He drives me nutters. Ever since the Wii busto-ed he’s been moping around. We’ve substituted the PS2 for now while we decide what to do about the Wii (I think I’m gonna send it in to Nintendo so that we can attempt to keep the records of our games), and we have like a total of 4 actual games for it; only one of those is actually “fun” by his standards…but he’s already beaten it.
I mean, really! Apparently to him if he can’t play video games, he can’t function. There’s no point in living for him if there are no video games. DUDE I can think of so many things to do even if there are no video games!!! 1) SIGN UP FOR YOUR STUPID CLASSES, 2) ACTIVELY FIND A JOB, 3)Volunteer, 4) go for a run/walk/get outside, 5)Read over your textbooks. Especially that programming one I got him for christmas. If he was me, I’d include writing, sketching, biking, reading a good book, find a friend who’s not working. Personally I find this lack of Wii to be a blessing. He was (and is) so obsessed with the Monster Hunter game that I’m pretty sure he’s suffering from withdrawal. Hah. I haven’t moved to do anything with the Wii on purpose.
I’ve disclosed to my mom that I think he is in need of a therapist. It has been a whole year now since we’ve escaped, and he’s not improved by much. Still the same old, same old. Granted we’ve not had our own place with our own rules and our own authority, but I don’t think that has too much bearing on things. My mom and I adapted fine. He’s still elusive about certain things, his schooling (he actively avoids the subject) is presumably not going well just like before (how hard is it to pass 100 and 200 level classes. Really.), he still pretty much runs away at the first scent of us confronting him about the important things (school, job…future), and he’s still stuck on whoever it is that causes his iPod to be perpetually melded to his hand. I still blame that person (people?) for pretty much all of his issues. Self-confidence around strangers still has not improved, and his dental hygiene and self-taking-care-of is still not well.
The lack of space and the feeling of confinement is a good excuse for now, but I feel like as soon as we get the new house, another excuse is just going to pop up out of the horizon. It would be useful, I think, if he would stop clamming up like a shell about his thoughts and feelings. However, to do so to someone like me would be a bad thing because he is my brother and I definitely have set expectations annd grievances. I would obviously have comments to make, which is why someone neutral like a therapist is the best choice.
See, right now, and for the past 4 hours he has actively avoided my mom because she was going to make him sign up for classes. We think he won’t do it because he’s on academic probation/suspension again…which would mean that he can’t even if he wanted to. I DON’T GET WHAT IS SO DARN HARD ABOUT GOING TO SCHOOL. And just for an associates of all things!!!! 200 level courses!!! He’s not stupid, we all know he’s capable of doing it! If he needed help, why didn’t he ask, I’ve been without a 5 day-a-week job for a year now. WHY WOULD YOU WASTE MY MOM’S MONEY WHEN SHE LIKE HAS NONE??? Why would you knowingly go to school and actively not do the work? Why won’t he talk to us about what’s wrong instead of drowning in this morass he’s gotten himself in? Why would you go to classes and sit there playing games or talking to your friends instead? Honestly. You really don’t need a laptop to go to classes. I’d always found my computer to be more of a nuisance and a distraction. Why can’t he be responsible?
If you’d rather go to work than go to school, fine! Tell someone your intentions and then FIND A JOB. But he hasn’t even done THAT. He says he likes computer stuff, but why not take computer courses???? THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.
Oh look. I think he finally made it down the stairs after all this time. He’s talking to my mom. I won’t interfere. He and my sister tend to see me as a really big rival in the academic sense. Ok. I do well in school. So? What’s so hard about asking me to help? I’m not gonna sit there and say, YOU’RE STUPID YOU IDIOT HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW EXACTLY EVERY MECHANISM OF THE RENAL SYSTEM. Though considering….I’ve been out of practice with studying and everything I’ve learned is like, huh, now.
OK RANT OVER. Geez. Bwah. Usually when I write this, it turns out that the reality isn’t all that bad. I have this weird affliction where whenever I write things down like this, it’s as if people can read my mind because shortly thereafter, the culprit will start doing things to my liking.
You know, when people heard what my dad had done to us, many of the males said this, “How can a man live with himself knowing that he’s doing such harm to his own family?” Right now, I’m thinking, “How can a man live with himself knowing that he’s not accomplishing anything in his life besides just…existing off sleep, food and video games?” Aren’t men supposed to have a stronger drive to acheive? Hah. I’ve mentioned this to many people now, but it seems that the future for our male race is grim. I look around and males who were once held to high expectations such a chivalry, achievement, and courage are accomplishing rather the opposite. Chivalry is dead, men are falling rapidly in the education arena, and they’d rather run than fight. Not the vast majority of them, but enough of them that you’d notice. Women are taking their place now, and yet there’s still less than stellar gender equality in the work place. It really isn’t fair. It was so easy for my brother to get a job. He applied once to Target. I’ve applied who knows how many times. I’ve found that hourly jobs prefer men over women.
Work tomorrow. Sleeeeeepy. Good news = I’ve sketched and inked enough RW’s for a month.