, and the other part of it is simply, it really does not matter. My life fire is starting to burn evenly and looks like it’s only going to diminish from here on out. 30. Such an interesting year so far.

Ever since I organized my room yesterday, my skin stopped crawling as much and the allergies mostly left me. Darn dust mites. It’s weird, as I get older, I find that I’m less allergic to pollen as more allergic to dust. Still allergic to mold, but the dust is the real killer for me.

I was very productive on Sunday as I resolved to be: baked things, made Jello, cleaned my room, spent a frustratingly long time trying to fix the shelf in the kitchen which was literally being held up by a sandwich container (my shoulders are much too wide to fit in tiny spaces like that anymore…10 years ago that would have been easy…it’s amazing how much you grow in your 20s…not up, though, only out, lol), spent money, marinade, found my DS, aaaaaaand…then played Ever Oasis. lol.

Did you know that TeeFury sells posters? Really cool ones too.

Cystic type pimples are the worst. They are so PAINFUL.

Beach in one month!

OK…that tears it.

No video games today…unless it’s on my DS. As my late post last night proved, I spent the ENTIRE DAY playing Assassin’s Creed Revelations and finishing it. Then I watched that movie and spent an hour and a half writing about it from my phone (ugh) because it was stuck in my head. MEANING….I got zero sleep. And all of my dreams were annoying and scary and not restful at all (ghosts and pretty much assassin’s creed stuff). I went to sleep wide awake, and woke up wide awake. Kind of a good thing, though because I heard Gable and rushed him outside so he could pee. I hate having shallow sleep dreams, which is exactly why I don’t nap. My shallow sleep dreams are always disturbing. Always. Like it’s the wrong mental plane for dreaming…half realistic and half fake to the point where I don’t always know which is which.

Last night I was complaining about my overly religious cousin in Alabama who is always asking for prayers about the dumbest things. Last night pushed me over the edge when she wrote, “prayers for the AC in [her husband’s, my direct cousin] car!” OMG. Stop asking for prayers about car seats and inane things like that!!! If there’s a problem, go fix it. No amount of prayers or faith is going to magically help the A/C work better in his car when it’s not life or death. If the car seat is broken, go get a new one. Let me get out there, that they are not poor. They’re not amazingly rich either, but they’re not poor. Prayer doesn’t work like that. You can pray, but go freaking do things instead of sitting around asking for prayers. My mom and I start arguing and she’s right that I’m flying a little off the handle about it because she means no harm by the statement, but to me, that’s the kind of person (unfortunately a pervasive type of religious thought prevalent in the south) who falls the hardest because in times of not great need they are asking for prayers and calling on God (unless you’re Catholic, you don’t believe in saints…it all goes to either the big guy or Jesus), what happens when something catastrophic happens and no help arrives? Kind of like crying wolf. My co-worker is Ethiopian Christian (which is super religious…my Catholicism is like a cakewalk compared to that) and she said something the other day which I thought was pretty awesome: she said (I don’t always understand exactly what she says with her accent) she doesn’t want to ask God for things because he’s already too busy with so many people and things much more important than our very minor issues. That’s the kind of caring thought I ascribe to. That’s the use of saints, btw, you don’t gum up the channel because there are other channels.

Prayer is a directly related to faith. Prayer is the vehicle to faith and hope and solace. Prayer in and of itself doesn’t accomplish anything tangible…which is why it’s usually about people’s well-being, for guidance, that kind of thing…not selfish, materialistic crap. Like a car or the lottery, though it doesn’t stop me from hoping. I don’t pray about it because that’s dumb, but haha. My mom used to work with a woman who truly believed and her church believed that if she asks God for money, he will give her money. She’s thinking cash. If you read the Bible at all, any mention of giving people cash? Hah. My mom eventually argued with her and she stopped believing that, but it just gives you insight to how people view religion. To me, that’s step one to religious extremism.  Things always work out anyways, and that “money, riches” you want will be given to you in some form but in order to receive, you need to what? Give. Do something that will make you eligible to provided for. You can’t just sit there and expect things to come to you on an conveyor belt while you watch TV, right? Faith can accomplish amazing things. No matter what religion you are or have. Even faith in humanity or life or time or existence. Because faith is hope. THAT is what Christianity is, btw. Love, faith and hope. Simple as that.

On the other end of the spectrum I freaking HATE another one of my friends on Facebook. I only know her through dog interests and I decided that aside from that I would greatly dislike her. Anyways, she’s constantly saying how glad she’s not religious and downing religion in every way. Which is fine in and of itself because that’s her prerogative and her right to believe whatever. However, it happens a lot with her and that’s getting annoying too. She could easily say that in a different way without bringing religion into it. These days I’m almost afraid to post anything regarding God or Christianity and God-forbid Catholicism, because it’s so taboo now and you’re immediately placed in the sheeple/weak-minded/anti-science category. So I stay away from it for the most part. So why is it then OK to shame, degrade, and flame?

