Yeah. I said it. BF. I asked him what we were and it was decided that indeed we are official. He’s jumped squarely onto that wagon while I’m still teetering on the edge.
But first! Thanksgiving was awesome! We had 14 people total and not nearly as many dogs as thought (just my 2) but it was chaos. Absolute chaos. Couldn’t fit everyone at the table, so instead of table talk, we ended up doing what we originally didn’t want to do which is set up a folding table and alienate people. Those people were me, M, my aunt and 2 uncles. It was….awkward at first until I let loose that M was 6 months active duty and it smoothed out from there. OH man speaking of awkward, M came later than I wanted so when he walked in the door, my uncle, grandparents and great aunt fell silent and just stared even after I introduced them. My immediate family was much more friendly but it set that half-awkward tone for the rest of the time regarding M. I didn’t have too much time to spend with him because I was helping my mom cook the 10,000 things of food we had. He was able to chuck my dog eaten football with my brother in law and I came out later and then one more time even later to throw it around with him. My shoulder was making me scared to throw. That makes me so sad and frustrated not to be able to throw like I want. My mom later told me that she wanted to talk more with him, but people started crowding around the table and she didn’t want to tell people to leave, so it will have to be another time. My sister was like he should have come earlier. It came and went in a flurry and whirlwind, and it was the VERY FIRST Thanksgiving in my memory where I didn’t stuff myself until I popped. Because of the talking and other considerations (like keeping conversation on and away from awkward) I had no time to eat!!! While it was enjoyable, I decided that this is too many people. 9 is already plenty and I prefer that smaller feel, thanks. More time with others.
Black Friday had my brother come with me (strangely) but then again when he does it puts a damper on my shopping flexibility. However we did score an XBoxONE Fallout bundle. Bought 2 games to go with it and voila, we spent the rest of Friday, all of Saturday and half of Sunday heavily entrenched in it. That left me out of communication with the world. Monday, yesterday, was that transition back into life. Forza and Divinity are solid, tight games. Fallout 3 made me feel like I wasted 2 hours of my life (it’s hard to go back and play old games like that), while Fallout 4 had me hooked in the 1.5 hours I played it.
I’m not a big fan of Bethesda games as blasphemous as that sounds to other gamers. The games are too open with no clear direction to storyline. Open world is great fun, but when it’s difficult to figure out what the heck you’re supposed to be doing to progress the storyline when you’re ready, that gets frustrating and quick. I loved Borderlands 2, Divinity is good, Fable, GTA. Borderlands is probably way at the top for game mechanics and storyline progression. Witcher was good but I didn’t want to invest my time into it. Skyrim….I get 12 hours in and ehh I’m good now. Also, I prefer the medieval/fantasy theme over war.
Great. Now I’m out of time to talk about the BF. In short, I was impressed by his actions and reactions to Thanksgiving. I’m still so comfortable in general around him. The only thing left is for me to actually physically interact with him…something I’ve yet to jump into. Just thinking of the idea that I have a bf now is exhilarating and makes me happy, but it also makes me scared because it’s…well…work. He’s so into me I feel like it’s a disservice that I’m not responding like he is. This is all so foreign to me, I don’t know how much I want to let go of my emotions. In the end it’s just I need to spend time with him. This is a terrible time of year for that, though, because I typically spend my winters playing video games. I just want downtime with him which is kind of hard because neither one of us has a place of our own to hang out without other ppl around. Not a big deal, but it puts a damper on things. For now we’ll continue our text barrages.