From the Beginning

When I first started online dating, I put it on every profile and I asked everyone I could think of, especially those I was thinking more seriously about: Do you think that men and women can just be friends? It became more important to me after the disintegration of my very first relationship of 3 months.

No one had a real answer. There were yes’s and there were no’s, split both sexes evenly. I read article after article about love and relationships and eventually found information that I settled on, stating, men and women can only remain friends if they either never loved each other or are still in love.

Well, relationship #1 with J, saw me end it because after 3 months I found I didn’t love him, just liked him quite a bit. I wanted to remain friends, but he didn’t want to at all. I think he loved me and I broke his heart. Relationship #2 has officially ended too, but in this case I really loved him and I’m not sure he loves me. He broke my heart. I also wanted to remain friends and he had stated that several months before, the remaining friends, bit (although for the record, I’m not sure he remembers much of what he ever told me…that’s the problem with remembering so easily…it’s hard to forget). I guess it balances out, huh? haha. I thought we were doing well being friends, the first few days, but unless this is how he’s like to his other friends (which I doubt), looks like he’ll be lost to me forever soon.

Anyways, I think I’ve come to the answer to my question, taking into account my own experiences, watching others, and thinking of my friends. I personally believe that it, like life, is what you want it to be. If you want something, it is possible. It’s just harder because in this case two people need to be of the same mindset and desire. So, yes, it’s possible, however dependent on other factors.

No matter how much I want it, a relationship, any relationship, only works if both parties are equally in it. There will be times when the balance is tipped, but it should always equal out again soon. If the scale is tipped one way for too long, the lighter weight will slide off and the heavier weight will suddenly be sent flying.

…I just have to let it be.


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