As my heart begins to melt and I move towards a serious relationship, my mind begins to scream. Wait. Stop. Why would you want to give up your freedom?? You’ll be obligated to do things. To be places. To support. Even when you don’t feel like it. And in the end it may turn out that it won’t work anyways. And you’ll get hurt. Again. Then what if you find someone better? What will do, huh? Will you betray them? Will you betray yourself? You don’t know what you’re doing. What you’re getting into.
My mind is correct, of course. Those are all concerns of mine. However, I feel that there are times when I need to just get in it and go. I refuse to let it get to the point where I’d change who I fundamentally am, just being in a relationship. I don’t want to give up on friends, or ignore them. I want my head to be as level as possible, but not to the point where it interferes with the relationship. Remember when I said I don’t want to play games with ppl? Well I don’t. But inevitably it might happen and I need to make it clear that may be the case.
If this doesn’t work out, I might just give up all together. I dunno. Depends on how much pain I’m in. BUt you can compare it to dogs. Just because one day I won’t have Gable or Liana anymore, will it be too painful to get another and do it again? It will require time, but I’m not sure given that I love dogs so much. It’ll be a new chapter, a new lesson.