Still hiding

I’ll just admit it here: I hate birthday parties. Not even my own. Maybe celebrations are just a bunch of hoopla for me. The only celebrations that I find any type of pleasure in attending or throwing are the major holidays (easter, thanksgiving, Christmas, Tet) and graduations. Similarly I think weddings, or more accurately the whole process of getting married, are a bunch of wastes of time and money. THe actual wedding itself I have no real problem with. It’s all the stuff surrounding it that is excessive. You have an engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette/bachelor parties, rehearsal dinner, etc. Why do you have to build the whole thing up so much when esp nowadays it just dissipates into nothingness in about 2 years. Not only that, but the couple and family has to shell out so much cash for the whole thing. And if it’s a “crappy” or “cheap” wedding everyone balks. Excuse me if some people don’t have thousands of dollars to celebrate their own marriage. They’re young, and probably lacking in funds to begin with and now they’re saddled with rings, wedding dresses, pictures, venue, flowers, bridesmaid/groomsmen clothes, food, honeymoon, and on and on. Way to start off your life together: broke. I think the whole purpose of a wedding gets lost in the glamor and glitz.  Does that say something about the system. On the bright side (or not), you get to see your significant other in a state of intense distress for once. Nervous breakdowns, temper tantrums.

That somewhat cryptic post I had earlier about my back pain seeming less less like a postural/muscle issue needs some elaboration. Now that the wonderful back pain muscle death is over for the most part (I can bend!!!), I realized that the same issue before I  really threw out my back is still there. Right lower back pain, especially when sitting and leaning at an angle. It doesn’t seem affected at all by exercises, stretches, postural change, etc. And theeen I begin noticing a dull ache, pressure and intermittent sharp pain in my lower right abdomen. I noticed it too long before these whole incidents and also when I was doing some of the exercises, particularly, pulling my knees towards my chest. At the time I thought it was that I was fat and just working some of those abdomen muscles that haven’t been used in a while. Now, I’m beginning to suspect it may be something internally. As I palpate the area I don’t really feel anything abnormal, but then it’s hard to feel things on yourself, in my opinion. The uncomfortableness is particularly noticeable when I lie down and when I’m sitting like in the car. I’ve noticed some irregularities in my period lately. Nothing overly significant, but irregular nonetheless. Thus started my internet research into ovarian cysts. Lo and behold! Back pain is a symptom.

So the big question here: what am I going to do about it? I am still trying to avoid going to the doctor (why, I’m not really sure) so once again, I wait. Apparently doctors will ask you to do the same thing because sometimes these things go away on its own. Another week. THe bad part about all of this is that I think our insurance deal is about to expire so I should think about taking advantage of it rather soon. I haven’t been to the doctor for 3-4 years, and the last one was because I was sick.

Still property searching in Fredericksburg area. I would love to move form here in the next year. I also plan to quit my job in the next 6 months which is probably financial suicide.

Ahhh life.


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