MONDAY POST

Really I need to get into a better habit of updating on Mondays instead of Tuesdays given the limited time I have to write a decent post…which is ironic because now I am in a bit of clamshell too given that walkies is at 6pm. Hmmm…I need to cook but I forgot because I was playing …or replaying, really…games. The game world is sorely lacking in good games right now so much so that I’ve resorted to replaying my old Phoenix Wright games.

It’s very dark and stormy right now, but Liana wants to go on a walk already.

M texting me right now doesn’t help move things along here…but he is a wonderful reason to make sure these posts are interesting and relevant to my life. Every so often I find myself wishing I’d written more on certain topics and disappointingly find out that there’s not much or nothing at all on the subject. The major reason being, most likely that I’ve decided to update in the 20 minutes I have on Tuesday mornings instead of the limitless time I have in the evening before bed like I used to. My schedule has changed to texting, phone surfing and playing video games before going to sleep. On a related note, I finally visited the library this past weekend because they sent me an email saying that I would be cancelled for inactivity. Got me a new card, some books and a bunch of CDs to help learn Japanese. For FREE. I didn’t even know that library carries those!!! I was super stoked….and have yet to open a page. LOL.

Thinking about how long it will take to make my altered chicken pot pie with potatoes instead of crust…never have been a big bread item fan myself. I like it, but not too much. Except crostini’s. Those are great. With olive oil. And fresh baguettes from Shoppers.

What else did I do this weekend….not much of note. Hung with my brother, took a bazillion selfies, contemplated buying portrait backdrops and lighting again, went shopping (realizing why I stopped going shopping….lack of self control…), stayed at Mass until the very end (WUT), had Chinese takeout, watched Golden girls after a morning of cleaning and hair removal (because I guess I needed to make myself presentable for once since M was coming over), had M come over saw him off to bed, more Golden Girls and ice cream, then mom came home and we sauntered off to buffet dinner. More cuddling as I got home and he left. Usual routine today with mom and daughter grocery shopping and vegging out all day.

Rain is coming down hard again. Not nearly as badly as the torrential downpour earlier, but enough that dog walking will be a wet affair. Rain. Rain, rain and more rain. SO MUCH WATER. Everyone keeps saying it feels like we live in Seattle or Europe. I ran out to cut the grass earlier today even though it was a little damp because otherwise it would rain again…this week it’s supposed to jump way up into the 80’s and almost 90. I assume it’ll be quite humid too…ugh. At least it won’t be so rainy…I think. Gardening has been impossible as is trail walking. Poor Gable was really hoping we could go somewhere today, but it’s all mud out there! I realllllly have to get them to the vet for their shots so that we can finally go out with George and Daisy. Next week is Memorial Day so not then, but I need to make an apt for the week after for little girl. Then wait a month to get Gable in for his in July. Then yay! Sweating time! Enough waiting on that.

I did get a raise after all. WHOO.

OK, so down to the last topic here which is predictably about my relationship with M. It’s quite steady. June 1st will be our half year anniversary. We’ve passed our probationary 3 month period without much notice. While I don’t get that butterflies stomach clench when he texts me anymore nor when I see him, my body responds quite readily when we’re touching or sitting next to each other. My heart rate increases without my realizing it and I’m happy. We’ve had some interesting times as we experience each other’s moods and such, and he has clearly demonstrated that he’s much better and easier to talk to via text than in person (dunno how well that bodes in the future? Or maybe we’ll be a modern technology couple??). Then again these days I only get to see him on Sundays after work for him and he tends to be a bit of a zombie then. When I get to see him on other days like a Friday or something non-stressful, his energy level is very different. Much more engaging and hyper. And understandably so. He gets along well with my dogs and my brother and vice versa. My mom likes him but they are kind of awkward with each other still. My brother and I have tried to explain to her why she needs to lighten up around these men because she makes them uncomfortable. On the flip side, she thinks of him like her son and she’s told me so many times over. I really think the buffet eating with us yesterday brought them closer together.

He’s…overall rather rough around the edges.

Any semblance of “gentleman” is nonexistent in him…in the sense of politeness and etiquette. Not that I ever expected him to hold a door for me or anything of the sort, but sometimes I wish he was bit more…polished. Don’t get me wrong, I love me and have always loved me a rugged man. I’ve noticed that the more I say thank you and please and such that he does too. Now to get him some khaki pants or something…and a polo. My family is the opposite of the strong silent rugged type of people and they want him to come to a big family function in July…the question is how to take him clothes shopping with me and how will that go???

With all that, he is a great big softie underneath. I keep seeing in him what he could have been given a different childhood. He demonstrates an intelligence and desire that meant that he could’ve been a pretty good student if the right amount of focus was inspired in him. I like the street/life smarts that he has, as it is a major contrast to what I know.

There are things about our relationship that I wish was different, but all things considered I am very happy. His texts always make me smile in some way or another. He is constantly in my mind. Physically we are attracted. He owns my heart. My dogs like him. My family likes him and he likes them. There are inconveniences that make our relationship harder, but we both seem OK with it. We say things when they need to be said or considered. I AM happy, however, that we’re out of the pure infatuation stage.

I’m excited to see where else this will lead us. I love him. Wholeheartedly and in a way I never ever thought I could ever feel about a human, no less a man. I keep thinking that yeah I could walk away from all of this and just rid myself of the whole relationship mess, but if I did, no matter what I pretend to tell myself, I would be absolutely miserable.

OK. I’m out of time. Time to walk the dogs! See?? One hour is so much more time for words than 20 minutes!!

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