And the year is halfway done. WUT. June crept up so silently I can’t believe it’s already the fifth.
Talk about keeping busy…Saturday I went to hang with an old friend of mine who currently moved a few minutes up the road from me. Got to meet her kitty and boyfriend (his house she moved into), both of whom were great! Sweetest kitty I’ve ever met and he is so very interesting and nice! Took a tour of the place, got to talk and play with cat. Then we went to a nearby park that I personally have never been to and wandered around there for a bit. Tried honeysuckle for the first time in my life, avoided mud, then backtracked because she’d dropped her phone. Turns out it was, thankfully, not found by anyone else/run-over/or in mud. Then we went a little bit more, saw lots of dragonflies, a toad, and deer tracks. We were being obliterated by bugs so turned around to come back to her place. Did lots of catching up with her and somehow managed to volunteer myself to come back the next day to help clean out her apartment. haha. Not like I have anything better to do with my time. Spent the rest of the night with the family, played video games.
Sat through another painful Father “screamer” homily and mass. I realized that day exactly why I do not like him: he is just like dummy from work! He was doing some long-winded thing (thankfully without too much screaming, even if it was still realllllly hard to concentrate on the latin I was trying to read) and the congregation was done listening so he could feel the tension and negativity and started flipping out. Over and over I’ve seen how desperate he is for everyone to like him (he’s a newer priest and actually said it once that he wants “you to like me” *cue eye roll*) and yet he has that annoying Look-at-me-I-know-a-lot-please-respect-me attitude that’s unnecessary and that obnoxious nasal singing!!! Anyways. I can’t respect people who are always pining for others’ approval. Just be confident, be yourself, be humble, and people will like you. No need to fake it, just show people you can be respected. Plus, why do you need everyone to like you? Not everyone will. It’s life. Dummy at work does the same thing. Stop being fake, shut up, and just work. Everything else falls into place. It’s painful. Absolutely painful to experience.
Sunday! Woke up earlier because I promised my dogs that we’d go to the park. Decided to go close to home today and what a good decision! The trees have filled in now, teeming with wildlife. The day was not to hot and not to cool. It was early enough that not many people were out and given the muddiness, more reason for less people to be there. Pictures were taken, dogs were unhappy with that, but they got to jump in the water a bit (lower than I’d seen it in the past), crossed some stepping stones, talked to old guys who like dogs, got to see the pond now filled with lily pads and not algae. Then we went off the trail a bit and found a gorgeous little enclave next to the water with a beaver dam at the end (at least I think it is, given the dogs’ inclination to smell ferociously at the greenery and water). Snapped a few more pictures and I would have loved to sit there and take it all in, but the dogs were tired, and I had to get home since I had other obligations. Will certainly have to revisit! It’s funny Gable was being dramatic on the way over there (it’s a little tricky walking around the tree roots) and noisy as usual. In the meantime Liana who was afraid of water the first time I attempted the stepping stones, this time wanted and was the first to jump in. In fact, instead of being like Gable who followed me across the stones, she decided to venture further and was taken by some smell on the rocks (that’s what inspired the old man on the bridge to start talking to me). She…I don’t trust off-leash because she has a mind of her own, but I let her off there because it’s more dangerous to cross dangerous terrain with leashes than without. Plus her recall is at times better than Gable’s. Him I do trust for the most part because I know for a fact he won’t leave me. That greyhound in him sometimes side-tracks his mind, though. Plus he likes people and does that scary suddenly-lunge-at-you-thing because he’s so excited. Even over at the little enclave she wanted to go into the water. Silly girl. I’m excited to see her at the beach this year then!
Came home, mowed the lawn, shower, food, more games until my friend texted me and off I went. Hung out a bit there, helped unpack the car, busied myself with the cat, who decided he likes me (I think) while they were eating lunch. I kept forgetting myself and treated him like a dog. Then off we went! Spent several hours there scrubbing, cleaning and packing stuff into the car. Got to know her bf very well. Got back around 6pm and after helping unload the car, ran home to my unhappy dogs. Tired but happy and fulfilled.
