I survived

It has been A WHILE since I had to work the 7-5 shift. There have been threats of it, but they don’t pan out. First, there was TRAFFIC. Wut. Then, while my body was excited to be awake early, it crashed about 6:30am, and I didn’t wake up again until about 9am. Then I was OK until around 2pm when my coughing got really bad (sinus thing is still ongoing) and my mind just stopped working properly altogether. I got clumsy. Driving home was the same sort of daze, where my senses were not sharp at all. When I got home, my dogs really woke me up because they were so cute and upset at me, so I took them out for a long walk and thank goodness my mom was home to have made dinner.

…I am a morning person. I like to and naturally get up early. However, without regular practice, I can’t just pick up and do it one day…especially with the seasons changing. If it was the other way around with more daylight then it would be much easier for me. I like to think I’m pretty in tune with nature since I am completely governed by sunlight, and feel weather and stuff. Thinking about it, I was up at 4:30am, left the house at 6:15 (mistake), and arrived at home around 6:10pm. I was out of the house for 12 hours. Doing that every day is awful. If it was the 7-3 shift, I could definitely do that every day. Blah. So glad to have been able to sleep this morning. This sinus thing really needs to go away because it’s compounding everything.

I am off next week! Trying to decide when I’m going to go down to start the fence. Weather looks good all around, but I’m definitely not staying down there the whole week. Maybe Tuesday, like I’m going to work. The dogs will love it.

M and I are at a point where we don’t need to be all over each other anymore. It’s a  nice feeling, but it’s strange at the same time. When we get together that touch and contact is what I crave, but I can usually do that with a gooooood hugggggg. He’s really trying hard to talk to me more, I’ve noticed. We’ve stopped communicating almost 24/7 as he moves forward with his career. Actually it’s so piddly, the amount, in comparison it’s scary, but being confident that our relationship is stable at least until he graduates is a comforting feeling. It allows me to focus on other things and go back to doing projects and stuff I like. Thoughts of him still go through my mind, but it’s not nearly as obsessively. I don’t care and will always try to do little things for him, even if he croaks at me for spending too much on him. He’s a sentimental guy, so it’s not too hard for me to come up with little things.

I spent Monday ordering a  buttload of picture prints and photogifts that I’ve been meaning to do and just haven’t. That will be my next project, catching up on all of that. Craft project, that is. Showed my mom yesterday the photobook I made for my uncle about Tristan and it set her off, she was so sad. Right afterwards, she told me she wants a picture with her granddogs. This is why I take so many selfies with them. I could only find 4 pictures total of my uncle and Tristan.  People don’t ever want their pictures taken, but then later when it matters, they don’t have any and the people that don’t mind have several. And I don’t mean the posed kind. I’m talking the fun kind, the kind that evokes memory. I have pictures. Loads of them. I’m obsessed with pictures. While talking to a patient about it yesterday, I realized why I’m so enamored of pictures: one of my biggest fears is to lose my memory. I have a good memory, if I do say so myself, and to lose that would be devastating to me. Pictures allow me to aid my memory. I never want to forget.

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