Obviously I am really in my fighting emotional state. It’s like I have a chip on my shoulder.

Today I planned to do non-electronic things like crafty stuff and cleaning my room because I really am allergic to something really bad in this room. I would love to start something crafty again. Too bad I can’t afford anything. My ultimate goal with sewing is to make an Assassin’s Creed costume. That would be so cool. A Marth costume would be awesome too! Because I can make the armor and everything! This is when I wish I had more space to work with belt sanders and a workspace in a basement or a garage or something where I can spread out. What would I do with all of these costumes, though? Eh just the joy of making it is good for me.

A friend posted something in the Richmond Times Dispatch about how binge TV watching is ruining your life. Since my late teens, I made the conscious decision to not watch continuous TV shows or anime. I can trace it all back to spending an entire summer absolutely obsessed with Sailor Moon Super Stars. From the moment I woke up to when I had to pull myself away for dinner. Then I’d watch well into the night and wake up early and do it again. I was like a zombie. And then when it was over I was depressed, like, clinically depressed, for at least a week thereafter, looking for fanfiction, fan art, anything, to keep it going. When I finally shook it, it all hit me hard, the reality of what had just happened. I have an obsessive tendency. No more anime. No TV shows like that. I mean, when you’re binge watching, what are you accomplishing? Absolutely nothing at all. You really are like a zombie. No brain activity, no movement, a lot of times, you don’t even want to go to the bathroom. The movie tells you exactly everything: how the characters look, sound, act, how the world looks. Books do the same thing, but you are allowed the freedom and brain function of deciding and imagining on your own those details. Have you ever watched a live action and THEN read the book? You can’t get the image and nuances of the actor our of your head. The imagination is gone. Or even the other way around when you watch the movie and you’re like, that’s not how I pictured that at all. This is why I stick with books and video games. Video games mostly fall into a middle category where you’re told what things look like, but you control what is happening in your own time, and give an even more expansive story if you care to do side quests that expound on characters. They’re interactive books, at least the story driven ones. Some of the decision games allow you to shape the game to you liking. With movies and the episodic TV shows, I feel like I’ve wasted hours and days of my life with nothing to show for it. Books expand the mind because you used it. Video games increase hand-eye coordination and you still feel like you accomplished something. Movies leave me feeling like, yeah that was a good story, but I still feel like I could’ve been doing something.

Don’t get me wrong, I like movies, but it depends on what and with whom. Same with TV. I still love watching TV because it’s a good unwind, but I like shows where the episodes can stand on their own. Cops. Animal Cops. NCIS. Criminal Minds. And I love cartoons. Mostly for movies and TV shows I like tasteful things, though. I don’t like my mind turning into mush…unless it’s making me laugh. A good laugh. A silly laugh. Not a malevolent derision kind of funny. Also, I do watch anime, but only video game based ones. Those usually only have about 12-15 episodes. The OAVs. I guess manga fall into the mid-range too of the scale of brain activity.

Ugh. This is probably why no one likes me. Too complicated. Too critical. Too strange.



Assassin’s Creed Embers

Ugh. I should be sleeping right now but I made the mistake of watching this movie after finally beating Assassin’s Creed Revelations (and therefore clearing The Ezio Collection). So much about it was subpar to me and all in all I would have been perfectly happy (if not happier) having never have seen it at all. Especially the ending.

And the internet seems to agree with me. Except that I’m about 5 or 6 years late.

First off the graphics are really bad. My very first reaction was, this is going to suck. I don’t usually care about graphics because it’s the story and gameplay that matter to me but especially after playing through the 3 games this was just painful. Certainly doesn’t add anything to the movie…

How did it go from this…
…To these…?

But I kept watching. Thankfully they kept his voice, phew! It starts off well enough: Ezio is old now, trying to salvage what time he has left in life. He’s struggling to find the words to some letter he is writing. He has two young children all at the ripe age of 60 something…very old considering the time in history that this is…it’s amazing his kids don’t have autism or some such disability. Sofia doesn’t seem to have aged at all (though I’m not sure how old she was in Revelations) which means that retirement has not been nice to Ezio…though he seems happy despite a nasty cough. Pneumonia? Lung cancer? Probably pneumonia…though given how many ancient, sealed crypts he’s unsealed and broken into, it’s amazing he hadn’t died of some nasty mold years ago. Perhaps lung cancer it is.

Robbers? Nah. Templars and all enemies I’ve made will never find me here! You know…just the last of the Auditore’s. Da Firenze.
I’m grumpy, ok?

