M has been hard at work studying away for Academy and then getting his butt kicked on physical days. He came to me on Saturday and we had breakfast then I gave him a massage (something I’ve been trying to learn via online videos) because I thought he’d like it after all the intense PT sessions he’s been having. Plus, he gets so stressed, I figured it would help him relax a little. It turned out really well for him, except that I don’t have a massage chair and he had a hard time breathing and staying in the position I needed him to stay in. For me, it was fun, trying to fully comprehend the art of massage therapy (as I always do…still haven’t found the *click* yet…). I need a recap on the muscular anatomy of the back and overall body, which should help me be more precise with my movements. Eventually I’ll learn the full body massage, but back massages are the go-to.

Anyways (as I run out of time as usual, damn you Facebook!) I picked up the physiology book again last night and this morning to do some more learning (molecular bonds and now protein cell bio), and I was aghast! The instant something got somewhat boring, my brain wandered off and thought about M. I’d try to focus again only to have the same thing happen! This was the exact reason I’d refused to be in a relationship while working towards my career goals…I can’t even imagine what it would have been like if I was THIS into him while in college. I understand that there’s much less of a goal now, but still. My brain in college was sharp, focused and more than ready to learn. 6 classes in one go? Easy. Back then if my mind wandered off, it was probably to video games, anime, or being outside, or even a different subject I was studying. Oh that’s right, it was mostly Project Aowam!

Gable is sleep growling and popping. So I’m thinking about this and I realize that M is going through school and he shouldn’t be focusing on me, he should be focusing on Academy. I’m not going to pretend everyone is like me because I know it’s not true, but I just let him know that really all I need from him right now is a good hug every few weeks and a couple texts. Let’s see what he says later. I’m working on the whole, steady relationship, let’s just be confident in that and let life go on thing.


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