So. The Doberman is gone. And my dogs breathed a huge sigh of relief. My own heart was lifted in reduced burden. Our schedules and routines are back to normal, rules are back to being in place and unbroken, toys are able to be played with, the Dobie smell is gone, and the hallowed walks are smooth and uneventful. Most importantly, the aura of the house is calm yet again. I feel bad because I know while he is here he is happy, but the onus it places on the rest of us is burdensome. Also, he’s old. I may never see him again for all I know (which is why I took a bazillion pictures of him) and overall he’s a good dog. I will say towards the end when they were playing together it was cute, and my favorite was trying to teach him how to catch treats, lol. Eventually instead of letting it merely hit him in the face, he would sort of open his mouth and it would bounce off his teeth. He caught only one but it was simply reflex on his part.
I didn’t see M this weekend. Saw him on Friday when he insisted on coming over, but goodness I was in a terrible mood after coming from work late and sitting through crazy drivers and then dealing with the frustration of walking the Doberman. On top of it all, my brother never relayed the banh xeo information to my mom, so instead of my highly advertised banh xeo we…didn’t have it. AND M’s “diet” has been driving me crazy. In retrospect I could’ve at least pretended to be happier that I got to see him. What an idiot. I know it impacted him. Geez…gotta be careful about little things like that. He came over to see me and I was just throwing a silent tantrum making everyone uncomfortable. I got a taste of that feeling when he didn’t come over Sunday because he was going to the movies with his friends.
…I’ve been trying to wean myself from our constant communication because I know he’ll be at Academy for the last part of this year. I’ve emphasized that I refuse to stand in the way of his future, so I feel this is the best course of action, but it’s a fine line between too much and too little. It’s something I’ve come to grips with, though, and I feel that the 2 of us are trying to do the same things. He’s been distracted with his training and much to my self-loathing, I find myself super jealous of anything standing between me and him. What an awful feeling to have…something I’ve not felt since I was a child. Last night I asked him if our communication lines are still up and kicking, because I’ve mentioned in the past that I want us to be able to talk about anything. He assured me they are and while these simple words were, well, simple, it made a big impact on the tension between us, in my opinion. For the better.
In the meantime I’ve been keeping myself occupied with getting my own fitness routine back on track (blaming the dog again), and this year’s dog costume extravaganza!! :] More on that later.
This is the week before the office is closed…I hope it goes OK without a hitch.