Then all of the sudden some young girl assassin from China shows up and almost wanders off with his daughter. Doesn’t she know not to go off with strangely robed foreigners?? Good job fathering, Ezio. He gets all grumpy and mean all of the sudden and it’s explained that he has given up the assassin life and wants no part of it in an effort to protect his family. Revelations ends with him stripping off his hidden blades and sword. That was annoying to me to see and completely unrealistic in spite of the relatove realism and logic of the rest of games so far. Even Altair understood that. By the time Revelations ended Ezio was so famous and infamous to Assassins and Templars and governments alike you honestly expected to live in a Tuscan villa outside Firenze, his hometown, without anyone ever finding you? Even if he’d dropped the symbolic weapons, I think it highly unlikely a lifelong killer would refuse to stock weapons in such an open and defenseless place like a villa. What about robbers and marauders? Bottom line is he was doomed from the get go of his retirement. He’d surely have known people would find him and come for him so he’d have a contingency plan ESPECIALLY given he had a family to protect. It doesn’t make sense.

Oh strange oriental female in robed costume and neato weapons wants to walk off with me? Sure let’s go!

On to the Chinese assassin. Interesting. But rather improbable. She didn’t even have a bag or supplies. A straight up foreigner expecting to live off the goodness of strangers? Haaaaa. And she travelled all the way from China, lost her mentor along the way, to meet grumpy denial Ezio and ask him to teach her how to save the Chinese Assassins. Chinese Templars follow her. Fight scenes. Old man still got some moves. He just tells her to love people. Then she just leaves and he gives her some mysterious item in a box but tells her not to use it unless she gets lost. Huh. Very anticlimactic. Apparently Chinese Assassins have hidden blades on their feet and not their wrists. Sucks. You travel on foot and horse from China to Italy and end up with basically nothing. 

But! That was the jumpstart he needed to find the right words to write in his letter. His coughing is very bad now and he insists on going into the city with his wife and daughter (wonder what they did with his son…no evidence of a nanny or anything…). He’s very tired and weak so they sit him on a bench and wander off to buy things. He watches them happily and then a strange young man crosses in front of his vision and sits down. This is where it gets weird. The young man complains about the ugly women here and how he wants to go to Roma instead of dumb old Firenze. Understandable. Youth. Ezio mumbles that the city isn’t the problem and starts into a fit of coughing. The young man grabs Ezio’s hands and smiles creepily at him. There’s this drawn out exchange of eyes and creepy smiling and the guy has this scar extending from his mouth. Ezio, to me, seems scared of the man. Then he claps Ezio on the shoulder and gets up. Ezio manages a small smile, looking at his daughter and dies much to the horror of the girl and his wife. But he didn’t die with a smile…I got the notion is was painful. 

Creepiest guy of the year award

Creepy eyes

Here’s the hand grabbing part. My initial inpression was he stabbed Ezio!! Omg!!!

I was…confused and shocked. Who was that young man? What was with the weird eyes and smiling exhange? Did he poison Ezio? That was my immediate conclusion, that the Templars got him in the end. The internet was ABLAZE with confusion and questions and arguments. Ubisoft officially said it was just a young representation of Ezio in his past juxtaposed with his aged self. However, the strange hand grab, the scary grinning, the fear in Ezio’s eyes, and the suddeness of his death, plus the unsettled looking pose on the bench as opposed to Altair’s peaceful looking death…all to me pointing yo foul play. I mean, the graphical quality as I’d mentioned was pretty bad so maybe the grinning was supposed to be a genuine grin? And the eyes, same thing? But the scar…and most compelling yet is this: 

Blatantly in the frame a red cross just barely noticeable. I claim foul play, no matter what Ubisoft says. Plus that guy is freaking ugly and since everyone else was depicted as good looking or cool (the ones fighting the Chinese assassin) I say there was a reason for his ugliness. That death was just too quick and his face too scared/knowing. 

It doesn’t matter in the end, because no matter how Ezio died (I guess a heart attack?) and I agree with some people’s thoughts that since Desmond, Connor, Edward, etc is decended from Ezio, that Ezio’s daughter became an assassin to probably avenge the death of her father which she possibly witnessed. Because otherwise how would she have known to become one? Ezio made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with assassins anymore and it’s very highly doubtful he would wish it on his daughter since he despised the life he led so much. 

Then again I guess she needn’t had become an assassin to pass down the genes…

Well. The truth is out there! Or not. Because nothing is true and everything is permitted.

I was glad to be done with the Ezio storyline though, because doggone it all he had 3 games to himself. Altair had only 1 and some screen time in Revelations. He was paramount to the Order, unlike Connor or Edward, influencing change, spreading the creed and giving focus to the assassins, but man he really did need that rest. Leave it to the young people.

I still wish I hadn’t seen that movie, but I feel better now.