The sweet sweet smell, feel, and mental stimulation of real, tangible books. It all started at the beach where I was only able to read 3/4 of a book in one week….super slow for me…and culminated in yesterday where I finished one in one day. The vocabulary words are starting to come back to me faster, my imaginative health is back on the incline, and my creative juices beginning to flow more uninhibited. The desire–oh the desire–to read is once again tugging on me. What a beautiful feeling. Next step is continue escapist fiction but also try and find a good textbook to read.

Autumn is in the air! The sun hits the trees a certain way, and the sky look like that only one time a year. The autumn smell is very faint at this moment, but will come soon. Sadly, the autumn allergies are busy affecting me too. It makes me want to do stuff. 20 years worth of school does that to me, but so do good memories at this time of the year. The Call of Autumn. haha.

I’m so glad to have been able to go to the beach this year…it just cements the need to do this every year. Having not gone last year, it realllllly takes its toll on my whole being. It’s only now, after the fact, that I realize how irritable and stressed I was without a proper vacation. I came back to work happier, feeling less monotonous and able to think of only work and how terrible people are. Vacation–or more accurately the beach– has a way of putting things into perspective  and releasing tension.  I was even sort of nice to AH yesterday….only 2 more weeks of her left. Ugh. But it’s OK because I went to the beach.

Speaking of vacation, I’ve recently started taking one from my religion. This past Saturday was probably the first time in 2 months I’ve been to mass. In light of recent events, I just don’t agree with the stances on certain things and I definitely don’t want to sit there and listen to someone drone on and on about evil things. Actually the last mass I went to saw the new, young priest preside and he was so vehement and passionate and seemingly holier-than-thou that it turned me off completely and even made me mad. However, I have to say that I did miss going and while I could do without the ostracizing sermons (actually the priest’s homily was providing a point in an indirect and diplomatic way) the rest of the mass had the usual calming effect to my soul. I think just being in the house of God has that effect on me. A place can humble myself and pray for my family and friends, and reflect on my own indiscretions.  Always makes me feel better to do that. My swollen head can be drained and I can release all that’s built up there too.

In other news, now that I’m running out of time, the lines ont he dating front have started to blur a little. I might be allowing myself to feel affectionate towards someone. Just affectionate, though. Not the all in all out kind of way. The take your time kind of way and that not everyone can be ideal kind of way. Still battling with the idea of eradicating my selfishness for another person, but it’s sliding towards the yes idea.




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