Swollen Eyes

Never get used or will ever like this feeling. Blugh. What’s interesting, though, is that I noticed a difference in whether my eyes puff up or look relatively normal depending on what I’m crying about. It goes along with something I read before about how tears differ depending on the type of crying. So when I was crying in sadness but determined, it didn’t puff up, but when I cried for myself, wallowing in grief, it goes POOF. That type of crying for me  is prevalent in the early morning when I’m feeling sorry for myself.

The puffiness is obnoxious too because then I can’t see well. Thankfully it’s not super bright today (rainy) because otherwise I’m like GAAAAH.

I’m less torn up about all of this than I initially thought I’d be. It’s probably because we’re not cut off 100%…just the goal changed. The last few months have been a neutral exchange anyways, so it’s not a major shift.

I just truly truly hope he stays in contact with me. I understand that lingering after a breakup can impede the healing process, but once I make a decision, I go through with it. Steel myself and use that neutral facade I always use when dealing with the awful, terrible patients. Pull back and approach it from that 3rd person perspective. Makes everything easier to deal with because then I won’t lose sight of the bigger picture and the problems become so much less significant.

The nose is still going a bit though. Man my sinuses are crazy. No wonder I get sinus infections so easily.


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