R update

Is there anything else?

M got out early yesterday and texted me JUST as I happened to be checking my phone. Then after I got home and walked the dogs we got to converse a bit, both reassuring each other we weren’t being silent on purpose but that he was being overwhelmed by Academy and I was trying to understand for him. I’m going to see him tomorrow :) This is yet another instance I wish I was living on my own. My brother is a 3rd wheel.

He also asked me for the winter, a favor, as they do not allow inclement weather to cause no-shows (something I’ve already figured and sort of tried to touch on with him about choice of cars for the future). Since I live very close to where he’s going to school, he asked to be able to spend the night here as opposed to having to get a hotel or sleeping in his car. Of course I’m OK with that. BUT. This is not my house and I live with my mom. Who is very old school. She’s already freaking out about it and I’m like holy crap, chill. Even MORE reason for me to want my own place. Why would I not offer to help out my boyfriend? It’s not like he’s asking me to be an accessory to murder. He just wants  a warm place to sleep that won’t cost him an arm and a leg. We HAVE an extra room. She wants to make him sleep in the freezing basement and refuse to allow him to use my bathroom. Then she got the idea that he should shower AT academy instead of here, but I ignored her. She’s being wholly unreasonable. I don’t care. I already decided he can sleep on my bed, I’ll take my old twin bed and I’ll wake up and help him shovel out the next morning.

While we may have been raised conservative and traditional (2 big blows on that front being Catholic and Asian), I have my own ideas and conclusions about everything. The biggest argument for me (and I’ve pulled it for other situations before, because it’s irrefutable) is, look, if I was on my own and you have no clue what was going on, would you care? No. Because you wouldn’t know. Now I can choose to tell you or not tell you about things. It really is a powerful argument. And honestly, I am WELL beyond old enough to make mature decisions about my life. As my co-worker put it, I am in a really good position (unlike her) where I can technically pull out at anytime (I JUST realized where that saying originated from). I have no real strings holding me back. My mom keeps acting like we’re going to be around forever. She needs to think more progressively, but I doubt that will ever significantly happen. Wait until she finds out what I decided for the future…

I did the math last night and if I sell the other house, and am allowed to keep the down payment my mom lent me, then I can afford a house with the proper down payment up here. Just need to save up money for other things…which is the point of the whole Monday working.

I gave up this coming Monday, but it was for naught, or so I thought. Turns out it all works out because my uncle needs me to ferry his dog to chemo. They’re only open on weekdays and he’s up in NYC. Don’t get me started on that…when I had furry cousin I definitely asked about the large lump on his side which had for sure grown since last year. PLUS it was bothering him the week and a half I had him as he kept scratching it. It didn’t feel like a relatively normal lipoma or a cyst either…it was attached and certainly vascular. Very worrisome. My uncle passed it off as something they’ve been keeping an eye on don’t worry, and I was like, bluh. Aaaaand there you go. This poor DOG. Sometimes I’m glad he doesn’t have real kids because I have no clue how he’d treat them. Definitely not dad material.

Why am I still so sleepy!!!!!?????? Gable stopped having diarrhea for 2 nights now…so I should be OK to sleep. Something is bothering me. What is it.

You all know how strongly I feel about cutting carbs from a diet. I hate it. With a passion. I’m trying to decide how to address it with M…he NEEDS the energy, but I know he doesn’t want me to say anything about it. It’s driving me insane. He’s not weight lifting anymore, so it shouldn’t matter, and he definitely needs the proper nutrition and not some stupid diet that’s going to impede him instead. It drags on me not for my sake but because his health really worries me….I don’t know how he’ll react. Ugh. And we don’t need more conflict.

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