I was very tired this weekend for some reason, sleeping much more than normal. Usually I blame it on the weather, but is this accurate??
The Doberman has been with us now for 6 days, and it wasn’t until yesterday that he felt comfortable enough to come lay near my dogs…or maybe it’s more that they finally allowed him to. Walking is still somewhat stressful for me as he seems to not remember fully the rules, but it is so much better than day 1. People always slow down or stare as I walk by with 2 greyhounds and a Doberman. It never ceases to amaze me how he can go from such a state of instability energy-wise and in demeanor to a lucid, mostly calm dog all in the span of a few days…and all it took was structure, rules, and adequate exercise. We realized with a heavy heart that he doesn’t really know his name anymore, just like Liana when she first came to us, because anytime my uncle or anyone would call his name was to yell at him. He doesn’t even turn his head. Strangers call my dogs’ names and they turn because they recognize it. I always feel bad when I have to give him back after the week we have him because I know he’ll just go back into that toxic state of mind outside of our haven. Eh…what I can I do…I’ll just give him what I can when he’s here with us.
On Saturday I walked and biked all 3 of them. It was great!! I was pretty darn tired, believe me but the dogs were really the most satisfied. Sunday saw me panic because on inspection of Gable for injuries after he fell on our walk I found FLEAS. I’ve never had to deal with them before and am fully aware of what a disaster a flea infestation is when they entrench themselves in our home. I went nuts. Ran out and bought up $72 worth of flea stuff from PetSmart, then I took a detour and went into Homegoods (bad bad bad) where I got my FEMALE on. Had an epiphany about why women are so into shopping because I was full-on foraging/decorating mode. I was walking around with a discerning eye and zooming in on my prizes, and then I stopped and observed the women around me and they were doing the exact same thing. LOL. Foraging! While my man is off hunting for foods (a living) I’m foraging and maintaining the domicile. Buh.
Anyways, got home and spent the rest of my Sunday going crazy on the house. Literally spent all day washing dog beds and bedding and stuff. Had the whole house out helping to bathe the 3 dogs in flea killer. Called up M and forbade him from coming over lest heh contract fleas himself.
Monday after that whole rush, my mom was home so I woke up super late, danced with the Doberman and we took off to do more foraging (grocery shopping), but before that wandered over to my grandparents’ house to water their plants. I ended up with a gazillion mosquito bites in the span of 10 minutes all around my knees on top of the several I had garnered over the last week. Came home and felt super sleepy, so I watched Cesar Millan and snacked on junk food. Then my bike tent came in the mail, so I went out and set that up (with bug spray!), then cooking the rest of evening, cleanup and laundry and all the stuff and soon it was 11. WTH.
Called M, because I’d been busy and hadn’t texted him much. I’d been kind of ignoring him the whole weekend and then didn’t see him on Sunday like usual. Why, I don’t really know, except maybe that I was practicing for when he goes to firefighting school, distancing myself mentally and physically from him. I had gone through one full day with minimal and curt texting, and felt myself strong and individual again. The thought of, wow, if we broke up I’d be totally fine going through life like I used, came through my mind and empowered me. Similarly thoughts of, this is what I used to be like before him, and do I really need a man to be happy in life? followed thereafter and the busyness kept me occupied. However, the instant I heard his voice, I started choking up, feeling emotional, and my heart yearned for him. That’s when I realized I truly missed not seeing him like usual. I couldn’t even say much. On his end he didn’t either. He mentioned that we need to make up for it with a dinner date on Friday, but there we were on the phone, emotions on either end hanging in the air. As soon as I hung up, the tears started coming for my aching heart, for the fact that I can’t believe I’d become so attached to someone else, for how I could have even thought I’d be perfectly fine if I never saw him again…
Man this relationship has turned me into a blubbering girl after all. The heck.
Ah…time to get going here. I hope this week goes by quickly and without much incident.