Wasn’t going to update

But here I am! I wasn’t even going to turn on my laptop, but here it is!!

I wanted to read my book and indeed I have another 20 minutes before I need to head downstairs and eat things.

This Saturday will see me heading up to MD to get my new tires affixed and new brakes placed so that my car will feel more safe for the winter as well as releasing the basement from smelling like a cost club. I’m pretty stoked, but I’m still concerned that Car Guy doesn’t actually want to do it for me and that he feels obligated some how? I’ll feel him out now that I’ll finally meet him and see if this will be the first and last time. He seems so much more withdrawn from me ever since I asked. THen again, he’d told me in the past that other girls say that they don’t like his personality when they meet him. Like he’s too cold and impersonal. Maybe he got all “unfriendly” and “one-liney” because he got comfortable and therefore awkward? I dunno. I read people well, imho, but definitely much better in person.

Went down to my house this past weekend and pulled weeds. There is no feeling like plunging my hands in dirt and getting some good physical labor in. Came back to the townhouse and wanted to work on the grass given the amount of rain forecasted, but no water has touched the soil up here for ages. I managed to score a line dividing us from our neighbor’s yard (haha everyone noticed) and that was it. I need to aerate, dig up the stupid grass from their side, place the underground divider in a way that won’t alienate them and plant new grass. Looked around the house foundation and painting and recaulking need to be done.

I’m become more entrenched in AG’s life now. My heart is going towards him, but my brain says that I need to keep looking around and give other people chances. An old potential popped back up in my life. I’m afraid to meet up with him because he’s more different than the type of person I would typically feel comfortable around…afraid that I’d probably like him a lot. What really helped me with AG is that I detached myself emotionally for a time and that hiatus really put things into perspective, I think. In the end we still thought about each other and are continued to feel that way. He’s said several times that he knows I don’t want to get involved with him, so we’ve just been good friends at this point. It’s hard for me in general, though. Pretty much every guy that I’ve gotten to know well, I will never forget. Car Guy, AG, Con Guy, Jon. I like them all as friends and even if they stop talking to me I’ll never forget that emotional attachment I have for them…that care about what happens to them. I’ve been on first dates with others and I don’t give them much thought or care. Not like these guys. Crossfit Guy is new, but in the inbetween section. He’s so amiable.

We cleaned the house up yesterday since I couldn’t do my yardwork. I also have no money and yet I bought jeans, hiking boots and belts for the costume. >_< T-mobile’s ETF refund needs to come NOW.


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