Today is the day

…the Lord has made! Let us rejoice and be glad!

Spoke with J last night and we decided to go to Old Rag even in rain. Not only would it be less crowded, but I have something I’d like to do on Sunday. I have no qualms at all about going in the rain, but I think I upset him a little when I texted the other day about “slipping and dying or getting sick.” It made me realize more how often I exaggerate, or really, my personality where I tend to think of the worst case scenario first and go from there. Other people construe it like I’m a pessimist or am paranoid, but 1) I tend to verbalize my worries and concerns, 2) it’s a defense mechanism that has served me well in my lifetime of making decisions, and 3) most of the time it really doesn’t concern me THAT much, it’s just how I think. Sometimes others think I’m dead serious about the worries. Just putting it out there! To me, I try to consider every possible outcome. If I expect the worst than if the worst does happen, it’s not a surprise. I can cope better. In the past people have exclaimed at me: “CALM DOWN” when I’m expressing things, but I AM calm. I’m not scared at all. I push everything out so that it doesn’t have to stay in.

I  guess he takes words for what they are? See there I go again picking at things. I overheard an elderly patient the other day say to my co-worker, “some people aren’t meant to get married. There’s a lack of independence there, because you always have to be thinking about the other person. And for some people, that’s just not possible. Also, men never grow up.” But I don’t want to be alone in the future. This is a tagalong to my previous post of “what I’m trying to accomplish here.” Looks like I’ll have to devote a post to just that in the future when I have more time.

Figures I JUST comeback from walking the dogs in the rain and it stopped. >_<


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