Why I always do this I’ll never know. Interestingly enough this year I’ve scaled back. Just putting into perspective the other years.

Thankfully January is a 3x pay month instead of the usual 2, so that will help sooo much to offset bills. And the mortgage. And then…..BUDGET. That is my resolution next year.

In January when I post my Resolutions I will reflect upon this year’s too.

I don’t know why but I feel like Christmas is next week! Maybe it’s because I’m mostly done! It makes me nervous though. That maybe I’ve forgotten someone? I swore to have this all done this weekend because next week is only a 2 day weekend and I am determined to spend as much of Saturday with M as possible.

I don’t know how much I want to divulge here, given the publicity of this blog. People might read it but unless I’ve specifically invited personal friends onto here, I don’t want to those close in my life to read these. Just in case I hurt someone unintentionally. There are things that should only be written for my eyes only. I guess that’s where a physical diary comes in. I love those things, but these days the risk of them falling into the wrong hands is high (even though my family would never do that). Then again, it’s so easy for people to hack into accounts online. I guess there is no true privacy except for what’s in my head, but we all know how well that goes with me keeping things in my head.

Our relationship so far has been really up and down. Mostly up. He’s always been someone I can ask any question or discuss any topic with. Considering our constant communication, we’ve talked about SO MUCH. We’ve established ground rules, tested boundaries and on and on. Our only real flaw is that we have very little time we can spend together. Privately. I don’t live on my own and now neither does he. We have our degrees of privacy in our abodes, but in the end we are never alone. It’s great to be able to discuss via text and type, but there are cues and nuances that can only be attained in person. We both realize it. Not to mention we’re both rather shy people…but you learn the most when doing something with a person. So our dilemma’s: privacy and finances.

…I think that is all I shall divulge. In short, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. If I lost him…again….I would be more than devastated. I’d probably become depressed. He means almost as much as my family to me. Back in March I said something very similar, but this is much more intense a feeling because we are more than just friends now.



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