So Very Dreary

What a dreary day. Gable is next to my bed and has his head underneath my blanket haha. He’s so funny.

Been really giving the whole dental school thing major thought. I understand the financial impact it will have. I’d have to stop working, obviously, sell the house and not buy another one (that way I’d not have a mortgage to either worry about or in the way of loans) which is all fine and dandy because I’d go live on campus this time. 4 years of myself devoted to it. Originally I was thinking about waiting until my life is steady (aka if I’m gonna get married then I need to), because to spend 4 years in very close proximity with other students through stress and happiness means you get…familiar…with each other. And honestly what a good place to look for a mate: you’re both in a similar profession and understand what the other is going through. And if I decide to devote myself, then I could be closing doors on major opportunities. Of course, then you have to think of the other side: what if after all of that nothing arises? Then you’re back to square one and lonely, having destroyed something for no reason. But to spend 4 years away and only coming back for breaks which are few and far between, plus the work of maintaining said relationship on top of school stress…is already a disaster in the making. No kids and absolutely no chance of getting pregnant…which means, giving my age, that I will never ever have kids. What an irresponsibility to graduate and while struggling to run a business decide to have kids you can’t afford. Definitely can’t have dogs. I’d have to get vacations out of the way too because there will be no money to do much of anything.

In regards to qualifying for school I’d have to give up hygiene and be an assistant instead for a year. Wut. Which means a huge pay cut. On top of that, I’d have to take pre-requisite courses  like biochemistry. THEN I have to think about if I will be able to do it. High stress, back to 28 credits worth of academics, needles, boards, damn projects, and class politics. Yuck. At least this time I’d have a car and be living in close proximity.

Oh dang, I’m late!



One thought on “So Very Dreary

  1. People talk about opening doors for opportunities all the time. But I like to think of it as not letting doors to opportunities close. If more doors are being closed with the status quo, then maybe moving forward will be the answer.


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