I am really doing not well with the time change this year. I set my alarm late enough that it gives my body time to wake up normally, but not too late. I got a text from Army Guy at 6:40 which really startled me, but I napped until right before the alarm went off, then napped again for 5 minutes which is BAD because I’ve always gotten up! Ironically before DST I was getting up everyday at 5am. THe cloudiness and weather can be blamed, but not every day!!!
Hopefully I’m not getting sick. Yesterday at work rather sucked because 1) I had sinus problems, 2) crazy teeth clenching going on, and 3) there was a strong aura of irritability from someone. Hopefully today it better. I’m getting tired of going to work here again. The only thing keeping me going are my coworkers whom I love.
THere’s plenty of time to think during my long drives home in traffic, so I’ve really started thinking about my latest male pursuit: Army Guy. I’ve effectively put my sights on him and shut everything else out. The dating sites have gone cold at this point and even Cali Guy is taking a back burner. Con guy has been messaging me lately in a desperate attempt to talk to me again, but I’m really trying to stay away from him. To be honest, I think he gets the message and it’s weird that we haven’t messaged more often. Part of it is that I’ve not been getting on the computer nearly as much as I’ve been in the past (every night and morning). Without the need to check dating sites, I’ve run out of things to get on for really. I’ve got Army Guy’s texts and my 3DS games to keep me busy (Pokémon Shuffle, Pokémon Alpha Sapphire [which, btw, I’ve decided to buy Omega Ruby too because no one else will trade with me so might as well trade with myself], and Monster Hunter 4).
Anyhoos, my point is that I’ve placed all my eggs in one basket which is very unlike me! I like him. A lot. At least via text. We’re meeting next weekend and I truly hope it all goes well. I think my heart really wants this to work. Our childhoods are in common with crazy dads, we’re both Vietnamese-American, and work ethic is similar. He’s not the brightest bulb in the box, but I like that about him. He offers me knowledge I don’t know about…the non-academic part of life. He’s sweet and goofy and funny and open. Man, the openness is sooo nice!!! He enjoys the country life and he actually likes country music! His stance on religion is kinda iffy…he used it in the army and during his hard childhood as a crutch, but now that it’s over, he’s not into it. So there’s maybe a foundation and a general idea, but nothing active. Hardworking. Big family and, really, a bad boy past. Military-disciplined, and now with a step-dad he does nothing but love and look up to. Very into food…though the traditional rice kind… and he doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to move things along.
Analyzing this, my brain says to keep going. Keep looking. He’s not perfect, I could do better. My heart says, go for it! He might be the one! Pour everything into him! My brain counters and says, you know that you can not change people. Things that you can overlook now will grate on you later when you get comfortable with each other. Things that you said you wouldn’t compromise on. Heart you need to think.
With this in mind, it is with a heavy heart that I go back to my dating sites. I will continue to wish and be hopeful that things will workout because it is true: I will be very very sad if/when we stop talking to each other, because I have never felt this way about a guy before.