Tuesday Again

And I have 6 minutes to write! Make that 5. I am poor. I have little monies, but I still need more t-shirts and buying stuff for M again. Wut.

I am having serious I-want-to-live-on-my-own desires right now, which while it natural and true, I know I’ll end up somewhat lonely and visiting a lot anyways. The ability to do that is nice, though. That cramped feeling is very strong right now.

In regards to my depression, it showed its head in full force yesterday, partly weather based. Sunday saw me lively…maybe excessively so? For sure I was ready to talk about it all, so I talked to my mom and then when my brother and I went out to eat we discussed it too, inevitably. Having a heart to heart with my brother. I’m not sure I’ve ever done that before. I dunno, all these feelings battling each other. The only constant I have right now are my dogs. They’re keeping me in check the most. When I’m feeling particularly depressed they force me outside on our normal walks, and then if I’m not being leader-y enough they start being obnoxious until I get back in control and focused. Now I understand why having dogs is so good for our older population. It gives you a reason to live and leave the house and do things.

Depression hasn’t visited me in years. It’s foreign.

My gums and teeth have ended up suffering quite a bit too because all I’ve been doing is clenching them and hard. I’m terrified of having cracked something, but let’s deal with the soft tissue first.

Sigh. Time to  go down and prepare for my day. I’m so, so, so glad I didn’t have to work yesterday. I was in no position to be doing any patient a service.


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