What a great feeling to be needed and to be able to help. I’ve always loved helping with anything and everything since as long as I could remember. It’ll never die. That’s my weakness and possibly my downfall. That’s the point of my life. My meaning of life. I need to be needed. To make people happy.
It was also very therapeutic to be around positive energy. New energy! New situations, ideas and places. She is very much in love with him, and he truly cares for her. It always amazes me how much I can gather from a person and quickly. I can’t help it, that’s just I do (another downfall of mine). He really is quite a find for her. What I noticed throughout the 2 days is that he’s rather much like my own personality. I hope I wasn’t coming off as too nosy or putting off any other vibes because felt nothing but curiosity about him.
Things I learned:
- He drives an Outback (already a winner in my book, lol), and you can learn a LOT about someone through their driving. He drives…like me. Meaning he’s definitely got an impatient side to him and he tries hard to maintain a calm demeanor, but unlike me, he doesn’t suffer from true road rage (actually I’ve yet to meet many others who suffer like me). Sometimes I think it’s the car, but I don’t think so.
- He has an extremely creative mind that is always working. Always. This means that he has the potential to notice things you might not think he notices. However, he is musically inclined, so how much of that working is music and noticing patterns? Maybe that’s what makes us impatient: that our minds are always working, and faster than most so let’s hurry it up, people!
- He is extremely confident. This is a rarity amongst males but most people in general. Being comfortable in your own skin points to the upbringing you had and also your strength of spirit/soul. Alongside confidence is usually intelligence and the acceptance of your own strengths and weaknesses.
- He is an erudite. Even though he is confident, it doesn’t go past to arrogance much. He (mostly) readily admits if he doesn’t know something. I brought something up and he bristled a little to have someone with a different view to his, but it didn’t last and he was able to think about it and apply it forward. Impressive.
- Similar to above he is able to consider other viewpoints, and yet maintain his own in the face of it. Some people I call Bamboo People will in your face suddenly change their stance on something just because everyone else is saying that. Others cling so vehemently onto their own ideas they can’t even bring themselves to see a different viewpoint.
- He has 4 older sisters (2 biological and 2 step). This means he knows how to treat women. Or he’d better.
- A fellow DIY’er. You do something yourself, you learn how it works. You know how it works, then you know how to fix it. Also you save money.
- He’s thoughtful. He was adamant that he didn’t want my friend to have too much to pack or do on the day she has to be checked out because she’d be coming from after work, so he tried hard to jam everything into the car. He cares. Caring is the all-important trait to me.
So all in all, I respect him. He’s earned my respect. That says a lot. My standards are high and he got it within an hour of me meeting him. Yesterday was the surefire fill-in-the-gaps day. Grilled him. Make sure he’s a good guy. Sometimes I feel like I notice things that other people don’t. I don’t know why I’m always reading people like that. It’s unnecessary and adds layers of complications and stress to me, knowing too much about people and judging them. Well, it’s been spot on for the vast majority of my life, so if you ever need to know about someone, I’m here for you. Haha. Get them in my dental chair and I’ll really know. Nothing like fear and loss of control to bring out the real you. I also gleaned other information about him, some of political stances, stance on the occult (and therefore possibly religion), nerd interests, aaaand in watching my friend with him, how she feels about things. She’s always been a little bit of a harder read for me, because she good at keeping things in.
Anyways, it was really good to feel alive and not depressed and honestly in terms of relationships for me, proves that there really are people out there that could be good for me. That there exists those that share similar traits, interests and intelligence levels. Never a “perfect” one, but that they do exist. That maybe this is the type of guy I’d like? I dunno yet. A confident man like my own confidence. Would that clash? He would definitely need to know things that I don’t know, otherwise he would be bringing nothing to add to my life. No matter, it highlights the things I value in a person and I am extremely happy for my friend for finding such a winner! She really is happy and lucky. And so is he. He’d better know that. I really hope it works out.
I’m also really happy that she’s so close now.