My heart feels heavy again. On my commute I realized how unstable I am emotionally. It’s scary because I feel like I’m currently rather volatile. My body recognizes that I shouldn’t feel this way and that it needs to turn it around. It’s trying pretty hard but instead it’s manifesting as extremes of emotions instead. How do I get back to balance? Maybe it’s just time. If that’s the case I hope this week goes by quickly. Dogs and video games. The best medicine so far. My M is too busy right now. I could use being wrapped in his arms right now. 

Unfortunately other depression habits are occurring at an alarming rate…namely junk food and being a couch slug with no desire to do anything. My physical condition feels weak but I have no desire to actively do anything. 

It’s all mental right??? I should be able to kick this!!! Where’s Mr. Sun when you need him… gimme that dopamine and serotonin. I’m trying to occupy my brain. Bought myself one of those brain puzzle books. It’s hard. Lol.

Saturday please come faster.

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