10 minutes

I’ve had little need to update here since I started back up with the paper journal. It’s just so much more therapeutic. Plus I bought some new pens to help with speed, glide and comfort and maaan it already feels better. Plus, I can draw in it!

OK, so I have no clue where I left off but I only have 9 minutes left, so here we go. Thanksgiving was good. Small gathering, immediate family plus M. Initially it was too much food, but as usual we now have zero leftovers so there was a perfect amount of food. Black Friday didn’t amount to much. I got some gifts, but nothing overly exciting and I still haven’t made any final gift decisions yet. Just bought some doggie Christmas gifts last night on the Cyber Monday sale. I kind of wish it was still a Black Friday craze like it used to be before people died trying to snag $100 off last year’s TV model. It seemed more fun and honestly that kind of frenzy, I believe, helps with a merchandise boost. The retail workers and even when I went on Friday saw nothing special in the crowds. Then again maybe it was the area I’m in…we have stores upon stores upon stores, so if you  lived in a place where there is ONE Walmart in 50 miles…yeah I guess I see a problem.

Played video games for the vast majority of my break (snagged some good Nintendo e-shop deals). Set up the lights (not done yet…my extension cords are all shot) and indoor decorations. Getting ready to get some more furniture to help with the clutter in the house. We’ve slowly but surely made progress with my mom for all of her hoarding and stuff. Maybe I can take some decent pictures in the house some time. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want a pristine house, but I also don’t like all the crazy clutter everywhere. Homey is a good feeling to have in a home…living in a museum is not particularly comforting. But weeding through excessive belongings is crucial in my opinion. It creates more house space, but it also removes weight from the soul.

Regarding M, being able to touch, to talk, to hug him after all this time was significant to me. There was an initial awkwardness from him, like we’ve taken several steps back since we started our relationship. However, he seems overall more keen on opening up to me, so while part of it was strange, part of it was not. I can’t even begin to describe the pain of knowing I won’t see him again for a while. Maybe he can stand it, but I can’t. Sigh. I’ll take what I can get.

I do NOT want to go back to work. Ugh.

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