What Have I Done to Earn

–My little girl’s trust? It took 2 years, but she’s become so extremely affectionate and she follows me around now. I put them in their respective rooms at night and 99% of the mornings these days, she is sleeping in my room with me. Even now when I’m on my usual computer time before breakfast, here she is in the room with me whereas in the past she’d hide from me until after I’m done with breakfast. That’s Gable’s usual place…speaking of which I don’t know where he is. Maybe they flip-flopped places. Sometimes if he’s in here with me she’ll come in and lay on the bed with him. Haha. These dogs are my treasure. I am blessed to have them in my life.

Yesterday marked the first time that M came over and my heart didn’t leap from my ribcage. I was glad to see him, but not to the intensity that it has been. Before his arrival I was playing Xenoblade and every so often I’d get pangs of excitement, but it was more subdued. I think he shared the feeling…little nuances here and there. I got a glimpse, a reminder, really, of how our tastes are sorely different. I was watching shows I like and went to go cooking so I encouraged him to watch what he liked. He ended up picking an MTV show called Catfish and I tried to be open minded, but it’s basically a Jerry Springer-type show about couples in long distance relationships where one party is not as they seem. Considering he likes Korean drama type shows I shouldn’t be surprised, but then again maybe I’m the odd one out?

My brother comes home and is really happy for some reason, amped up even more that M is there so during dinner he bombards M with all sorts of questions like it’s the first time meeting him…painful to watch/listen for me because it’s embarrassing. I know he was just enthusiastic, but it just highlighted his underdeveloped social skills. M was mostly patient with him as usual. After dinner we watched The Last Witch Hunter like we intended to on Sunday but didn’t have time. I was a bit nervous because I don’t like watching movies with people. M has this obnoxious habit of whacking me on the face/head when he’s bored or unsure or something, which he did a couple times during the movie, which is scary because the movie was about 80% action scenes. I keep grabbing his hands and putting it somewhere else. It’s a PG-13 movie. I like Vin Diesel movies because most often they’re full of action and very little fluff about romance and etc. There always are but hardly ever embellished, thankfully. I rather liked the movie, myself. Then again those are my types of movies. I like action, fighting, intrigue. I care very little for drama. Couldn’t tell if he was bored or just kind of uncomfortable watching with us? Actually I couldn’t tell if he liked it because he said it was dumb but he could’ve been joking because he was certainly interested for most of it. I liked it so it doesn’t matter. lol.

When he left, though, the familiar “OMG I love him” hit me. Let me tell you…the normalization of our relationship is an interesting process. I was and am well aware of how dissimilar we are in tastes and likes and dislikes, and I know that just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean we can’t get along, but I ask yet again…to what extent is it a problem? The stuff we do agree upon are significant. Eh. Time. TIME.


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