As of right now I have 13 minutes. I’d like to spend it napping, but if I did that I might not wake up. Slept really early last night, but didn’t seem to help much. The weather!!! The weather!!!
Now what was I going to write about? Great.
Probably relationship stuff, so why not.
Hmmm what to get my mom for Christmas. I’m trying hard to keep the budget low this year. Never did fulfill those resolutions to the best extent of my abilities.
Now that I’m officially dating M (I just got really excited writing that), it becomes apparent that I need to do my part in the relationship and not just treat it as this thing I can choose to randomly participate in as I see fit. He’s really into me. Really devoted on his part. I like him quite a bit myself, but letting go of that last bit and opening myself up is still hard. I like that we can speak openly about really any topic and not feel awkward about it. The hardest part so far is finding time to spend with him away from prying eyes/ears or whatever. Not that it’s a must when we spend time together…I’d just feel funny. This weekend he’s coming with me on my major Christmas shopping spree, so looks like I’ll be able to learn more about him and his habits/routines. Men don’t tend to enjoy shopping much, so we shall see!
My mom told me that my grandma is still afraid that I will end up being hurt by him because Vietnamese men have a habit of doing that and she doesn’t want to see another issue like my mom went through. I do understand what she’s saying and I appreciate it, but I have to trust that he won’t. It’s all a risk. I know that. What they don’t know is that he was married once, and we actually had a falling out ourselves earlier this year before coming back into contact with each other. My doing, because I couldn’t stop thinking about him in those few months. My grandpa says he doesn’t have an opinion and would have to meet him a few more times.
I almost felt that my uncle was feeling a bit betrayed by M’s presence and knowing that we had something between us. You know, the whole single life thing and all. I noticed that he didn’t talk to him at all until much later. I guess he was scoping him out first. Sneaky. M told me that my grandma added him as a friend on FB, and I’m like, for real?? Now I’m beginning to suspect that it’s my uncle utilizing their profile because he knows about things that I post online but he long since deleted his own account.
My mom has been surprisingly supportive. Cautious, but supportive. And sad. I can sense it. There are times when I think about where this could all lead and to be honest I’m not ready to give up my current lifestyle with my mom and brother…and I know I don’t have to yet. Especially not so early in the game. No need to jump ahead when dealing with things in the now.
Wuuut that took a long time to write!!!