Goodbye

My house and I had a heart to heart this past weekend. I only went down for a day trip because I have to work today (MONDAY *shudder*) getting the front lawn mowed and only part of the back because the lawnmower battery was only half full (then later I read the instructions that told me that you should only use it at full charge not half or part and also you need to store it at full charge. Yeeeah. I think ima need a new battery soon the way I tried to use it). Killed a baby bunny in the process and I was so sad! I think the lawnmower ran over its neck because all of the sudden it was flailing and jumping and I scooped it up in my hands and it calmed down, but its neck was lolling and soon it stopped breathing altogether. It was so soft and small, I started freaking out about where its mama was, but the moment it stopped moving and blood came from its nose, I knew it was over. I wrapped it in a napkin and buried it in my yard, but it was hard to cut the grass again because bunnies don’t just have one baby…I have no idea what happened to mama. I ended up finding the nest and proceeded to dump grass clippings on top. Why? I have no idea. My rationale was something along the lines of discouraging them, but considering that’s more than likely NOT what will happen, it must have been more accurately I didn’t want to see a reminder of what I’d just done. A co-worker and I were just talking about how these days instead of doing something about a situation people’s first reactions are to pull out their phone cameras. I did the same thing in taking a picture of my dead bunny and it made me feel guilty, reveling and posting publicly another life’s demise. So I won’t post it here on this blog.

The good thing that came from that incident was that I didn’t have the heart or energy to drive back like a moron (there were plenty of people doing that for me) so it was relatively uneventful.

Since I have to work Mon-Fri this week, I wanted my Sunday to be as uneventful as possible. So we just did our usual grocery and gas run and came home to chill out. It was a good Sunday. It was also Mother’s Day, but we had already celebrated that on Friday when my mom and I had off. My sister and her husband surprised my mom and grandma by showing up unannounced. My delaying tactics worked!!!! We went out to eat, I kept my driving moron-ness to a minimum in honor of my grandparent passengers, and it was all good. RW posts are up for the next 3 weeks and I have the full arc done and sketched out.

I had time to really reflect on my current goal in life: searching for a significant other. From inexperience and naivety I only had the dating sites to go off, more precisely the profiles and questions and it had me thinking the wrong way about how relationships work or at least how to choose one. Everyone’s picky to an extent as you should be when looking for a long term relationship, but I came to the realization that you don’t have to be twins in all things in order for it to work. In fact, it’s likely better to not be joined at the hip and have all the same interests…because let’s face it: you need to have time where everyone just goes off and does their own thing sometimes, AND it’s cool to have someone who knows something you don’t. I’d thought about this in the past, but it didn’t really click until now. I thought about what I really require in a mate, and it boils down to just a few things. With this cleared up, I feel better and I can now fix my profiles to reflect that…not only that, but I’m really going to have to face what I’ve known but have been putting off for so long: just get out there and do things. Words are words until they’re put into action. I can sit here all day and analyze but like I learned in hygiene school: just go do it. How did it take me so long to figure it out?

Bah. I wish I didn’t have to work today, but at least I’ll get paid. Wish me luck this week. I might revisit to you know, vent.

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